Category Archives: irritants

Hookers, Sluts, Sex-Workers, Feminists or First Ladies?

Okay, this is a complicated story and I’m pretty stoned. But stick with me. There’s a model/actress named Emily Something who is mostly known for her large breasts. I almost wrote “big tits” but stopped myself. Anyway, she was at … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, irritants, News, Rants, Words | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Why Isn’t The Vetements Joke Over Yet?

First of all, Vetements is pronounced vet-MAHN. Look at a mirror while saying it. Do you feel embarrassed, or at least tainted? Good. If you don’t know about Vetements, you are free to go. Run along, and keep your innocence. … Continue reading

Posted in Fashion, irritants | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Minor Improvements For 2017

As passengers on the Titanic, we should brace ourselves for the iceberg, but there is still stuff we can do to take the edge off. Let’s think of the small ways we can make our doomed existence more tolerable in … Continue reading

Posted in irritants, News, Words | Tagged , , | 12 Comments

Boy Or Girl

If you’re wondering whether this is a boy or girl, how dare you! Why should it matter?! You are stuck in your binary thinking. Even wondering is a microagression. I’m not kidding. What’s your fucking problem? The whole idea of … Continue reading

Posted in Fashion, irritants | Tagged , , | 12 Comments

What’s Your Price For Sully?

Every time I see an ad for “Sully” I groan and announce that I wouldn’t see it for less than $500. Five hundred bucks is my customary price for a film that sounds truly awful, at least by my very … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, irritants | Tagged , | 13 Comments

The Lena Dunham Problem, Solved

If you’ve always felt uneasy about disliking Lena Dunham, today she has given you license to go ahead and find her repugnant. You don’t have to struggle with your looks-ism or whatever else was holding you back. She’s an annoying … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, irritants, Words | Tagged , | 14 Comments

Millennials Ruin Everything

On an excursion to downtown L.A., we came across this hipster outside a coffee house, reading Nausea. It was like seeing a panda in its own habitat, only better.  I know it looks posed, but I swear to god he … Continue reading

Posted in irritants, Words | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Weekend Hatefest

I’ll start with the word ‘pant’ in the picture above. Why can’t they use ‘pants’? The singular ‘pant’ is so grating, like ‘a red lip,’ which we all hate so robustly. I’m really struggling with existence. I’m looking for relief … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, irritants, Words | Tagged , | 37 Comments

The Good Kind Of Mansplaining

You know how when you’re watching TV and you can’t quite recognize that actor who looks familiar, or you don’t understand what just happened, or a character mumbles something and you didn’t catch it? So you ask you husband, “Who’s … Continue reading

Posted in irritants, Words | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

Looking For My Group

In my desperation for contact with kindred spirits, I joined Meetup.com with the idea of finding a social group in my community that I could join. You punch in your zip-code and you’re presented with a bunch of categories to … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, irritants | Tagged , , | 13 Comments