As if.

This skirt makes me want to kill myself.

But wait. Here is the rear view:

“A patchwork of True Religion denim forms this flowing, vintage-inspired maxi skirt. Slant hip pockets detail the front, and inky-blue pocket shadows darken the back.”

Putting aside the atrocity of the actual skirt, I’m not happy with “darken the back.” Can anyone correct this? Ruin the back? Spoil the back?

$332 at Shopbop

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40 Responses to As if.

  1. JJ says:

    How about “draw attention to the bum”?

  2. Kaitlyn says:

    It almost reminds me of one of those T-shirts with a print of another shirt(blouse, tuxedo, ect) on it. :/ Or you know something ugly I could find at the thrift store, and not buy.

  3. Elise Lin says:

    “completing the bumminess”

  4. Darque says:

    LMAO! This is too funny to be real. Seriously? When did Shopbop become Etsy? 332 bucks for the privilege of wearing a DIY “upcycled” skirt made of old Gap jeans. I cannot, I cannot.

    PS: Is that a bustle?

  5. Witch Moma says:

    @ 58 yrs. old, I’ve owned dozens of jean skirts & liked 1. I think it’s time for me to rule them out permanently. Frumpy, saggy, farm-wifey. Negatory.

  6. Andra says:

    Ha ha ha ha!
    I just can’t believe people buy this crap!

  7. gotta agree with Witch Moma ^

  8. carla fox says:

    Jesus H. This is what we did back in the ’70’s. Just add a string of “love beads” and a bikini top, and you’re good to go. Not.

  9. Slayer says:

    Ok but at least it doesn’t have those stupid pocket designs True Religion is famous for, I mean… saving grace? Lesser of two evil? Only hurts my eyes a little tiny bit less?

  10. Kellie says:

    This was almost the skirt Edina was wearing in the new ABFab episode. It scared me.
    the only people I know who wear floor length denim are in that weird religion where they dont ut their hair or wear makeup as it isnt what God wants.
    Or some such shit.

    and none of them could afford the price of this hideous joke.

  11. Kristin says:

    inky-blue pocket shadows continue the theme of atrocious taste to the back of the skirt.

  12. Sister Wolf says:

    Kristin – Hahahahahahahhaha! You’re hired.

  13. Marky says:

    inky-blue pocket shadows darken the back and tell the world my ass is stupid, too.

  14. Debra says:

    inky-blue pocket shadows are a ready target for your next game of darts.

  15. HelOnWheels says:

    Inky-blue pocket shadows project your “Emperor-has-no-clothes” gullibility.
    They should just say “Hey, just give us the $332 and we’ll send you a box of rarefied True Religion air. It’s barely more moronic than buying this skirt.” That thing is hideous! And Kellie’s right, it looks just like the skirt Edina wore in the new episode of “AbFab”. Ooooh, plagiarization! Or AbFab used True Religion’s clothing and made fun of them, which would be pretty great.

  16. Romeo says:

    Minge marks.

  17. Bonnie says:

    Um ok …. Maybe if it was the ’70’s and I was riding around in a van following the Dead. In which case I would probably make a bunch of these to sell to my fellow deadheads at $20 a pop.
    And why is “darkening the back” the best thing they could say about those god-awful pocket stains? Is having my butt darkened a plus?

  18. From the rear it looks like the wearer is shitting a completely different skirt. These people are insane.

  19. Marky says:

    True Religion jeans are criminal.

  20. Debbie says:


  21. Madame Fifi says:

    When I hear “darkening the back”, I think “incontinence”. Anything that darkens the back of one’s skirt/trousers can’t be good.

  22. annemarie says:

    “…while inky-blue pocket-shadows, a crooked seam and a light denim insert create the illusion of a primitive Maori mask on your rear.”

  23. Bevitron says:

    It DOES look like she’s crapping another skirt! A demented magician’s watch-me-pull-a-skirt-out-of-your-ass illusion?
    Mostly it looks like some of my ironing efforts.

    All I could think of was “Through an ass, darkly…”

  24. Karin says:

    As usual, I LOVE the opportunity to laugh my ass off in the morning! Thank you all. Hilarious.

  25. Jaimi says:

    Haha, I thought the same thing, Madame Fifi.

    Ugh, I was just thinking about how atrocious denim maxi skirts are the other day. I totally had one in the 90s, but it was all dark denim.

  26. Cricket9 says:

    I made a similar – only better – skirt in the late sixties, using my old jeans; no darkening of the back, tough, and no bustle. I have to say that I was about 16 at the time, and we really had nothing much to wear back then in Poland. The cost was maybe $2 and two hours of not-very-skilled labour.
    A brand called “True Religion” has to be insane anyway…

  27. Desiree says:

    All denim skirts are from Satan’s sweatshop of hell. They make all woman look like portable toilets. Ugh!!

  28. patni says:

    A patchwork of True Religion denim forms this flowing, vintage-inspired maxi skirt.
    Slant hip pockets detail the front, providing a boutiue-y spot to hide your five fingered diamonds and Louis vuitton keychains. The distressed appearances pays homage to your curation of the rich american tradition of the blue jean, but rises above its ethnic and urban tribal roots to fanciful-y laud the fashion mavens and icons of our times. The long length is the always on trend cutting edge maxi and will pair well with your billowing strands and the pop of your red lip..Yet it is short enough that your latest Guiseppe Zanotti art work can take the fore.

    The inky-blue pocket shadows darken the back, and give the whimsical appearance of a giant octopus pouring ink down your kardashion-esQ booty for a twisted take on the lady lump.

    The tone on tone blue of the skirt center gives the illusion of a fecal betrayal, and embellished anal sans poo being the usual depiction this brings a fresh modern take on the crisp insanely earth shattering bowel movement.

    Ok I lost it at the end and am now going to throw up a lot.

  29. patni says:

    crap i should have proof read that, but i was afraid it would make me ill.

  30. Juri says:

    This skirt (?) is a painful reminder of the unaddressed problem of drunken/stoned steamstresses and the implications of their work. The model may appear to be producing 100 meters of light blue denim out of his/her poophole but the illusion is not enough to distract an attentive viewer from his/her big hands, hideous sandals and tragically flat butt.

  31. Rosie says:

    All that is missing from this ridiculous skirt is Angelina’s left leg.

  32. Rosie says:

    …wait, it was her right leg. Shit. Either way, can somebody please photoshop it onto this skirt already.

  33. Stephanie says:

    Hilariosly hideous!

  34. That skirt looks like I made it.

  35. Reminds me of a shorter denim skirt I made from a pair of jeans when I was a teenager, which also looked crap but at least I didn’t pay for it.

  36. Marla says:

    One year for Hallowe’en, I made my daughter a skirt like this so she could dress up as a hippie. So funny.

  37. Becky says:

    this skirt is offensive.

  38. kt says:

    This made me laugh out loud. It’s beyond any comprehension. Waiting for the Man Repeller girl to jump on this. I’m curious; what are your thoughts on her, anyhow?

  39. Mary Ann Williamson says:

    This has been DONE before! When I was in high school..all the rage with different ugly fabrics in the middle.

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