{"id":9980,"date":"2013-11-12T03:19:36","date_gmt":"2013-11-12T11:19:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=9980"},"modified":"2013-11-12T03:21:02","modified_gmt":"2013-11-12T11:21:02","slug":"douche-fest","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/douche-fest\/","title":{"rendered":"Douche Fest!"},"content":{"rendered":"

$\"Ricki-Hall-4\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

$\"Ricki-Hall-by-Ram-Shergill-for-Ziad-Ghanem-Couture-AW13-3\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

Ricki Hall<\/strong> is a Douche Icon whose only true rival is Francois Verkerk<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

$\"francois$ <\/a><\/p>\n

How could you choose one over the other? Does Francois win because of his awful moustache? Or does Ricki’s full beard and grumpy scowl put him over the top?<\/p>\n

$\"douche$ <\/a> $\"pierced$ <\/a><\/p>\n

Compared with the two champs, the pair of douches above are neither here nor there. The huge ear hole wins points but otherwise, nothing.<\/p>\n

$\"movember-moustache-with-tatoos\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

This one could have reached Ricki\/Francois status if he didn’t look so circusy.<\/p>\n

The world of douches is a wonderful distraction that I urge everyone to explore and embrace. I wonder if they like each other or if they are arch enemies? When this douche thing is over, there will be thousands of dejected clowns roaming the earth, saving pennies for laser treatments.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, let’s rate them.<\/p>\n

$\"(c)$ <\/a><\/p>\n

Click on this guy above ( (c) Jonathan Daniel Price<\/em>) and add up your points.<\/p>\n

Hairdo
\nFacial hair
\nEarplugs
\nSeptum ring
\nChest tattoo
\nBackpack
\nTearful expression<\/p>\n

I’m willing to bet that he isn’t wearing socks, which brings his total to 8 out of 10.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ricki Hall is a Douche Icon whose only true rival is Francois Verkerk. How could you choose one over the other? Does Francois win because of his awful moustache? Or does Ricki’s full beard and grumpy scowl put … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[12,2,968],"tags":[488,355,357],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-2AY","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9980"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9980"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9980\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9980"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9980"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9980"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}