Here I am, modeling the fussy white shirt after a hard day limping around Nordstorm at The Grove. As you can see, it doesn’t really work. But I have to say that posing on my commode was a stroke of genius on my part. The lighting in my hallway is very flattering, and the commode will horrify that Crazy Muffin Woman if she dares to come poking around. I think it was the commode experience that somehow provoked her into dissing me. Take that, Crazy!

In other news, I managed to get two sales assistants at the M.A.C. counter into a mini-argument. I praised a beautiful young man on his spectacular eyebrows, and he referred me to a M.A.C. eyebrow pencil in “Stud.”   But another M.A.C person objected, and insisted that “Strut” would be a better choice for me.   It was a tense situation. The Strut woman made up my eyebrows, one in each color.   People stopped and stared at me. I stared back at them and said pleasantly “Which eyebrow makes me look less like an old witch?” They were all struck dumb by this question.

I ended up buying Strut, but of course It was a mistake, like the white shirt. I should have gone with Stud.