Oh Hell No

oh hell no

What the fucking fuck?!

This is one of those times I can’t even begin to can’t even.

Cowboys? Bondage? Turducken? What’s going on here? I want my mommy!

TOM FORD’s boots grounded the debut look on the label’s Fall ’16 runway. Made from supple leather with a stretchy sock-like upper, they have a trio of tonal-brown and black buckled straps and are set on a sleek, sculptural heel. Team yours with midi skirts and cropped tailoring.

Oh please. At $2,450, I could only team them with a lobotomy.

oh hell noIs Tom Ford insane?

Who can finish this sentence?

These Tom Ford boots are designed for _________________________.

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13 Responses to Oh Hell No

  1. Gina says:

    Melania Trump’s steampunk Halloween outfit.

  2. Suspended says:

    These shoes are a tasteless rip-off of Alexander McQueen first ever shoe collection. Thankfully McQueen’s only had one strap that ran around the dropped heel and they weren’t a weird length.

    Ford has lost the plot. When he was at YSL we were given the luxury of great romance and seductive femininity. It was sublime. Now all he gives us is straight up hooker but for even higher price points. I suppose the aesthetic suits his hideously synthetic range of fragrances.

    Anyway, These Tom Ford boots are designed for Yugoslavian whores who like getting their pussies grabbed.

  3. Stephanie says:

    And there’s a zipper, because?

  4. Romeo says:

    I don’t hate these, especially after those last ones you showed us. Also while in the service I was taught to always have a belt handy in case you need to use it as a tourniquet so these shoes could save like a dozen lives per pair.

  5. Marky says:

    These boots have ruined fashion for me.

    Off to the Gap to buy chinos and navy blue polo shirts.

    Thanks, Tom Ford!

  6. Miranda Mitsouko says:

    I thought it was a belt ad(!) Maybe I’m too stoned…

  7. Suspended says:

    Stephanie – because stretch leather doesn’t really stretch very much. My wife has a pair of stretch leather boots and you should see the funny positions we’ve found ourselves in just trying to get them on.

  8. Bevitron says:

    ….the Carry All Your Belongings On Your Feet Day parade

  9. Suspended says:

    Janet Jackson should wear these. They’d go great with her Jackson-ness and her pregnancy.

  10. Dj says:

    The criminally insane.

  11. Miha says:

    when the nurse has stolen your shitting-bed-pan in the infirmary again and you need Plan B

  12. jody says:

    omg, too funny, the writing not the boots, the boots are insane

  13. Emma says:

    Jesus! This post should come with one of those slide over if you dare covers on it. My eyes. Christ almighty. Strewth.

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