{"id":7114,"date":"2011-02-14T18:56:03","date_gmt":"2011-02-15T02:56:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=7114"},"modified":"2011-02-14T18:56:03","modified_gmt":"2011-02-15T02:56:03","slug":"grammys-2011-for-dummies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/grammys-2011-for-dummies\/","title":{"rendered":"Grammys 2011 for Dummies"},"content":{"rendered":"

Rhianna<\/strong> needs to take up prostitution and get it over with. Lady Gaga<\/strong> needs to get the fuck over herself. J Lo<\/strong> needs to lose the hair extensions and her creepy husband. Mick Jagger<\/strong> needs to eat and Bob Dylan<\/strong> needs to give up smoking.<\/p>\n

Cee Lo Green<\/strong> was a one-man mardis gra and Gwyneth<\/strong> should be killed for ruining his performance. Lady Antebellum<\/strong> needs to die but not until they apologize for everything. John Mayer<\/strong> channeled Johnny Depp but fucked up the ever-haunting “Jolene.” Babs Streisand<\/strong> was a waxy looking monolith but proved that a diva can hold a mic without all that crazy finger action.<\/p>\n

Bruno Mars<\/strong> was a worthless punk as usual but Janelle Monae<\/strong> saved the day with her adorable androgynous rockabilly presence. \u00a0 Justin Bieber<\/strong> fought back tears as he lost to the regal Esperanza Spalding<\/strong>, who will singlehandedly bring back the Afro according to me, god bless her.<\/p>\n

Eminem<\/strong> confirmed his status as the rapper we’d most like to have sex with. An angry ball of rage, \u00a0 Eminem is on fire! He is the Ryan Gosling<\/strong> of rap. Talent plus intensity plus physical charisma = YES.<\/p>\n

Muse<\/strong> sang a song that sounded like all their songs and Arcade Fire<\/strong> demonstrated that committed, liberating rock lives on, even in the age of horrible American Idolesque canned pop and the dreadful scourge of Taylor Swiftian confessional bleating.<\/p>\n

Does that cover it?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"