Comments on: You Won’t Even Believe This

By: Gail Stoop

Gail Stoop — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 01:41:15 +0000

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By: dexter vandango

dexter vandango — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 08:42:23 +0000

Ali’s poem is all that a poem should be:

Searching, heartfelt, entertaining, marveling.

I shall treat my “wand” with more respect in in the future and not so readily turn it over to the hands of the more clumsy and less inspired sort of woman.

By: Dollybird

Dollybird — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 23:01:09 +0000

Dear Sister Wolf,
So sorry for your troubles, Man that sounds PAINFUL a broken hip Jesus, Mary and Joesph!!

I nearly shit myself when I recently googled my name to see some replies I sent you were gone Global so I must use my brain and my nick name in future . Love and light from Dollybird
I swear I wasn’t so stupid before I had the babies.
(formerly Antoinette )

By: Deni

Deni — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:47:10 +0000

Ali , I love your “Junk” penis poem. Mark, I agree 100% that it was Palin’s fault. Let’s send her the medical bills!. Sister Wolf and for Cub Wolf too, I’m sending healing thoughts!

By: David Duff

David Duff — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:50:47 +0000

Bloody hell, Mark, don’t tell me ‘Sis’ was shot from a helicopter!

By: Mark

Mark — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:44:06 +0000

I blame Sarah Palin for all this. I really do.

By: Jenny Dunville

Jenny Dunville — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:57:24 +0000

Sister,
I’m beaming you much strength & healing power. While I cannot be without your column, first & foremost you need to heal (Max too). So be selfish & patient, take good care of yourself & give a hug to your son.

By: Stella Mayfair

Stella Mayfair — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 08:14:04 +0000

oh no no no! that’s horrible! heal at the speed of light, sister wolf!

By: ali

ali — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 08:03:31 +0000

dear sister wolf.
A while ago you inspired a penis mania in me (by posting about the VW penis pendant.) The more I thought about and wrote blog entries about penises, the more I couldn’t stop thinking about them. So I finally wrote a poem about it today…and I hope it amuses you for 2 minutes.

Junk (first draft)
I am a woman obsessed by the rod:
Possessed by countless questions
About man’s pervasive penis relationship.

The salty dog is always god,
To me, a most mysterious meaty log.
a highly covetable instrument.

Today I researched names on the net:
The Firm Worm!
The Kerouwacker!
The Meat Maelstrom!

Boobs are just girls.
The Girls
Apples
Lady Pillows

I constantly grapple with the concept
Of having a “skin flute”

Yes. My womb can bare “Fruit”
And I can wear a pantsuit
I can even give my man “the boot”
Happiness is an available pursuit…

But don’t you wonder too?

What would you do with it?
Would you be proud of its size-
Or if it was little, despise it?

I haven’t decided.

…Do hands and feet really compare?
Do the smallest boys ceaselessly despair?

I once read in a title called,
“The Monthly Rag”
that some girls pack.

Pack what?

Heat?
Socks in their crotches?

My mind wandered.
Do they pack ideas and delusions
Or dildos or small potpourri pillows?

Are they proud of their static bulge?
The way a four year old boy is?

Once I was a ten year old girl
And once I grasped a baseball bat
To my pelvis, swiveling my hips
like a prepubescent blonde Elvis.

It was fun!
The attention garnered by the gun
Is not to be outdone.

In Tarot,
The masculine suit is “The Sword”
And the spiritual suit, “The Wand”
Combined, this makes man’s dick the fighting divine.

Mine to manipulate, but never to wield.
The Womyn say this must be appealed!

Let it be understood that
I’ll never (forcibly) kneel.
But I am relieved to be free
From the one eyed eel’s
Unpredictable pressures.

(Though if I weren’t,
Who even listens to a feminist’s lectures?)

By: Andra

Andra — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 00:01:38 +0000

One more and you’re for the knackers’ yard!
And furthermore, what about brought and bought? Not even the hallowed ABC newsreaders know the difference any more.
Poop!