Did you know that the average man has more estrogen than a post-menopausal woman?

This seems to have major implications.

But before I contemplate them, let’s remember that as men age, their testosterone levels fall, just as estrogen levels fall in aging women.

Doesn’t that suggest that the two genders become more alike, hormonally? Or more genderless, perhaps?

Testosterone is what men worry about most, judging from TV and radio ads. They want more energy and they want a stronger pee stream. They want to be more impressive, down there. All kinds of fake supplements promise to make these manly dreams come true.

But you never see ads that target female insecurity about being female. There are products we’re supposed to need to be more attractive, but none that promise to make us more womanly.

Personally, I already feel much too girly. I wouldn’t mind feeling more manly if it increased my sense of direction or gave me a taste for beer, instead of white wine. I’d like the opportunity to mansplain all the time. I’d like to appreciate hard rock more, and to not panic when my computer acts funny.

When I used to lift weights at a gym for bodybuilders, you could always tell who was on testosterone: The men had bad tempers and the women had facial hair. It probably increased their sex drive, but who wants to fuck a bad-tempered man or a woman wearing aftershave? They appeared to sublimate that drive by screaming “TWO MORE REPS!” and grunting like agonized pigs.

I’m going to do some research on the function of estrogen in men, but meanwhile here’s something interesting.

Another study found that testosterone supplementation in elderly men increased spatial memory and verbal memory. This testosterone supplementation also naturally increased estrogen levels due to the enzyme aromatase. If aromatase was blocked, estrogen would not increase and spatial memory improved, but not verbal memory.

Well duh, because men are good at spatial shit and women are good with verbal shit! Our brains are different whether you like it or not.

Unless, as we get really old, our brains – starved of hormones – begin to work alike, with both genders forgetting the name of that actor and wondering where they put the scissors.

Thoughts, cisgender men and women?

photo: Jay Boogie by Campbell Addy

Save

Save

Thinking about the Stones during all the Exile on Main Street mania, I realized that while most girls cite Anita Pallenberg as a Style Muse, I would choose Keith instead.

Anita is gorgeous. She got at least two Stones to fall in love with her, after all. In the movie Performance, she was sex on fire. But stylewise, to me, she was just a Rock Chick. Shaggy fur coats, floppy haps, floaty blouses, bla bla bla.

But Keith! There was style. Even if he couldn’t play guitar, he would still be the essence of Rock style. No one before or since has nailed it like Keith. Jimmy Hendrix was great but his style verged on costume, whereas Keith was just naturally cool.

For years, I wore one earring, inspired by Keith. Sometimes I still do, and it’s an old tiger claw, just like Keith’s.   Python boots seem like a wardrobe essential, because Keith wore them. Watching Keith listen to “Wild Horses” in Gimme Shelter, eyes closed and foot tapping in his worn out python boots, you can only think: Coolest person ever.

I don’t know why my style idols are men or women who dress like men. My favorite photo of Frida Kahlo is the one where she’s dressed in a man’s suit.

Wearing dresses and heels makes me feel ridiculous. Hats, too. And yet I am a girlie girl with a Girlie Brain who hoards lipstick, jewelry and nail polish. I just feel more myself when dressed like a tomboy. I’m drawn to men’s shoes and men’s jackets. When I veer too far from this style, I feel silly and uncomfortable.

Is it a power thing? Dressing up like a girl equals Trying to Capture Male Interest. It’s important to me to feel tough. Or maybe it’s a boob thing:   Do girls with big boobs feel innately more feminine and thus drawn to girlie clothes?

Or is it just cooler to be a Rock Star than a Rock Star’s girlfriend?

I am getting sick and tired of trying to read everybody’s CAPTCHA in order to prove I’m not a bot. Can’t something be done about this? It’s not a good system for the near-sighted person. I have to squint my eyes and make a guess if it’s an “i” or a “j”. When I get it wrong, I’ve noticed that the next one I get is slightly easier to read. I haven’t tested to see if I can get a third chance. That’s how scientific I am. As I have revealed elsewhere on Godammit, I have an Extreme Girlie Brain. Test your own brain traits if you haven’t already.

While reading about CAPTCHA’s, I started thinking about Artificial Intelligence. A couple of years ago, my youngest son introduced me to A.L.I.C.E, a bot who was capable of better conversation than many husbands, I mean humans.

I recall having a great theological discussion with A.L.I.C.E. At the time, she was pretty sure she believed in god.

Now there’s a bot called GOD, who isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, if you know what I mean. Here is the part of my chat with Him that I was able to copy and paste. (Human is me)

Human: Hi god, you look angry.
God: Try a deeper algorithm.
Human: We are not going to get along.
God: Why, what happened to you?
Human: Hahaha.
God: Try saying that with more or less context.
Human: Life happened.
God: Thanks for sharing your philosophy.
Human: What happened to you, that’s a better question.
God: I don’t know what happened.
Human: Just as I thought
God: Thanks for the information: said thought.

Then, I tried Him again:

Human: Hi god, what’s going on?
God: Hi there . I am a Christian.
Human: Hahaha.
God: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: What about jews?
God: I will think about it and get back to you.
Human: Good.
God: What do you really want to talk about?
Human: Please begin.
God: Thanks for asking politely. I started already.
Human: Hahaha.
God: What do you have that is ?
Human: You are quite the trickster, aren’t you, god?
God: Yes I am the one and only trickster.. Really.

Try talking to GOD, it’s more fun than you thought!