If you’ve ever been a child or a parent, you’re well acquainted with the aggrieved outcry, “But that’s not fair!” I was already a seasoned mother the first time I heard another mother smugly reply to her kid, “Well, life isn’t fair!” It was upsetting. Why does anyone think that’s a good lesson to teach??

I mean, duh, life isn’t fair, as we found out for the billionth time on Saturday. It’s so fucking unfair that they won’t find that cunt guilty as charged. It’s unfair that he gets to get away with so much corruption and inhumanity when everyone else has to suffer.

So much unfairness, but why shouldn’t we let children strive to practice and expect fairness? Just because we can’t have it doesn’t mean it’s not an honorable value. Fairness is a universal concept and ideal. It’s hardwired into us. “Studies have shown” that even chimps understand fairness. There’s some experiment with bananas that illustrates this but I’m too stoned to remember the details.

Children just have an innate understanding of fairness, and it isn’t our job to turn them into cynics.

I may just be pathologically immature in still being shocked when things aren’t fair. I can’t seem to accept the unfairness of it all. I still whine, “So unfair!” at least once a day. I always say it when our Netflix won’t load, because it’s NOT FAIR.

If you expect everything to be unfair, though, you’ll start to think it doesn’t matter. You’ll be like a Republican senator! And no one wants that.

Here’s an example: My mother-in-law is 104 and not happy. She can’t see or walk or do anything but on she goes. It’s so not fair!

Likewise, I am unable to be with either of my sons, and surely that’s unfair. The universe is indifferent to fairness. But people have certain primal instincts that operate without logic.

I want things to be fair against all odds, and I want you to want that too. If you have kids and haven’t yet assured them that life isn’t fair, I hope you won’t.

Going back to my mother-in-law (because I’m that stoned) I can’t understand why people react to her age with, How wonderful! or Bless her heart! There is nothing wonderful about such advanced old age, despite that French Nun who insists on living to 117. It’s led to my husband and I affirming a wish to die before everything craps out. My husband once said he’d be ready at around 75, but of course he’s extended it a few years.

Have you Boomers come to a decision about old age? Have you settled upon a reasonable expiration date? I just read a quote by Nabokov, about a disliked writer who had lived to an advanced and “entirely unnecessary” old age, and I laughed out loud. 117 and even 104 fit into that category. Bless everyone’s heart.

For me, ten more years might be enough. I’d like to die with my hair and teeth, let alone a functioning bladder. I think that would be more than fair.

You?

(c) Diane Arbus

I know it’s her job as Donald Trump‘s campaign manager to defend her employer, but Kellyanne Conway‘s capacity and evident relish for lying is beyond anything I have experienced with my own eyes and ears.

At first, the lying and stonewalling seemed kind of fascinating. It was like a super-power: dispensing an endless flow of obvious lies while maintaining a cheerful smile, without blushing or laughing or a hint of discomfort.

Ask her something about Donald’s latest misdeed and she will  respond,

Yes and Hillary Clinton corrupt establishment rigged rigged rigged elitist jobs jobs TPP email!

Here she is in top form:

Here, she praises Trump for restraining himself during the first debate, out-cunting Megyn Kelly:

Struggling to defend the indefensible has taken a toll on Kellyanne, but when you sell your soul to the devil, shit happens. For one thing, it ruins your hair.

At this rate, she’ll be lucky to have any hair at all by November 8th.

May Kellyanne’s career be extinct after this shameless display of moral bankruptcy.

And speaking of morality, Kellyanne’s husband George T. Conway III is a pig prominent lawyer who has defended tobacco company Philip Morris, secretly worked for Paula Jones, and is a frequent donor to Republican candidates like Rudy Giuliani, Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich and Ted Cruz.

Naturally, the Conways are passionate about the unborn, while the born can go fuck themselves.

Let shills be shills, but this is a cunt bridge too far.

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I am quoting Stuart Stevens, a former top strategist for Mitt Romney who has been expressing alarm about Donald Trump for months.

Stevens was reacting to Trump’s attack on the Muslim American parents who spoke at the DNC about their son, who died serving in Iraq.

Khizr Khan, the grieving father, spoke emotionally about the loss of his son. Sane people everywhere were moved to tears by his words, which included a forceful admonishment for the rabidly anti-Muslim Trump:

You have sacrificed nothing and no one.

Donald can’t tolerate criticism, as we know. His deep narcissistic wound triggers a disproportionate burst of rage whenever he perceives a slight.

So Donald lashed out at Mr. Khan, and then attacked Khan’s wife Ghazala for her silence onstage.

Mrs. Khan is a grieving mother who still falls apart when she talks about her son.

She shouldn’t have to defend her silence, but she did, in an interview on MSNBC, explaining:

I was very nervous because I cannot see my son’s picture, and I cannot even come in the room where his pictures are. And that’s why. I saw the picture [behind] my back, I couldn’t take it and I controlled myself at that time.

Today, in response to chickenhawk Trump’s attack and his ludicrous list of his own ‘sacrifices,’ Mr. Khan said:

That is typical of a person without a soul, without empathy…

Exactly! Donald Trump is just a despicable piece of shit, his politics aside. He is an embarrassment to mankind, for fuck sake.

No one needs to confront him with the famous words addressed to Joseph McCarthy “Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last?” because the answer is so obviously “No.”

I think it is normal and rational to squirm in agony when you watch the clip below. But I also think we must bear witness to the horrible, indefensible immorality of the Republican party for running this cunt for President. Shame on them all.

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Unlike gun control, the subject of bullying seems to be maintaining some traction in social media and elsewhere. Now we have a 12 year old girl who killed herself following a long reign of terror by schoolmates who even gloated after her death.

