{"id":8233,"date":"2011-11-09T01:33:14","date_gmt":"2011-11-09T09:33:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=8233"},"modified":"2011-11-18T02:25:57","modified_gmt":"2011-11-18T10:25:57","slug":"what-ive-learned-about-suicide-for-simone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/what-ive-learned-about-suicide-for-simone\/","title":{"rendered":"What I&#8217;ve Learned About Suicide (for Simone)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/Come-Back-by-Fernando-Farfan.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8235\" title=\"Come Back by - Fernando Farfan\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/Come-Back-by-Fernando-Farfan.jpg?resize=512%2C336\" alt=\"\" width=\"512\" height=\"336\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/Come-Back-by-Fernando-Farfan.jpg?w=512&amp;ssl=1 512w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/Come-Back-by-Fernando-Farfan.jpg?resize=300%2C196&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve learned that<a href=\"http:\/\/www.psychiatrictimes.com\/conference-reports\/apa2011\/content\/article\/10168\/1865745\" target=\"_blank\"> doctors <\/a>are trying to develop a predictive tool that could warn of a patient\u2019s risk of suicide.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cWe can identify those individuals with highest risk for potential suicide, but we can\u2019t identify those who will commit suicide in the near future.&nbsp;\u00a0In part, this is because the duration between the suicidal thought and attempt is usually only about 10 minutes,\u201d said Dr. Igor Galynker, MD, PhD.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Suicide risk factors include psychiatric disorders, chronic physical illness, suicidal ideation, a history of suicide attempts, and poor social supports.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Galynker contends that the suicidal act itself is not a thinking process. Rather, it is an affective state.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>In their clinical work, Galynker&#8217;s team has identified repeated themes.&nbsp;\u00a0These include fear of entrapment and distorted and confused thinking. They also identified a distinct psychopathologic state or syndrome related to panic and psychosis.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Galynker and his coauthors describe the state as being \u201cmarked by \u2018<strong>ruminative flooding<\/strong>\u2019 (a confusing, uncontrollable and overwhelming profusion of negative thoughts) coupled with an acute \u2018<strong>frantic hopelessness<\/strong>,\u2019 in which not only is there a fatalistic conviction that life cannot improve, but also an oppressive sense of entrapment and imminent doom.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>All of this builds to an intolerable, confused state in which patients feel that suicidal action is the only conceivable route of escape.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t know how effectively anyone can use this information but I know it is helpful to me. It may help you too, if you have lost a loved one to suicide.<\/p>\n<p>While I was stuck in a dark well of misery, I blamed Max&#8217;s girlfriend for his decision to end his life. Even though he explained in a message he left that he couldn&#8217;t stand the chronic pain of his injuries and the complications that developed.<\/p>\n<p>I blamed her and wanted her to suffer. I wrote about her here and demonized her without mercy.<\/p>\n<p>Not too long ago, I realized how badly I had wronged her. I asked if she could forgive me.<\/p>\n<p>Max loved her and felt their love was a kind of miracle. She loved him back and got this tattoo as a symbol of their love.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/engagement-tattoo.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-8237\" title=\"engagement tattoo\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/engagement-tattoo-300x225.jpg?resize=300%2C225\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/engagement-tattoo.jpg?resize=300%2C225&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/engagement-tattoo.jpg?w=640&amp;ssl=1 640w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>She loved him but couldn&#8217;t save him, just as I couldn&#8217;t save him. He would not be saved.<\/p>\n<p>The other day, I confided to her that I don&#8217;t understand those mothers who go on after their child&#8217;s suicide and proceed to live a life as if it was just some chapter in their past. I cited Gloria Vanderbilt, whose son jumped out a window, right in front of her.<\/p>\n<p>She agreed and suggested&nbsp;\u00a0that Gloria Vanderbilt had simply managed to stay distracted. &nbsp;\u00a0I said, &#8220;What, for sixty years?!&#8221; and she answered, &#8220;Yes.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I think this is a piece of wisdom I couldn&#8217;t have found on my own.<\/p>\n<p>I wish I could change so many things but of course I can&#8217;t. One thing I can do is apologize to Simone, and I&#8217;m doing it&nbsp;\u00a0publicly. &nbsp;\u00a0I&#8217;m sorry for hurting you. We are in this together, after all. &nbsp;\u00a0xo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve learned that doctors are trying to develop a predictive tool that could warn of a patient\u2019s risk of suicide. \u201cWe can identify those individuals with highest risk for potential suicide, but we can\u2019t identify those who will commit suicide &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/what-ive-learned-about-suicide-for-simone\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[321],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-28N","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8233"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8233"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8233\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8233"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8233"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8233"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}