Tag Archives: hideous boots

These Boots Are Made For _______?

The apocalypse? A bonfire? Fuck! Just like you, I’m filled with dread about everything but it would be wrong to overlook these boots. I mean, Jesus Christ. They are Hawaiian Printed Ankle Half Cowboy Boots! How can this even be?! … Continue reading

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Why Are They Torturing Me? Part 1

Sometimes I go looking for trouble but other times it assaults me when I’m doing what I call Minding My Own Business. These fucking boots are in the second category. I was scrolling through the new arrivals at farfetch.com when … Continue reading

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Bootie Extravaganza F/W 20017

If you’re a Bootie Aficionado™, and who isn’t, this is the season you’ve been waiting for. For every time you’ve wondered why no one made booties with mink pom-poms or a thousand buckles, your prayers have been answered, with interest. … Continue reading

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Why Did God Allow These Boots?

Just kidding, there is no god! But still, wtf with this “boot” by Dsquared2?  The longer you look, the more it doesn’t make sense. DSQUARED2 incorporates rustic aesthetics with luxurious fabrics and embellishments. The Bou Bou biker ankle boots feature … Continue reading

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Oh Hell No

What the fucking fuck?! This is one of those times I can’t even begin to can’t even. Cowboys? Bondage? Turducken? What’s going on here? I want my mommy! TOM FORD’s boots grounded the debut look on the label’s Fall ’16 … Continue reading

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Fuck You, Redneck Boot Sandals

I was so touched when three separate people sent me links to these stupid cowboy boot thongs. I thought, “Aww, how lovely, when people see grotesque shoes, they think of me!” But when I read the text, I learned that … Continue reading

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Hideous Footwear Alert

Can you believe how ugly these are? I really am almost speechless. It would be like shoving your feet into dead animal carcasses and expecting everyone to admire you for it. Why the silver studded ’embellishment?’ Is it supposed to … Continue reading

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Very Special Boots

  Look at these stunning over-the-knee boots made of patchwork fur by the always sexy and repellent Tom Ford. “Purple tone-on-tone dyed astrakhan (Afghan origin) and dyed calf hair (New Zealand origin.)”  Here’s a close up:   If you’re wondering … Continue reading

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Is This a Tribute?

This typically ugly “hiker wedge bootie” by Jeffrey Campbell is called Dammit. I have to wonder if it’s their way of rewarding me for tirelessly spreading the joy of the Jeffrey Campbell aesthetic around the world. However! If   this piece … Continue reading

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Finally!

At last we can go hiking with the assurance of a twisted ankle. Thanks Jeff!

Posted in Fashion | Tagged , | 12 Comments