Mrs. P’s Book Deal

It stands to reason that a fucking moron with no facility for the English language would be offered several million dollars to write a book.

Robert Barnett, the attorney who brokered the deal with HarperCollins, is also quite the linguist. He says: “Every word of the book will be her words.”   He certainly seems qualified to helps her, doesn’t him?

Ah, Mrs. P. Just when I’ve decided it’s time for me to write a book, you go and piss me off again.   I know you have more of a story to tell, but still, you are incapable of telling it.   Also too, you will just use all that money to advance your awful agenda. Neiman Marcus, look out!

Will the book be a best seller? Does Todd Palin shit in the woods? It will be massive. We will see her face on every TV screen, once again, and in our dreams. There will be no escape.

Some blogger in their pajamas in their parents’ basement will have to calculate how much money she gets paid per lie. I’m really creeping myself out here.

I wanted to call my life story “Ordeal,” but Linda Lovelace stole that title years ago. What will Mrs. P call her memoir? We should start working on this, in case she asks for suggestions!   Let’s listen to her discuss her exciting project:

Being a voracious reader, I read a lot today and have read a lot growing up. And having that journalism degree, all of that, will be a great assistance for me in writing this book, talking about the challenges and the joys, balancing the work and parenting, and, in my case, work means running the state.

I’ve read a variety of books, and that helps shape my opinions and my views.

Well, I’m sold.

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14 Responses to Mrs. P’s Book Deal

  1. honeypants says:

    Well you know I’m already seeing her in my dreams… Thanks for the compelling quote there. Wow, I’d almost forgotten how atrociously she speaks. I really hope they don’t have a ghostwriter for her. I want this to be 100 percent Palin. Then, I want her to do the audiobook herself. I’ve been listening to audiobooks lately, and I can only dream of what a treat a Palin-read memoir would be.

    I’m trying to think of a title. If I do, I’ll be back with it later.

  2. Danielle says:

    Just watch she’s writing a parenting guide.

  3. Suebob says:

    Well, you can say this: no one has ever loved the gerund more than Sarah Palin.

  4. Ann says:

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but I do believe “voracious reader” is among your least favorite sayings.

    Wouldn’t it rule if Chuck P wrote the foreward?

  5. Aaaaaahhhh! Make it stop!

  6. OMGGMAB says:

    I’ll bet she can name the titles of the books she has read about as readily as any of the magazines she could name in the Katie Couric interview. And I wonder if her book will contain a chapter on the real story of Trig’s existence. Oh what am I thinking, of course there will be embellishment on the “wild ride!” It will include some stop-overs in France and Singapore for souvenirs all the while leaking amniotic fluid and “not really being in labor.” This is the person that many American’s voted to put into one of the highest offices in US Government and are the same hilljacks who will “voraciously read” her trite piece of fiction. Meanwhile, I’ll continue to excuse myself to vomit whenever I see her on the tube talking like a blathering idiot in yet another interview.

  7. Jill says:

    Mother Moose

  8. crocodilian says:

    A Book to Nowhere?

  9. Andra says:

    Sorry to change the subject but have you seen the photo of Cher performing in Las Vegas?
    Am I wrong to think this woman really should stop looking like this or at least stay home if she must look like this?
    I am her age and I look pretty good but I do not look like that… and I do not want to look like that, thank you.

  10. HelOnWheels says:

    *clapping in eager anticipation*
    I’ll never be cold again!! Thank you, Mrs. P! As soon as Borders puts your books in the “Buy None, Get All Free” discount bin I will have fuel for my fireplace for ever and ever!! And I will chant and “salute” your opinions (with my middle finger) as they go up the chimney. There is no better way to honor your insult to the written word than by igniting it, reminding me that’s exactly what you wanted to do with certain books in the Wasilla public library. (However, I am concerned about the toxic fumes that would be released by incinerating anything associated with the Palins.)

    Suggested Title: On A Clear Day You Can See Russia

  11. Romeo says:

    For your memoirs, allow me to suggest the following:
    “My Corset, Your Crabs: Choler in the Time of Love”

    It has its own tag line and the cover practically designs itself.

  12. Aja says:

    Oh my god, the woman oooooozes bullshit. The fact that some Americans were willing to vote for her insults me to the point where I simply get up and leave the conversation.

  13. JK says:

    Well now, cut the Gub a break. Now she has something to write about.

  14. Mark says:

    I hope I don’t spill a Big Gulp of Orange soda all over the pyramid of Mrs. P’s book of lies which will undoubtedly stand at the front of Barnes and Noble. I hope everyone else doesn’t spill their Big Gulps all over her books at every fucking bookstore in the world.

    Filthy cunt.

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