How does the rest of it go? Oh, never mind. How about this instead: In a letter to her followers, trying to clarify her reason for quitting, Mrs. Palin explained “It’s about country.”

Sheeit Negro! That’s all you had to say!

Not that it makes any sense. Here’s her letter, if you want to bother with it. It’s more of the same incoherent whining. “It’s about country” reminds me of Donna Karan saying “It’s about comfort.” I just don’t like sentences that begin with “It’s about.”   But at least Donna Karan has given us some   good fashion, which you cannot say of Mrs. Palin unless you live in a trailer park.

One of Mrs. Palin’s stated reasons for quitting her job is that people have been mean to Trig. I didn’t give it another thought until I read this statement given to CNN by Palin’s faithfully deranged spokesperson Meghan Stapleton. Brace yourself.

“Recently we learned of a malicious desecration of a photo of the Governor and baby Trig that has become an iconic representation of a mother’s love for a special needs child. The mere idea of someone doctoring the photo of a special needs baby is appalling.”

Oooh, you can doctor a picture of a regular baby, but not a special needs baby. Good to know! Here’s the desecration, posted by Alaskan activist Celtic Diva.

The face superimposed on the baby is Eddie Burke, a talk-show host who supports Mrs. P.

This photo was so horrible, so mean, so un-American, that Stapleton wanted President Obama to intervene. She went on to say:

“Babies and children are off limits. It is past time to restore decency in politics and real tolerance for all Americans. The Obama Administration sets the moral compass for its party. We ask that special needs children be loved, respected and accepted and that this type of degeneracy be condemned.”

Wow! It’s degeneracy! I thought it was just photoshopping.

Now that Mrs. P is threatening to sue the internet for spreading rumors about her reasons for quitting,   I can only hope she finds out how many times I’ve called her a crazy bitch and a stupid cunt. A nice lawsuit would direct more traffic here, and then maybe I could designs some shoes for Urban Outfitter or somehow get enough money to pay my car registration bill!

Help me out Mrs. Palin, you fucking numskull!

It stands to reason that a fucking moron with no facility for the English language would be offered several million dollars to write a book.

Robert Barnett, the attorney who brokered the deal with HarperCollins, is also quite the linguist. He says: “Every word of the book will be her words.”   He certainly seems qualified to helps her, doesn’t him?

Ah, Mrs. P. Just when I’ve decided it’s time for me to write a book, you go and piss me off again.   I know you have more of a story to tell, but still, you are incapable of telling it.   Also too, you will just use all that money to advance your awful agenda. Neiman Marcus, look out!

Will the book be a best seller? Does Todd Palin shit in the woods? It will be massive. We will see her face on every TV screen, once again, and in our dreams. There will be no escape.

Some blogger in their pajamas in their parents’ basement will have to calculate how much money she gets paid per lie. I’m really creeping myself out here.

I wanted to call my life story “Ordeal,” but Linda Lovelace stole that title years ago. What will Mrs. P call her memoir? We should start working on this, in case she asks for suggestions!   Let’s listen to her discuss her exciting project:

“Being a voracious reader, I read a lot today and have read a lot growing up. And having that journalism degree, all of that, will be a great assistance for me in writing this book, talking about the challenges and the joys, balancing the work and parenting, and, in my case, work means running the state.“

“I’ve read a variety of books, and that helps shape my opinions and my views.“

Well, I’m sold.

]]> https://godammit.com/mrs-ps-book-deal/feed/ 14 1960 https://godammit.com/a-word-from-sarah-palin/ https://godammit.com/a-word-from-sarah-palin/#comments Sun, 19 Apr 2009 07:59:38 +0000 http://www.godammit.com/?p=1826 Continue reading →]]>

Speaking at a Right to Life banquet on Thursday night, Mrs P said she was energized about a lot of topics, including why more people should refuse federal stimulus dollars as she did.

Palin said, “We have legislators all around the country who have resolved to kind of go around their governors, that’s happening in my state, and accept that money anyways.”

