{"id":8907,"date":"2012-07-19T23:18:04","date_gmt":"2012-07-20T07:18:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=8907"},"modified":"2012-07-19T23:18:04","modified_gmt":"2012-07-20T07:18:04","slug":"lets-do-the-math","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/lets-do-the-math\/","title":{"rendered":"Let&#8217;s Do the Math"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/silk-oxfords-340.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8908\" title=\"silk oxfords 340\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/silk-oxfords-340.jpg?resize=495%2C500\" alt=\"\" width=\"495\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/silk-oxfords-340.jpg?w=495&amp;ssl=1 495w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/silk-oxfords-340.jpg?resize=297%2C300&amp;ssl=1 297w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 495px) 100vw, 495px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Admit that these shoes are perfect for me. They&#8217;re flat, they&#8217;re pointy, they&#8217;re an impractical color. They are screaming my name.<\/p>\n<p>Plus, they&#8217;re on sale, reduced from $850 to $340! I would be saving $510!<\/p>\n<p>But I know it&#8217;s wrong to spend $340 on shoes I don&#8217;t need. I never go anywhere and I have plenty of shoes. Not that these details have stopped me in the past.<\/p>\n<p>I really want to get out my credit card but I also want to be a virtuous person instead of a greedy nitwit who curates stupid shoes. I&#8217;m trying to think of other things that $340 could buy. I could get a half-vial of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.radiesse.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Radiesse<\/a> to plump up my face like a chipmunk, or half a chipmunk.<\/p>\n<p>I could feed 5000 starving families in Africa. I could get a pair of eyeglasses that don&#8217;t leave a deep indentation on the bridge of my nose. I could pay my Nordstrom bill.<\/p>\n<p>What better things could I do with $340? Please help me. I feel like a werewolf on a full moon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Admit that these shoes are perfect for me. They&#8217;re flat, they&#8217;re pointy, they&#8217;re an impractical color. They are screaming my name. Plus, they&#8217;re on sale, reduced from $850 to $340! I would be saving $510! But I know it&#8217;s wrong &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/lets-do-the-math\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[9,2],"tags":[360,37,118],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-2jF","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8907"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8907"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8907\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8907"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8907"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8907"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}