{"id":7834,"date":"2011-07-20T01:20:08","date_gmt":"2011-07-20T09:20:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=7834"},"modified":"2011-07-20T01:20:08","modified_gmt":"2011-07-20T09:20:08","slug":"the-fork","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/the-fork\/","title":{"rendered":"The Fork"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/The-Fork.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-7835\" title=\"The Fork\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/The-Fork.jpg?resize=512%2C384\" alt=\"\" width=\"512\" height=\"384\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/The-Fork.jpg?w=512&amp;ssl=1 512w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/The-Fork.jpg?resize=300%2C225&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Remember <a href=\"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/2009\/01\/26\/the-nose-war\/\" target=\"_blank\">The Nose War<\/a>?<\/p>\n<p>Well, now it&#8217;s a fork.<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s a fork on the bookcase by the front door, and it&#8217;s been there for at least a week. Maybe two weeks. My teenager asked me about it, without implying that he might be willing to take it back to the kitchen. I told him that I didn&#8217;t know what it was doing on the bookcase, but I wasn&#8217;t going to move it, either. He understood.<\/p>\n<p>Now it has taken the place of The Nose. My husband has obviously seen the fork, since nothing escapes his eagle eye (especially things that are kitchen-related.)<\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;ll see what happens.<\/p>\n<p>Do any of you play these childish games with your partner? If not, you&#8217;re really missing out on the true essence of marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Remember The Nose War? Well, now it&#8217;s a fork. There&#8217;s a fork on the bookcase by the front door, and it&#8217;s been there for at least a week. Maybe two weeks. My teenager asked me about it, without implying that &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/the-fork\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[12,9],"tags":[991,484],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-22m","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7834"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7834"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7834\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7834"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7834"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7834"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}