{"id":9659,"date":"2013-06-13T23:58:37","date_gmt":"2013-06-14T07:58:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=9659"},"modified":"2013-06-14T00:00:33","modified_gmt":"2013-06-14T08:00:33","slug":"rating-douches","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/rating-douches\/","title":{"rendered":"Rating Douches"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Douchetrio.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-9671\" alt=\"Douchetrio\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Douchetrio.jpg?resize=515%2C414\" width=\"515\" height=\"414\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Douchetrio.jpg?w=515&amp;ssl=1 515w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Douchetrio.jpg?resize=300%2C241&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 515px) 100vw, 515px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Douches are easy to come by, but look how special they are when you have three. See <a href=\"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/2012\/01\/01\/three-douches\/\" target=\"_blank\">here<\/a> to refresh your memory.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s a good one I found last week:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Douche-of-the-Day.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-9674\" alt=\"Douche of the Day\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Douche-of-the-Day.jpg?resize=500%2C657\" width=\"500\" height=\"657\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Douche-of-the-Day.jpg?w=500&amp;ssl=1 500w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Douche-of-the-Day.jpg?resize=228%2C300&amp;ssl=1 228w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>By &#8216;good&#8217; I mean fulfilling most of the requirements, although he lacks a beard and those things in his ear-holes.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;d like to have a point system for rating douches, like <a href=\"http:\/\/www.buckmanager.com\/category\/aging-and-scoring-deer\/\" target=\"_blank\">hunters<\/a> have for deer, with 10 being the perfect score.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Neck tettoo<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Beard<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Shaved back of the head<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Cigarette<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Ear plug or septum ring<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Sullen expression<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Knuckle tattoo<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Shit! That&#8217;s only seven. What attributes am I missing? Or should a full beard get extra points?<\/p>\n<p>Please help. It&#8217;s for science.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Douches are easy to come by, but look how special they are when you have three. See here to refresh your memory. Here&#8217;s a good one I found last week: &nbsp; By &#8216;good&#8217; I mean fulfilling most of the requirements, &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/rating-douches\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2,968],"tags":[1066,488,1067],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-2vN","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9659"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9659"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9659\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9659"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9659"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9659"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}