I’d like to work for a circus, but I’m not going to grow a beard.  I’d like to have thicker eyebrows and more armpit hair, even if it didn’t involve a circus job. More realistically, women my age should be busy signing up their best friends to care for their chin hair should they end up incapacitated in a nursing home.

Mariam probably knows that Alice B. Toklas was known for her luxuriant mustache.

I happen to love bearded ladies. I didn’t know they still existed, although I remember seeing a bearded lady in line at Toys R Us around thirty years ago. If only cell phones had been invented!

It’s easy to accept a woman’s mustache when she is Frida Kahlo. Other women might want to think twice. Even my Special Sister feels a personal bond with Frida, as she states so eloquently in her own blog: “I have always felt a strong connection to Frida Kahlo. She embraced her natural hairiness and even broke her pelvis…whadda coincidence! As much as a painter, I look to Frida as a style icon. “

Alas, I see no resemblance.

Many of the famous bearded Ladies who toured with circuses in the late 19th century look suspiciously like men wearing dresses. And that’s okay with me, because I love a man in a dress.

Ladies, are you ready to grow a beard, or will they bury you with a tweezer in your cold dead hands?

Remember when we all admired   her unibrow and moustache? Lourdes has evidently succumbed to either societal pressure or her mother’s obsession with beauty procedures. Here they are arriving in Malawi to purchase a new child.

Six months ago, Lourdes was still sporting the natural look.

Oh well. Lourdes is a beautiful girl, but it would have been nice for young women to have a new role model in the Frida Kahlo tradition. I just hope it was Lourdes who made the decision to go for the clean shaven look.

If your mom filled her face up with Sculptra and botox, you might have conflicted feelings about beauty and its importance. On the left, above, I see a woman who has drunk from Life’s Cup. On the right, I see a woman who has siphoned the Cup into her cheeks.

By this time tomorrow, Lourdes may have a new little sister. I’m sure it’s not really colonialism on Madonna’s part to enlarge her family by plucking children from Africa. She’s just trying to save Malawi, for god sake! As she explained to Vanity Fair, “I didn’t choose Malawi. Malawi chose me.”

I am apparently too hardened and jaded to feel bad for the crazy Mormon wives who want their children back. Like Pink Floyd says, “Leave those kids alone!” I am especially taken with the wife who led the tour of the “compound,” who resembles a young Frida Kahlo with her unibrow. Maybe the women can be de-programmed and make use of their pompadours to become rockabilly chicks?

Anyway, over here I found these two photos that suggest Marc Jacobs is thinking “Cult Wives” for fall 08.