{"id":7994,"date":"2011-09-02T12:08:11","date_gmt":"2011-09-02T20:08:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=7994"},"modified":"2012-03-16T15:01:13","modified_gmt":"2012-03-16T23:01:13","slug":"older-no-wiser","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/older-no-wiser\/","title":{"rendered":"Older, No Wiser"},"content":{"rendered":"

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

I forgot to say that Sunday was my birthday. Now I am 58 and none the wiser. My husband took me to a huge botanica where I squealed with pleasure at the racks and racks of magical oils and candles. We thought it would be nice to get a picture of me with the big Santa \u00a0Muerta, but look! You can barely tell us apart.<\/p>\n

In my imagination, I look more like this:<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

or even this:<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

Oh never mind. \u00a0I guess I can start cultivating an eccentric old lady look, although it seems like a lot of trouble. Furthermore, now that it’s been packaged and approved by Topshop<\/strong>, its appeal is kind of dubious.<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

What \u00a0brought \u00a0this on, do you think? Is it Tavi-related? Is it Daphne Guinness? Is it Little Edie Beale<\/strong>? Is it that blog about Advanced Style with all the wacky looking old ladies?<\/p>\n

Whatever the reason for officially dictating a trend called Eccentric Lady, it is by definition less original and appealing. Fuck it.<\/p>\n

I’m sticking with Geriatric Tomboy <\/strong>, \u00a0 \u00a0but easing into Slob<\/strong>. Maybe it’s more like \u00a0Crypto-Hipster Slob <\/strong><\/strong> now that I have a big tattoo.<\/p>\n

Let’s brace ourselves for an army of young girls wearing turbans, big sunglasses, ratty furs, granny dresses and hideous brooches. If they can loose the scary Jeffrey Campbell shoes, maybe it will be a blessing in disguise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I forgot to say that Sunday was my birthday. Now I am 58 and none the wiser. My husband took me to a huge botanica where I squealed with pleasure at the racks and racks of magical oils and candles. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2,8],"tags":[314,1001,590,691],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-24W","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7994"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7994"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7994\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7994"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7994"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7994"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}