Annual lists of new words are usually a treasure trove of portmanteau and tech slang, with something for everyone to screech “EW!” about. The American Dialect Society’s list for 2022 is rich in both, predominately youth culture slang that slipped right by me, like “rizz.” I  generally like to keep up, but not knowing what rizz means was actually a blessing in disguise. In fact, it’s such an annoying word  that I’m choosing to believe it doesn’t even exist (like “goblin mode”).

Getting back to The American Dialect Society, its word for 2022 is the suffix “-ussy” from “pussy”

(as in “bussy” = “boy pussy,” now humorously attached to many
words) also -ussification: the process of creating new blended words with the -ussy suffix.

Runners-up included “quiet quitting”, “nepo baby”, “Dark Brandon”, and BFFR.

Words and terms about gender issues have proliferated in the last year, and here it’s hard not to sound reactionary in response to how difficult they are to navigate. In 2018, Amherst College posted a document titled Common Language Guide, with a 40 page glossary of terms serving “a need to come to a common and shared understanding of language…around identity, privilege, oppression and inclusion.”

Uh-oh. Here’s how the guide defines heterosexuality:

“A term developed as diagnosis of the hyper-infatuation with a different sex, first used by sexologist Karl-Maria Kertbeny in 1868…. [It] is used today to denote the normalized dominant sexual identity.”

Hmph! Now I feel a little less-than, know what I mean? I was comfortable with being hetero but now I see I might need to apologize for it. The definition of femininity is more strident, so brace yourselves. It includes the subtle admonishment, “Performing femininity in a culturally established way is expected of people assigned female at birth.” In this view, femininity is fraudulent, a performance, unless you’re queer or trans.

The  guide warns against “homonormativity,” or

the ever-present phenomenon where members of the LGBTQ+ community subscribe to heteronormative approximations of intimate, romantic and sexual lives that are the product of white, neoliberal (capitalist), sexist, transmisogynistic and cissexist norms.

And that’s fine, up to a point. That point would be the inability to converse with other humans without stepping into a minefield of acronyms designed to recognize categories of “identity.” Yesterday, I encountered the term “persons with male bodies” for the first time. Keep it up, you guys (okay, not “guys, how about “comrades?) and life will be one big microaggression.

Apparently, the document has been removed from the college website but I feel enriched by learning the term transmisogynoir (“the marginalization of black trans women and trans feminine people that is inclusive of transphobia, racism, and misogyny, and how all of these intersect.”) Now that’s a wonderful portmanteau, not as good  as mansplaining but still music to the ear.

Just yesterday, I read the word “manfluencer” and laughed out loud. Adding man as a prefix, like mancave and manosphere, is always fun, but I hunger for more and better manonyms, like the one I made up to describe male sulking: “mannui” (pronounced, duh, män-wee). At the same time, I can’t stand terms with lady thrown in, like “ladyboner,” ladyparts, or even Lady Gaga. Words can have different effects on different people, but some are universally disliked (moist) or enjoyed (gossamer). Just recently, I’ve been especially sensitive to “lived experience.” It’s so, so awful.

Young people today are inventing words that infantalize, like lil, smol, feels, and adulting, which handily explains their entire stance. Good for them. I’m just glad I can still use dope and wack to signal my feels, in case they are interested. And I have my own list of words that I’m ready to banish for 2023. Here they are:

Yassss (a perennial scourge, like “journey”)
thicc
thirsty
fam
main character
if I’m honest
GOAT
check all the boxes
understood the assignment
pro tip
cringe
fire

But here’s something to feel good about: Compared to their older counterparts, Gen Z are more concerned about how they use slang in conversation. Nearly half (46%) of Gen Z Americans worry about using slang terms incorrectly, compared to 32% of Baby Boomers.

Love to see it.

As I’m always saying, words matter! Unless you excel at interpretive dance, use them with care. Or to quote Jules in Pulp Fiction: English, Motherfucker!