(I LOVE a woman who says “anyways,” don’t you?)

I know everyone has better things to do than to watch the Tyra Banks show, so let me bring you up to date:

Levi Johnston is totally screwed.

Bristol won’t let him see their baby, because she hates Levi’s sister. This, according to the sister, Mercede, a worn-out backwoods prom queen-gone-bad type who has Levi’s name prominently tattooed around her wrist. Uh-oh.

Levi’s mom, Sherry, is not at liberty to talk about her arrest for drug dealing ( “there is a lot of different things that has twists to it,”   she explains ) but she wants to see her grandbaby! That mean ol’ Mrs. Palin thinks that Levi and his family are White Trash. The nerve of her!

Levi is thinking he’ll have to sue for custody of baby Tripp. Meanwhile, Mrs. Palin’s sister-in-law just got arrested for burglary.

I now have a bad feeling that Trig is Levi’s baby with Mercede. Don’t pretend you doubt they’ve slept together, either. You know it in your bones.

Let us not throw the first stone, though!   Who among us, et cetera. Apparently, The Testament of Levi is an Apocalyptic Text, concerning arrogance.   Mrs. Palin should have read it before she set her sights on the White House.

Oh god, President Obama made a joke comparing his bowling ineptitude to the Special Olympics. Big deal! Now we have to hear everyone talking shit about it, not only people like Mrs. Palin but normal people, too!

This sanctimonious PC shit has gone too far. Disabled, challenged, whatever, but we need to be allowed to have a sense of humor! Mr. Obama was mocking himself, as his tone clearly indicated. People who compete in the Special Olympics can watch the interview and decide whether to feel insulted. Everyone else should just shut up.

There are so many things to get mad about, why must people always focus on the wrong things? Every time I’m near a TV, I hear someone yelling about AIG and executive bonuses. It’s caused an uproar unlike anything I’ve seen in years.

Big fucking deal about the bonuses, what about the fact that we’ve destroyed Iraq and caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people FOR NO REASON?! Where was all this righteous anger during the last seven years?!

Here’s something you can get mad about instead. According to the Associated Press, this man is accused of having sex with a dog and a horse.

I don’t like his expression, and I don’t like his do-it-yourself haircut. But I suspect this story is a hoax and here’s why: ” A 13-year-old girl said she saw Coppes with her Anatolian shepherd. Coppes is also charged with abusing the girl’s small Palomino horse.” The words Anatolian and Palomino are the tip-off, right? If it is a hoax, you heard it here first!

And going back to Mrs Palin, as one does, let us ponder this: Alaska is only now considering whether to make bestiality a crime. Good call, Alaska! While you’re at it, remember that aerial hunting isn’t nice either.

No one should be surprised that a guilty verdict means nothing to Mrs. P or her supporters. But it’s still disturbing to hear her express pleasure at being cleared of “any legal wrongdoing.” Does she deliberately use the word “legal” to distinguish that sort of wrongdoing from “ethical” wrongdoing? Is she a genius with words, when all along we’ve been calling her a moron? We will need to ask George Orwell to get the answer.

However, not only does she call guilty innocent, in this phone interview with reporters, she calls Troopergate “Tasergate.” A clever attempt to refocus attention to Trooper Wooten, the victim of her vendetta, who is accused of tasering his own son. But guess what, Mrs. Palin, Wooten’s son subsequently chose to live with his father after a custody dispute! Nice try, but flagrant foul, as they say in basketball.

If you read the report, you will find that Todd Palin had his own perch in his wife’s office, a conference table where he sat all day making threatening phone-calls on behalf of the deranged Missus. I thought the First Dude was supposed to be a house-husband?? Maybe this explains why he never holds that poor baby.   The best response to this shit is a story over here, which ends on this note:

“Elect these nutbars, and Todd Palin will be renditioning people who cut him off in traffic.”

Pap Smear, we must crank up our efforts. We must challenge Palin’s “verbage” and not allow any more nonsense to come out of her one-lipped mouth without calling her on it.