Top Ten Worst People

hitler number one

Someone just remarked to me that calling Mother Theresa ‘bad’ was only relative; on a scale of 1 to 10, was she as bad as Hitler, or Pol Pot?

So now, probably because I’m a little stoned, I’m trying to organize Bad People, which is harder than it sounds.

On the spectrum of Bad People, with Hitler being the Most Bad, who would be the Least Bad? I can’t even begin to figure out how to define the lowest rung of Badness.

So fuck that.

How about just creating a list of the top ten Worst People? That shouldn’t be too hard.

If we include everyone in history, we might not even get to Hitler, so we have to limit this to 20th and 21st Century, because on everyone’s list, Hitler is always number one. It’s a given. Hitler never gets old. Just look at your cable history channel or go to a book store.

So now we have Hitler and we need 9 more Worst People.

Here’s where I am:

hitler
dick cheney
bill cosby
roman polansky
manson
ted bundy
madonna
kissinger
mobutu
leni Riefenstahl

I’m too stoned to capitalize, and they’re not in order, obviously.

Is it wrong to include Roman Polanski? It took me years to admit he was bad, and I may have magnified his badness to make up for lost time.

Don’t argue about Madonna. She launched a million pole-dancers pretending to be singers. She can be number ten, how’s that?

Okay, now I need help.

Would it be easier to make it Top Twenty? Or can we agree on ten?

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19 Responses to Top Ten Worst People

  1. B the Cow says:

    I’d like to add, not in any order, Reagan, Stalin, the Bushes (count as 1), Idi Amin, Enver Pasha, Chiang Kai-shek, Jean Kambanda (think Rwanda) I’m stopping. This world sucks when I think of all the horrible stuff. Oye! Are we doomed to repeat this shite over and over and over?

    We need more . . . good stuff. A list of really cool people who helped the most. And for us to add our names to that list!

  2. Ali says:

    my mom.

    :Djk

  3. David Duff says:

    Mao Zedong makes Hitler look like dilettante. And ‘good ol’ Uncle Joe’ Stalin out did Hitler in the murder stakes before the war even started!

  4. David Duff says:

    Oh my Gaaaaaard! as you say ‘over there’, that creepy coincidence-thingie has struck again. No sooner had typed my comment above than I stumbled across an article in The New Criterian. These quotes sum it up:

    “By comparison, conservative estimates of executions under Lenin and Stalin—say, twenty million from 1917 to 1953—yield an average of over ten thousand per week.”

    “The volume’s scholars estimate twenty million deaths in the ussr, sixty-five million in China, two million each in Cambodia and North Korea”.

    The whole essay is worth reading but I recommend a large, very large, glass of Scotland’s finest close to hand!

    http://www.newcriterion.com/articles.cfm/The-house-is-on-fire–8466

  5. Suspended says:

    There are definitely worse people than Hitler. People with larger genocides attributed to their period of rule.

    Roman Polanski should stay. People who prey on children are among the most vile types. Perhaps we should make some room for Terry Richardson.

    Stalin, Lenin, Dunham? 😉

  6. Muscato says:

    I think we’re going to need to break it out into subcategories – politics, pop culture, etc.; probably even more detailed than that. Maybe end up with one of those sports-style diagrams that let you figure out who’s going to make it through the finals. I have to believe that Madonna would at least get to the semis.

  7. Bucks says:

    I’m just gonna trust you on this. When have you ever been wrong?! I would add David Eckstrom, but he’s only famous to people who worked for him. Can we move Madonna from ten to two?

  8. Romeo says:

    This is great because now everyone can argue over criteria for what’s evil and what’s just mental illness and should serial killers be on the same list as dictators. Why don’t we just tell God he’s a cunt for shoving us all down here with these awful motherfuckers, most of which can’t even spell or punctuate?

  9. Romeo says:

    Also: how the fuck is Enya not on the list?

  10. Dana says:

    Pol pot

  11. Bevitron says:

    Aleister Crowley used to call himself the worst person in the world but I think he just ate shit and tried to conjure up the devil. I shouldn’t have even mentioned him.

    Yeah, can we put the mad fuckers on the list with the tyrants? Do those inflicting pain and suffering on a smaller scale belong on a list with the perpetrators of massive and systematic genocide? Can I put Kenny G on the list?

    Anyway, a few suggestions…

    Andrei Chikatilo
    Mengele
    Group effort: US Supreme Court, 1896 (Plessy vs Ferguson)
    Leopold II (Belgium)

  12. Sister Wolf says:

    B the Cow – Yes, all the dictators are so evil and awful. So were many of their wives, like Elena Ceau?escu. So I thought we’d just use Hitler to represent that category.

    Ali – HAHAHAHHA, I was tempted to stick my father in there!!!!!

    David Duff – Yep, Stalin is a winner on numbers. I will read that article, thanks!

    Suspended – Yep, Terry Richardson, but what about Woody Allen for seducing his step-daughter? We probably need a list just for celebrity pederasts and rapists.

    Muscato – YES!! Sting too, then!

    Bucks – Hahahahaha, thank you!

    and we all forgot MARK ZUCKERBERG! Are we crazy???

    Romeo – “God only give you what you can handle.”

    Dana – Yeah, he deserves recognition.

    Bevitron – All good choices. Plus that Austrian guy who kept his daughter in the basement and had children with her. Kenny G, sure. Bruce Springsteen too.

  13. Dj says:

    Check, check and check! Stalin was truly a paranoid psychopath…”let’s see, first lets get the Poor schmucks who work for the poor schmucks. Then the schmucks. Then all the people born before the czar was killed, then all the doctors. That’s a good start..”
    Can I add wildlife poachers as a group?

  14. Mary Liz says:

    At least Hitler killed himself, his underground barracks are now a parking lot, and Germany has atoned and atoned, now accepting many more refugees than the US. Stalin’s repercussions go on and on and on…

  15. Suspended says:

    Oh yes, Woody Allen, I was once in a cinema where all the seat were sponsored by actors, small brass plate with name. I refused to sit on the ‘Woody Allen’ seat and had to move. It just seemed soiled. I’d put him before Richardson and Polansky on the list. He’s the Godfather of inappropriate touching.

  16. Debbie says:

    Sister! Donald Trump!!

  17. Debbie says:

    … and Ann Coulter. She needs to die.

  18. jody says:

    omg, this is amazing….i never thought about it and there are so many good suggestions from your readers here, and the suggestion to organize the lists is a good one. But Enya, I’d need more info on her atrocities to include her.

  19. Jen says:

    Woody Allen

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