*disclosure: Some have expressed concern about my absence. I’m finding it hard to write, due to senility and existential malaise. So don’t worry, I’m still here. Sort of. xo

Yes, awful words are still awful, even in a pandemic. Let me put it this way: If I were being drawn and quartered, and someone said “Yaass queen!” I would flinch.

This year has brought a whole trove (or tranche, to use a horrible word that’s having a moment) of stupid words related to Covid 19. Should we bother including them? There are so many!

Pod, bubble, maskne, quarantini, zooming, super-spreader, herd immunity, and all the rest are hard to get away from, and unpleasant reminders of how our culture has devolved. What is your least favorite Covid-related word or phrase? Mine is “new normal.” There are so many that the Oxford English Dictionary, for the first time, declined to choose one for it’s New Word of the Year.

Let’s go with words and phrases that have reared their ugly heads in 2020 to make our miserable lives even more miserable.

Qanon
Proud Boys
“So” at the beginning of each sentence
Fire (meaning great)
Lived experience
Deeper Dive
Unpack
Cancel culture
Truth to power
Self-care
Karen
Tik-tok
Ask as a noun
Shattered norms
Thirst trap
Inflection point

The other day I heard a guy on the news say “Marxian” instead of Marxist. I also heard someone say “uncomfortability.” I objected but nobody cared. People on TV also keep saying stuff like “My wife and myself” or “Myself and my crew” because they must think myself sounds more intelligent than me. People trying to sound intelligent are just ridiculous, whereas people who say “anyways” are at least sincere.

As this fucking horrible year comes to an end, I am ready to announce my vote for most egregious of all new words: WAP. WAP is so tragic, I don’t know where to begin. A wet pussy is obviously a good thing. I mean, it’s better than a dry pussy. It’s a good thing to discuss between lovers. But it doesn’t belong in an anthem!

Snoop Dogg admitted that he was against WAP, explaining that it referred to a “jewel” that a woman should not devalue. I think he got some shit for that on Twitter. Cardi’s husband Whatshisname”pushed back” by saying something about empowering female sexuality. I’m sorry, no. Just as I don’t want a guy to sing about Big Hard Cocks, I don’t want to hear WAP. I wouldn’t want little kids asking about WAP, but that’s just me, i.e. Karen.

Weigh in with your own list of awful words! I want to see what I left out.

Someone just remarked to me that calling Mother Theresa ‘bad’ was only relative; on a scale of 1 to 10, was she as bad as Hitler, or Pol Pot?

So now, probably because I’m a little stoned, I’m trying to organize Bad People, which is harder than it sounds.

On the spectrum of Bad People, with Hitler being the Most Bad, who would be the Least Bad? I can’t even begin to figure out how to define the lowest rung of Badness.

So fuck that.

How about just creating a list of the top ten Worst People? That shouldn’t be too hard.

If we include everyone in history, we might not even get to Hitler, so we have to limit this to 20th and 21st Century, because on everyone’s list, Hitler is always number one. It’s a given. Hitler never gets old. Just look at your cable history channel or go to a book store.

So now we have Hitler and we need 9 more Worst People.

Here’s where I am:

hitler
dick cheney
bill cosby
roman polansky
manson
ted bundy
madonna
kissinger
mobutu
leni Riefenstahl

I’m too stoned to capitalize, and they’re not in order, obviously.

Is it wrong to include Roman Polanski? It took me years to admit he was bad, and I may have magnified his badness to make up for lost time.

Don’t argue about Madonna. She launched a million pole-dancers pretending to be singers. She can be number ten, how’s that?

Okay, now I need help.

Would it be easier to make it Top Twenty? Or can we agree on ten?

I have been struggling with inertia, feelings of hopelessness, and general apathy. Thanksgiving made me aware of my resistance to the whole idea of being thankful.

Why do we have to be thankful on demand? Why can’t we just wallow in bitterness and despair?

My Thanksgiving turned out to be a happy one, by the grace of friends who cook and play guitar. I even made a festive centerpiece. But three days later, I’m still coming across lists of Things To Be Thankful For. I just found one with a full 100 things that some idiot or group of idiots managed to compile.

Number 1 is :

Your health- because it’s one thing that you should never take for granted.

