{"id":941,"date":"2008-06-22T00:32:26","date_gmt":"2008-06-22T08:32:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=941"},"modified":"2008-06-22T00:32:26","modified_gmt":"2008-06-22T08:32:26","slug":"whenever-one-door-closes-another-one-opens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/whenever-one-door-closes-another-one-opens\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Whenever One Door Closes, Another One Opens&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/06\/jodpur-legs-red-eyes.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-942\" title=\"jodpur-legs-red-eyes\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/06\/jodpur-legs-red-eyes-115x300.jpg?resize=115%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"115\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/06\/jodpur-legs-red-eyes.jpg?resize=115%2C300&amp;ssl=1 115w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/var\/www\/vhosts\/godammit.com\/httpdocs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/06\/jodpur-legs-red-eyes.jpg?zoom=2&amp;resize=115%2C300&amp;ssl=1 230w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 115px) 100vw, 115px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>The results are in. I have learned that I am too old and cranky to model for a camera, not to mention changing outfits.  Notice how these overalls make me look like I&#8217;m wearing jodhpurs.  I look like a hippo. No matter how many times I am forced to whine that &#8220;I&#8217;m not fat in real life&#8221; god has decided to make me sound like a lying hippo.<\/p>\n<p>Whosoever wants these overalls and wears a US 4 is welcome to them. They have little zips at the ankles, so being short might be a problem. Simply write a nice compliment about hippos and you win!<\/p>\n<p>Here is what happened another time I tried to model.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/06\/dress-with-dog.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-943\" title=\"dress-with-dog\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/06\/dress-with-dog-199x300.jpg?resize=199%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"199\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/06\/dress-with-dog.jpg?resize=199%2C300&amp;ssl=1 199w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/06\/dress-with-dog.jpg?w=1326&amp;ssl=1 1326w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 199px) 100vw, 199px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Oh well. Next time I decide to model something, I will fucking well put on a girdle or truss or something.<\/p>\n<p>On a brighter note, I just found out <a href=\"http:\/\/www.easybakecoven.net\/\" target=\"_blank\">here<\/a> that the FIT Museum is putting together an exhibit called &#8220;Dark Glamour&#8221;, devoted to the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.fitnyc.edu\/aspx\/Content.aspx?menu=FutureGlobal:Museum:SpecialExhibitions:UpcomingExhibitions\" target=\"_blank\">gothic in fashion<\/a>. Thank you, Susan!&nbsp;\u00a0 This is all the excuse I need to plan a trip to New York.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/06\/goth-2-fit.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-944\" title=\"goth-2-fit\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/06\/goth-2-fit.jpg?resize=239%2C239\" alt=\"\" width=\"239\" height=\"239\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/06\/goth-2-fit.jpg?w=239&amp;ssl=1 239w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/06\/goth-2-fit.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 239px) 100vw, 239px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The results are in. I have learned that I am too old and cranky to model for a camera, not to mention changing outfits. Notice how these overalls make me look like I&#8217;m wearing jodhpurs. I look like a hippo. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/whenever-one-door-closes-another-one-opens\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2,7],"tags":[263,262,81],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-fb","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/941"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=941"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/941\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=941"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=941"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=941"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}