{"id":7910,"date":"2011-08-07T01:46:07","date_gmt":"2011-08-07T09:46:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=7910"},"modified":"2011-08-07T01:48:04","modified_gmt":"2011-08-07T09:48:04","slug":"ask-a-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/ask-a-man\/","title":{"rendered":"Ask a Man"},"content":{"rendered":"

One of the exciting new features you can look forward to here will be the convenience of A Man to answer your questions regarding male behavior. The feature will be called Ask a Man<\/strong>, and written by my friend Romeo<\/strong>, who is not only male but has served in our armed forces, drives a truck and currently brandishes a forbidding mohawk.<\/p>\n

Romeo has always shown a willingness, however reluctant, to answer all my questions and now he will answer yours, too.<\/p>\n

Here are the ones that bother me most, or let’s just say they mystify me the most:<\/p>\n

When two men greet each other with a handshake, how do they know which kind of handshake to use? If it’s the fist on top of fist, how do they know whose fist goes on top? How do they know whether it’s going to be just an ordinary handshake or a special Bro Shake? What is the signal?<\/p>\n

My second question is, why are men so fucking touchy? They can’t take any direct criticism, obviously, but anything that might remotely be construed as some kind of criticism makes them get testy. While they love to open sentences with “You ought to try…” or “Why do you always…” it is strictly verboten to address a man like that unless you want him to snap at you or sulk for an hour. Why are they so thin-skinned??<\/p>\n

While I await Romeo’s lucid explanation of these mysteries, feel free to submit your own question for him in the comments. I am looking at this coming Friday as the launch date for Ask a Man<\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"