Really? I thought health was the thing you turn to when you can’t think of any other reason to be grateful, a last resort and kind of a bitter pill. “At least you’ve got your health.”

Number 4 is “scented candles”. Hahahaha! Jesus. In my world, that would come right after paved roads.

“Friends” come in at Number 15. Oh well.

Number 32 is “Free Shipping.” LOL!  Actually, free shipping is a good one, I’m going to make it number 10 in my personal hierarchy of gratitude.

Number 65 is:

A cup of really good coffee.

Clearly these philistines know nothing about coffee.

Number 85 = Hummus. Whereas “Art” is Number 91.

I have to admit this list gave me some good laughs, so I need to put “stupid lists” in my top ten. Let me change my mind about the Thankfulness thing and offer a list of my own. I hope it’s clear that I’m making all this up as I write, okay?

1. Love
2. Art
3. Music
4. Coffee
5. Chocolate
6. Dogs
7. ???
8. ???
9. Stupid lists
10. Free shipping.

Anyone want to share their own top ten? Or to fill in my seven and eight?

It might be a little early but let’s make our list of words we don’t want to hear in 2014.

Time online is asking readers to vote on a list of 15 annoying words or terms. “Selfie” is a must for any list of awful words, but what the hell is “FOMO?”  I only just learned YOLO!

I may be too old and out-of-it to know all the linguistic outrages of 2013 (‘At the end of the day’ and ‘Reach out’ are perennials) but so far I’m on board with these:

Selfie
Hashtag
Because + noun
Kimye
Farm-to-table
Lean in
Millenials
Optics
Game-changer
Cultural Appropriation
Celeb
Instagram

Okay, you can see I need help.  Suggestions?

I just tried to read an essay in the New York Times that cited the words “cellar door” as the most beautiful phrase in the English Language.   HUH? Normally I enjoy lists of “beautiful words” but this threw me. Cellar door doesn’t do anything for me, in sound or meaning. It actually makes me feel a little tense, since I automatically presume that something bad exists behind a cellar door, like a maniac or a dead animal.

I screwed around on google and found this list of “The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English.” Take a look! I was surprised by how many I disagree with. Usually lists of beautiful words are big on euphonious words like shimmer, iridescent,   and lullaby, but this list is all over the place.

It includes “plethora” which I hate, and “inglenook,” which I think is the name of a cheap wine, but I’m not sure.   I misread “fetching” as “felching,” which was a momentary shock that has ruined “fetching” for me, at least for tonight.

“Ineffable” is a great word, and so is “imbroglio.” I also like “pungent” and “woodwind” and “melancholy,” none of which made the top 100. On the other hand, it did include “penumbra” which is too reminiscent of “pudenda” for my comfort.

“Halcyon” is a lovely word that made the list, as one might expect. It would be beautiful even if it didn’t evoke a nice tranquilizer. I once told a friend that the drug Halcion made me think of people laying in the grass beside a sun-dappled lake. He replied, “They should have called it Seurat.” I nearly fell in love with him for that, but I was already in a relationship and he was a prick.

What words do you find beautiful? Feel free to list your own 100 if you love that many.

My friend Heidi challenged me to compile a list of 50 bands I’ve seen. I balked at first, thinking No way, I haven’t even seen 50 different bands. I’ve seen some bands 10 times, but you can only list each band one time.

I decided to try it, and it was murderously hard. At #37, I was already scraping the bottom of my memory bank.   My teenager came home and I complained about my list. He decided to start making his own list.   He was up to 50 in a couple of minutes. I finally got to 50, by remembering an obscure punk band I’d seen as an opening act. My son stopped at 80.

My husband came home and took the challenge, saying he’d just list the 50 most famous bands he’d seen. When I read his list, I realized that I’d forgotten to list Prince!!!! It was such a big deal at the time, and yet I’d completely forgotten it. Shit! I also forgot the Pretenders, Iron Maiden and Willie Nelson.

Take the challenge! It’s a great way to test your memory and in the process retrieve some forgotten moments. Or not, if your memory is as screwed as mine is.