{"id":7531,"date":"2011-04-29T23:59:14","date_gmt":"2011-04-30T07:59:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=7531"},"modified":"2011-04-29T23:59:14","modified_gmt":"2011-04-30T07:59:14","slug":"the-coffee-problem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/the-coffee-problem\/","title":{"rendered":"The Coffee Problem"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/coffee-line.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-7532\" title=\"coffee line\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/coffee-line.jpg?resize=591%2C479\" alt=\"\" width=\"591\" height=\"479\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/coffee-line.jpg?w=591&amp;ssl=1 591w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/coffee-line.jpg?resize=300%2C243&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 591px) 100vw, 591px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Today I went out to a mall and ordered a cup of normal coffee. As I walked away with my small black coffee, I heard a woman order a no-foam non-fat decaf extra-hot latte. I think there might have been one more requirement but I can&#8217;t remember it. This underscores the fact that I&#8217;m way too stupid to get work as a barrista.<\/p>\n<p>Why the fuck do people have such perfectionist needs when it comes to coffee?! What the hell is wrong with these people?? Why do they feel so entitled to reel off a string of &nbsp;\u00a0detailed instructions for a cup of coffee, that another human being has to then prepare TO THE LETTER?!?<\/p>\n<p>I would be mortified to appear this fussy about anything. Why aren&#8217;t these coffee prima donnas embarrassed?<\/p>\n<p>My own theory is that they didn&#8217;t get enough of Mommy&#8217;s attentive pampering so now they&#8217;re going to take it out on some helpless coffee server who can&#8217;t spank them or send them to their room.<\/p>\n<p>Let&#8217;s hear your theory.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Today I went out to a mall and ordered a cup of normal coffee. As I walked away with my small black coffee, I heard a woman order a no-foam non-fat decaf extra-hot latte. I think there might have been &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/the-coffee-problem\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[7],"tags":[229,445,420],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-1Xt","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7531"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7531"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7531\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7531"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7531"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7531"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}