I can’t remember how I first discovered Cashmere Shampoo, a product made by a company called The Laundress. I’ve gone through several bottles of it, though, because I love my cashmere sweaters and want them to last forever.
People who have their cashmere dry-cleaned are just losers who aren’t fit to wear fine Scottish cashmere. Let them wear crappy cashmere from China! Dry cleaning just leaves your cashmere stiff and smelling of chemicals. As the rest of us know, you should always hand-wash your cashmere, wrap it gently in a towel, lay if flat to dry on a new towel, and then scream at your family members if they move your sweater or sit on it.
The Cashmere Shampoo is not only gentle and made of the purest ingredients, it is scented with cedar, which repels moths. Using this product to hand wash your sweaters is a nice calming ritual, and I recommend it for a satisfying feeling of accomplishment.
I don’t want to know how many cashmere sweaters I have, since I’ve been hoarding them since I was 19. I have vintage sweaters from the ‘50s that are still in perfect condition! I have a long delicate cashmere dress by TSE that I will probably never wear, but it is the holy grail of pointless luxury. You can’t have enough cashmere, as long as you never pay full price.
However, even I have some boundaries. And when I went to The Laundress website to order a new bottle of shampoo, I saw that they now offer a Sweater Washing Service. You can send them your sweater, and for $25 each, they will hand wash it for you and then send it back.
Jesus Christ! Twenty five bucks?!?! Whoever uses this service must be the laziest person on earth, lazier even than me. So here is my announcement: I am now available to hand wash anyone’s cashmere sweater for only $20, plus I will include a personalized Ode to Your Sweater, which I will sign with a lipstick kiss, in the Red lipstick of your choice.*
*offer not valid where prohibited by law. Some restrictions may apply.