I’m having trouble with Being Present. I find that whatever I’m doing, I’m somewhere else in my head.

This isn’t good. It causes a lot of household problems, because I don’t remember what I started out to do. The only time I am fully engaged is when I’m reading a book. Even reading the New Yorker, I manage to think about something else, or just think about myself trying to take an interest in the article I’m not interested in.

I’m still   doing physical therapy for the broken hip, and today I noticed that while I was exercising my leg, I was thinking about my son’s elbow.

I want to be present, but I’m absent.

Is this due to old age, or all the drugs, or the result of the Internet destroying my attention span? How can I learn to be present without getting the tattoo-reminder?

If you’d rather think about Rumer Willis than my existential malaise, try watching her lesbian kiss from some TV show where she plays a lesbian (ha!) and looks just like her dad.

After suggestions that her cover photo on W magazine was photoshopped, Demi Moore has come forward to deny it. She has been very adamant that this is an un-retouched photo, even though her left hip is visibly out of line with her thigh.

Apparently, she has been blabbing about it on Twitter, where she and her husband never shut up for a minute.   She’s inisting that she’s “just thin.”

Remember a few weeks ago, when Demi said in an interview that she’ s never had plastic surgery?

Why, Demi, why? Is it a Kaballah thing to deny the obvious? Are you hiding the truth from poor Rumer just to torment her? Do you think we forgot about your boobs for god sake?

Demi Moore is the Ted Bundy of surgically enhanced celebrities.   She’s going to deny everything to the bitter end, even when there’s nothing left of her but a puddle of botox and a pile of hair extensions.

What is the point of Demi Moore, after all, except to represent an aging cougar with a young husband? If only she’d stayed with Bruce Willis, we would all be so much better off. Except for Bruce, of course.