Why Isn’t The Vetements Joke Over Yet?

First of all, Vetements is pronounced vet-MAHN. Look at a mirror while saying it. Do you feel embarrassed, or at least tainted? Good.

If you don’t know about Vetements, you are free to go. Run along, and keep your innocence.

Still here? Okay. Remember when you were amused and startled by the outlandishly oversized hoodies and jackets by the new brand that seemed to be mentioned everywhere? You noticed that it was the streetwear brand of all the cool it-people, even Rihanna. The silhouette was easy to spot: it was absurd, like that David Byrne jacket.

Then you saw the prices and the joke got better. The price to look absurd was astronomical, ensuring that only the coolest it-people could wear it and signify to each other that they were in on it. Ha Ha, we love looking stupid if it means regular people cant’s afford to!

Now there are a bunch of copy-cat brands flogging the same gigantic esthetic and they are pricey too, because, why not?

I called my husband over to look at this Vetements T shirt selling for $395.

It’s a collaboration with Hanes, which sells a 3-pack of white t shirts in size 4XL for $14.00.

He got that the t shirt was a stupid in-joke, but was not thrilled by my counter-joke of just using a marker to write STAFF on a regular T. Only Vetements prople would get the joke, he pointed out.

Well, I still like that idea. I’d get it! I may be too lazy to execute it, though. Meanwhile, Vetements has collaborated with Juicy Couture to make those velour sweats, only priced at a zillion dollars.

There is an intrinsic value in the avant garde. But once the point is made, we have to move on. When something becomes a parody of itself, the art aspect is over. Tell that to fans of Rick Owens, though. They’re still drooling over that black saggy funeral fashion he keeps churning out, and every single fashion person asked about their style has to name Rick Owens as one of their go-to designers. Especially in New York; it’s the law there to worship Rick Owens.

Here’s an up and coming brand, Martine Rose.

is the vetements joke over yetThis shirt is $635, but the rear-view is where the money went, in my opinion.

is the vetements joke over yetImagine walking into a room wearing this. How chic! You could pretend you’re Alice in Wonderland and you just swallowed the Drink-Me that shrunk you!

Conspicuous  Consumption is still in play, maybe more than ever before, even among those who think they’re disdaining the practice by wearing stupid overpriced street fashion.

The Huge Clothes joke is over, rich people! Get ready for the next trend, teeny tiny clothes that look like they’re about to burst. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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4 Responses to Why Isn’t The Vetements Joke Over Yet?

  1. Dj says:

    If diets don’t work or you have daddy issues just throw on one of these outfits! Dress up for grown ups…who the fuck are these designers? Why?

  2. At least the extra fabric justifies the additional cost. Sort of. Okay maybe not but my all time stupidest fashion award goes to the Moschino Looney Tunes Collaboration… anyone dumb enough to pay $700 for a t-shirt with a graphic that looks like something from the movie Space Jam that was available at WalMart circa 1996 hould be immediately sterilized to prevent further contamination of the gene pool. I’m still waiting for the collaboration between Moschino and Duck Dynasty but unfortunately, that twisted desire of mine remains unfulfilled.

  3. Hope says:

    Sister Wolf,thanks for giving me the best smile. Lately I have a few worries due to family member not doing well.

  4. Suspended says:

    Millennials are such regressive fucktards that they want to feel like they’re playing dress-up in their parents clothes. It’s just a new way to suck your thumb.

    That first pick: how many times is that girl going to fall on her lumpy, glum face before she realises that you need arms to break your fall? She’ll never find them in time, under all that excess cloth.

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