{"id":823,"date":"2008-04-24T17:01:20","date_gmt":"2008-04-25T01:01:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=823"},"modified":"2008-04-24T17:01:20","modified_gmt":"2008-04-25T01:01:20","slug":"sex-with-cows-doesnt-pay","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/sex-with-cows-doesnt-pay\/","title":{"rendered":"Sex With Cows Doesn&#8217;t Pay"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/04\/elsie-the-cow.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-824\" title=\"elsie-the-cow\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/04\/elsie-the-cow-150x150.jpg?resize=150%2C150\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/04\/elsie-the-cow.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/var\/www\/vhosts\/godammit.com\/httpdocs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/04\/elsie-the-cow.jpg?zoom=2&amp;resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>NJ policeman <a href=\"http:\/\/www.philly.com\/inquirer\/local\/nj\/20080424_Animal-cruelty_charges_added_in_sex-assault_case.html\" target=\"_blank\">Robert Melia<\/a> is in trouble for &#8216;engaging barnyard animals in sex acts.&#8217; He has already been charged with child molestation. Perhaps he turned to an understanding cow when he realized that sex with kids can be a risky business. I won&#8217;t be surprised if Mr. Melia accuses the cow of coming on to him. Those Zoophile guys are always convinced that the animal was flirting with them.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/04\/rocky-the-bear.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-826\" title=\"rocky-the-bear\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/04\/rocky-the-bear-150x150.jpg?resize=150%2C150\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>This story seems linked somehow to the trainer who was killed by a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.msnbc.msn.com\/id\/24266564\/\" target=\"_blank\">grizzly bear <\/a>while they were filming a commercial. Rocky The Bear was a big star, having appeared with Will Ferrell in some stupid comedy.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe animals want to be left alone. Maybe that bear was acting on the part of helpless cows! Maybe he was saying, &#8220;We like you humans well enough, but we don&#8217;t want to have sex with you or help you sell products!&#8221; Last month, a woman was conducting a show with two cheetahs at her Wildlife Conservation Center when <a href=\"http:\/\/cbs5.com\/national\/cheetah.west.palm.2.687863.html\" target=\"_blank\">they attacked her<\/a>. She was bitten more than 40 times. You&#8217;d think they made their point, but no, the woman plans to continue her &#8216;work&#8217; with big cats.<\/p>\n<p>Let&#8217;s hope that Rocky The Bear isn&#8217;t put to death for acting like a wild animal. The real animal is Robert Melia.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>NJ policeman Robert Melia is in trouble for &#8216;engaging barnyard animals in sex acts.&#8217; He has already been charged with child molestation. Perhaps he turned to an understanding cow when he realized that sex with kids can be a risky &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/sex-with-cows-doesnt-pay\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[5,8],"tags":[142,141],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-dh","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/823"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=823"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/823\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=823"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=823"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=823"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}