Tag Archives: online shopping

Did I Speak Too Soon?

Was I wrong about the Worst Thing you would ever see? Just look at this. This is what someone would do to your jacket if they really hated you. I don’t even know what you’d have to do to make … Continue reading

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The Wrongest Thing You Will Ever See

There are no words. Whoever Ronald Van Der Kemp is, he is out of his fucking mind. He wants $1,980 for these…..pants? Can you count the things wrong here? Net-a-Porter gives you some clues: Ronald Van Der Kemp’s pants take … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, Fashion | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Don’t Worry, We Still Have Denim

Until Donald Trump appoints a Commissioner of Denim to take it away from us, we still have denim to turn to for a spark of joy. This jacket by DSquared2 brings a whole forest fire of joy, with it’s thick … Continue reading

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Let’s Take A Denim Break

Sometimes we must seek relief wherever we can find it and tonight I offer denim. These ugly shorts are the worst possible way to spend $325 but go ahead, see if I care. Look at the rear view: Why not … Continue reading

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Behold The Patchwork Drop-Rise Lounge Pants: $1,500

I am double-posting this from Hideous Denim as a courtesy to you lazy oafs who might otherwise miss it. You need to keep up with advances in the denim community. You don’t want to be left behind. So, these denim … Continue reading

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Green Rihanna Creepers: A Love Story

If you live in the world of pop culture and fashion, you know all too well that the green suede Puma creepers by Rihanna are the new holy grail. And you’ve been anxiously awaiting May 26, when they were scheduled … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, Fashion, love | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Let’s Not Forget Shoes

It’s been quite a while since a pair of shoes stopped me in my tracks, so I’m feeling a real sense of occasion tonight. Will you just look at this fucking shoe? And Gucci managed to capture the horror by … Continue reading

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Is Your Pubic Hair Silky?

Three young women noticed a vacuum in the marketplace for pubic hair grooming products, and voila! They formed a company to right that wrong, called Fur. Because money. Wait, I’m so sorry, I meant to say, because why shouldn’t we … Continue reading

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Help A Sister Out

Okay so I bought this skirt online because it was reduced from a billion dollars to just a fraction of its original price, and because I loved its shimmery quality. In real life, it’s even more shimmery, the thinnest silk … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, Fashion | Tagged , , | 29 Comments

Disappointment #1577689864

I was absolutely thrilled when I first saw this little Handbag Raincoat at Shopbop. It’s such an obvious solution to the problem of shielding your nice handbag from the rain! Why didn’t anyone come up with this sooner?? Think of … Continue reading

Posted in Rants | Tagged , , | 18 Comments