I have been struggling with inertia, feelings of hopelessness, and general apathy. Thanksgiving made me aware of my resistance to the whole idea of being thankful.
Why do we have to be thankful on demand? Why can’t we just wallow in bitterness and despair?
My Thanksgiving turned out to be a happy one, by the grace of friends who cook and play guitar. I even made a festive centerpiece. But three days later, I’m still coming across lists of Things To Be Thankful For. I just found one with a full 100 things that some idiot or group of idiots managed to compile.
Number 1 is :
Your health- because it’s one thing that you should never take for granted.
Really? I thought health was the thing you turn to when you can’t think of any other reason to be grateful, a last resort and kind of a bitter pill. “At least you’ve got your health.”
Number 4 is “scented candles”. Hahahaha! Jesus. In my world, that would come right after paved roads.
“Friends” come in at Number 15. Oh well.
Number 32 is “Free Shipping.” LOL! Actually, free shipping is a good one, I’m going to make it number 10 in my personal hierarchy of gratitude.
Number 65 is:
A cup of really good coffee.
Clearly these philistines know nothing about coffee.
Number 85 = Hummus. Whereas “Art” is Number 91.
I have to admit this list gave me some good laughs, so I need to put “stupid lists” in my top ten. Let me change my mind about the Thankfulness thing and offer a list of my own. I hope it’s clear that I’m making all this up as I write, okay?
1. Love
2. Art
3. Music
4. Coffee
5. Chocolate
6. Dogs
7. ???
8. ???
9. Stupid lists
10. Free shipping.
Anyone want to share their own top ten? Or to fill in my seven and eight?
Hey, paved roads are pretty good. Much more useful than scented candles. And what about a shoutout to indoor plumbing? For not being a member of an ethnic group that’s currently being vilified by demagogues?
And what about marijuana? I think that belongs at #7.
Champagne, lilies, and a really comfortable bed all spring to mind. Oh, and oysters.
romeo – Pot, yep, starting smoking again last year and it has definitely taken the edge off.
Muscato – I can’t tell you how much I love my bed. I think about it often when I’m away from it. It’s like an unconditionally loving mother. I fucking love my bed!
No’s 1 to 10 inclusive:
An ice cold dry martini!
Peace and quiet
Art
Books
Art materials
Baths – would have to be up there. I live in a house with no heating and in Winter I have a bath every night to thaw myself out and now I’ve become very fond of making it a tad too hot and then just soaking in it, reading, drinking, smoking pot, talking on the phone, leaving the door open so I can chat to my husband as he cooks dinner.
Friends and love should be number one but I have survived without them before (many years ago I was in a kind of cult for 13 years – it was community but not friendship and I don’t think on reflection there was love, though they talked about it all the time) but I’m not sure if I could survive without peace and quiet and my art practice and constant stream of ideas and relating through books.
I agree wholeheartedly with indoor plumbing.
Wifi
Friends
Love
Cheese and red can coke
Dogs
Black clothes and shoes
Lip liner
Psychiatric meds
What an insane mix of things.
A few things:
Ativan, if I had any
Books
Eyesight, such as it is
Friends
Cats (mine, 2)
Blueberries
Chicago Symphony Orchestra
Memory
Properly working intestines
Comfy AND attractive shoes
Warmth
…and of course,
Sister Wolf
Oh I forgot…
Office Supplies
Emma – Can we hear more about the cult experience (if it’s not too painful)??
Kellie – No, this sounds like a very practical list, actually. Meds, shit yes.
Bevitron – The first four could cover it for me. All vitally important. I am losing eyesight and friends little by little, so I will need more Ativan.
i was wondering where you had got to.
And in no particular order:
Indoor plumbing is a good one, nothing worse than having to go to the loo outside.
nice cuppa tea.
cake
wood burner.
Dog
Save-mart
washing machine
alchohol
art
sewing
It’s a rock and roll lifestyle I lead.
rosie – Thank you for wondering where I was! This means so much to me. I will dedicate my next cup of tea to you (coming up in a few minutes)
I’m a little hurt that so far none of you ladies has mentioned ‘men’!
Music
TV
Sarcastic but kind-hearted friends
toilet paper
toilets
Mexican food (..which explains the necessity of the previous two..)
International flights to tropical places when there’s enough leg room
voracious, generous, enthusiastic blowjobs
women who burst into tears from awesome orgasms
women who able to orgasm more often than every February 29th
women who are able to apologize and admit they are wrong when they are wrong
Men who are smart enough to resist the urge to make a list like this
my mother’s potato salad: slightly mash one third of the potatoes after boiling, add 4 chopped hard-boiled eggs, a small handful of finely chopped red onions, a big dollop of mayonnaise, another dollop of Miracle whip, two spoonfuls of mustard, a bit of parsley.. to be served with home made chili con carne.. yes, you read right..
The ability to turn off the tv.
Kissing
Cats
Wine in a box
iPad
First class seat
Ogling good looking men
Flirting
Sleep
Barbecue
Tamales
Sister Wolf and followers
This blog and knowing that there are fellow curmudgeons out there. Very comforting.
Your post inspired me to see if anyone owns the domain http://www.christmascurmudgeon.com. I’m no Christian, but http://www.holidaycurmudgeon.com doesn’t have the necessary consonance. As far as I can tell, no one owns christmascurmudgeon! May have to get motivated.
I don’t have a list, but if I did, indoor plumbing would be on it, as would fresh air, and drinkable tap water. Scented candles would be on a list of annoying things, along with cologne and incense.
David Duff – Fine, men. I couldn’t survive without mine.
DJ – SLEEP, yes! thank you for including me, it makes me feel like a person who matters.
Suzanne – Thank you right back. Very much. Buy one of those url’s, they’re so cheap, it would be silly not to!
AK – My BFF gives me scented candles every year as a hostile joke, that’s how much we don’t like them.
Drinking wine while watching super trashy reality tv
Chocolate
The odd cigarette
A great night’s sleep
Pretty gardens
Big trees that are lit up at night
Air conditioning
Books and magazines
Coffee
Mangos at Christmas time (Australia)