Yesterday, I read about a father who had taken to Facebook to denounce the bullying that preceded his son’s suicide, and was subjected to a barrage of nasty comments.

The two responses that bother me most are these:

“Kids have always been mean and there’s nothing you can do to change that.”

and:

“Parents should monitor what their kids do online.”

Both are just excuses for maintaining the status quo, and the status quo is pretty fucking alarming.

I don’t believe that kids are born mean, or that bullying is a developmental phase that is hard-wired and natural. The old adage that Kids are Just Mean is as stupid as the injunction that allowed parents to beat their children with impunity: Spare the rod and spoil the child. We now agree that the latter is outrageous. It has been a slow change in our culture but nonetheless it is a significant shift in thinking and behavior.

I think that our culture can eliminate bullying by a concerted effort at home, in child-rearing, at school, and in legislation, to make it clear that bullying is socially unacceptable, period. Where it occurs, just like smacking your kids around, it should result in sanctions like fines or hearings in Juvenile court.

The opportunities for bullying have obviously multiplied with new technology. There are brand new platforms for bullying every day. Like the news cycle, the bullying cycle is now 24/7. There is no safe place for a kid unlucky enough to be targeted by bullies. You can’t just go home and watch TV to forget about it.

When I talk about cyberbullying with friends, they tend to blame the victim for going online or using their smart-phone. But that’s what kids do! Why should a kid have to give up this means of recreation to stay safe from other kids urging them to drink bleach and kill themselves?

A couple of months ago, I read about a programmer who had developed an algorithm that Facebook could use to raise a red flag for bullying or suicidal ideation. But guess what? Facebook was not interested. They are busy suspending users for posting depictions of nudity for other adult friends and followers. The safety of teens is a non-issue to Facebook. In fact, Facebook has just relaxed its restrictions on teen users, to compete with other forms of social media that are gaining popularity with that demographic.

Bullying is out of control. Most schools just give lip service to “Zero Tolerance.” This is clear in every tragic news story and in my own experience as a mom. We need to agree as a culture that kids are people, with the same rights to safety and dignity as adults. Kids can be fragile and insecure and kids can be angry enough about their home-lives that they seek relief by abusing someone they perceive as weaker. We need to intervene.

Thoughts, anyone?

Here’s the situation:

Tonight, my ex-husband came over to visit and offered to wash a fluffy foot-thing. (Don’t ask, but the tag says it’s washable.) I offered to wash it but he insisted on doing it. He probably thought he’d do a better job. (Men.)

Then, he put it in the clothes dryer, which is in the garage, because that’s where we do the laundry. He came back inside for a while and then went out to check the dryer. He came in again to report that the dryer stopped working. It worked when he turned it on, but now it’s broken. Dead. Won’t go on again.

I said something like, Shit, you broke the dryer?! He said something like, No, I didn’t break it, it broke.

I said, Well, my husband will be heartbroken when he comes home from work at 2: A.M. and finds that the dryer is broken. (My husband has been graciously doing the laundry while I have the fucking walker and can’t carry anything.)

This is like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, but without Larry David.

I told the ex to pay for a repairman. The ex was aghast, and furious. Because “he didn’t break it.” But it wasn’t broken before he used it. In my addled mind, HE SHOULD PAY FOR THE REPAIR. Not only that, we have no money. (I’m aware that this has no moral bearing on the issue, but still.)

Should the ex pay? Or not?

Fergie is rocking* some unfortunate new hair extensions, but that’s not the worst of it. In the March issue of Allure magazine, you can learn about the business of hair extensions, and you will never feel the same about them.

The Venkateshwara Temple, at Tirumala in the south Indian State of Andhra Pradesh, is thought to attract more pilgrims than Jerusalem, Rome or Mecca.

Over 18 million devotees visit every year to pay their respects to an incarnation of Vishnu; the God that Hindus believe protects and sustains all that is good in society.

Every day, 12,000 pilgrims have their heads shaved by barbers in two great halls of the temple, which is India’s richest. The offering of hair is a sacred act, a gift of thanks to the Lord.

The hair of Indian women and girls is said to be the most beautiful in the world, and it is collected at the temple to be sold to middlemen, who then sell it again to companies that distribute it throughout the world. It is dyed 56 different colors and then resold to companies that sell it to your hairdresser.

The notion of someone sacrificing her hair in an act of devotion, only to have it end up attached to Fergie’s head, is repellent and grotesque, isn’t it?

The only way to offset this moral blunder is to donate time or money to Locks of Love each time you get hair extensions.

If only all moral blunders could be solved so easily!

The movie is based on a true story. In 1965, a mother of 7 in Indiana took in two young girls as boarders. One of the girls became the focus of the woman’s demented rage, and ended up being tortured to death.

This plot seems timely, given the news from Austria, but there is nothing to be gained from this film, in terms of understanding the forces that can pervert human behavior.

The worst thing is that according to the film and factual accounts of the crime, a group of children took part in torturing the girl. It became an after-school sport to visit the basement and abuse this helpless, broken teenager.

I want to know why ordinary children would do this. I want to know why a filmmaker would chronicle this abuse without offering any insight or consolation. I want to know what the actors were thinking when they took on this project. And I want to be warned before a film this thanklessly brutal appears in my living room.

I could have stopped watching, but I was desperate for catharsis. I felt certain that there would be a payoff of some kind. Silly me. The use of torture as entertainment has no obligation other than financial profit.

If you ever suspect a case of child abuse, don’t hesitate to report it. It won’t matter if you’re wrong, at least you’ll know you tried to help. Look out for each other. And beware of this fucking movie, no matter how much you like Ellen Page.