Hideous Clothes for Desperate Times, On Sale!

These Burnt Cuff pants say it all: “I am a greedy nutcase.” They bespeak the Trump era and it’s whole ruling ethos. They were $890 but are now marked down to just $312, by the brand Ottolinger, who “utilise lighters, packing tape and acid to deconstruct their garments, creating something beautiful from destruction.

What about this Rick Owens clutch bag? As long as all the shit you carry around in your handbag is shaped like an arrow or kebab skewer, this would be super convenient as well as eye-catching. Originally $1,815 but marked down to just $726. Use it as a weapon if worse comes to worse, and you know it will.

Refashioning folklore with the contemporary and an unlikely dash of 80s rock climbing, Chopova Lowena are redefining Bulgarian identity.

Whatever. This jacket is on sale for $945 and it features a removable hood, so it’s more versatile than it looks. You could pretend it came from an old David Bowie video or just turn up your nose and act like you’re an Influencer and you know what’s trending. The best part is that it’s 100% polyurethane and polyester, and you have to dry clean it.

You’re probably thinking, But where’s the denim??

I know I’ve been shirking my denim responsibilities due to Everything, but here’s a personal favorite, the hugely popular and iconic Ksenia Schnaider asymmetrical jeans:

As coveted as they are, according to Dazed, you can get them for only $430 at Shopbop. Just look at the rear view.

Who wouldn’t want to exit a room like this? People will wonder which of your legs is deformed, the thin one or the wide one!

Just be glad I’m here to distract you, people. They also serve who only stand and wait refers to bloggers, above all, I’m pretty sure.

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5 Responses to Hideous Clothes for Desperate Times, On Sale!

  1. Jane says:

    Thanks for the comic relief. I really needed it.

  2. Romeo says:


    “Given projected growth in consumption, without new anti-pollution policies oceans are expected by 2050 to contain more plastics than fish by weight, according to the New Plastics Economy report published by Ellen MacArthur Foundation in 2016.”


  3. Mark - E says:

    Those jeans.
    Thank you.

  4. JK says:

    Romeo does it again, except neglecting to put it

    “Minge Marks.”


    Which since some other body was President then most likely explains everything fashion calls for – except perhaps for the as yet then not too fashionabler coo L ‘curated.’

    Coo coo co ju

  5. Suspended says:

    Hahaha “Those jeans”, indeed.

    I love that the top half is apologising for the bottom half. “Sorry, I’m just a pale blue sweatshirt and had no control over this.”

    That shade of denim is one of my least likeable. My father has worn it for years.

    In order – Tragedy trousers. Pool cue case. Silver slabs of meat. “Sorry seems to be the only word.”

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