It’s easy not to care about looking old when you’re not old.

Later, it’s just a constant struggle to accept the changes in your face, the face that in your mind is eternally 18 or 30 or whenever you liked it best.

Seeing Carine and Madonna look like women in their 50’s is such a comfort! Get old, you two!

I decided to see the difference between a face in repose and a face smiling.

I made the biggest smile my face could do, and voila! I’m genuinely old.

If   you have no expression, you can keep up the illusion of youthfulness.

I am unable to age gracefully because I’m too shallow and preoccupied with appearance. I want everyone to wrinkle up like a prune. The only procedure I would rule out if I were a millionaire is the lip enhancement, because nothing says tragedy like a duckface.

I am waiting patiently for Demi Moore’s face to fall. On the day it does, the drinks are on me!

How do feel you will handle getting old? If you are old, how hard is it for you to combat vanity?

I’m like watching the Kardashian girls on TV and it’s like so full of drama! Kourtney is like so mad at that douche who knocked her up and like Kim wants her to like face reality? And like Kourt’s baby is more important to her than like anything?

I haven’t seen this show in ages but I must admit it has a soothing effect on my brain. The two of them look more piggish than I remember and Kim’s lips seem ready to burst.

I like love reality TV and here’s why:   It’s like so sickening, but in the end, it’s like not your problem.

Why can’t I feel bad for poor Lindsay?

I think it’s the duck lips. They just make me mad. Who asked her to get these lips? She messed up her face out of sheer greed! She had nice lips, but were they enough for her? No.

If a jail sentence prevents her from starring in a movie about poor Linda Lovelace, so be it. Maybe she can even get sober.