In a word, yes.

If you weren’t raised as a Jew, you have no standing to speak on this. As a Jew, I decide what is, and is not, antisemitic, just as POC will decide what is, and is not racism.

If you weren’t raised as a Jew, how dare you think you can be an arbiter of what is antisemitic? Notice that when a black person deems something/someone racist,  he/she is taken seriously, and his/her view is respected…at least by the progressive left.

But Jews everywhere, since October 7, are being gaslighted constantly with indignant cries of I’m not antisemitic, it’s Israel’s government that I can’t tolerant.

As we all should know, Israel is far from being the worst country for human rights.

Moving on to global humanitarian crises, DR Congo is the largest hunger emergency in the world, with over 25 million people struggling daily to simply get enough to eat.

The country hosts one of the largest displaced populations (including refugees) in the world – approximately 5.5 million. One in seven women nationwide experienced sexual violence before the age of 18, and the problem is even more severe in conflict-affected communities. However, in 2022, the number of people in need in DRC was significantly higher than the amount of people in need in Ukraine, yet the amount of funding secured was 74% lower.

Have you heard any demands to stop the violent conflicts there? The country is experiencing outbreaks of monkey pox, cholera, measles, floods and landslides.

And in Sudan? Seven months of conflict there have resulted in 9,000 deaths and 5.6 million forced to flee their homes. Where are progressives wearing the Jalabia in protest?

I bet none of your friends are going around enraged on behalf of the Congolese or Sudanese. Because the only people who matter are Palestinians, and their plight is the only one worth marching for. If Jews aren’t involved, no one cares.

Look at the map above. Note the size of Israel. Note that it’s surrounded by countries with lamentable human rights, countries where women are second class citizens and gays are at risk of prison and death. Teeny tiny Israel is the focus of the worlds dismay and disapproval….why?? Is it “because our taxes prop up their apartheid government”? The taxes argument is absurd. The US gives foreign aid to countries all over the world, some with governments that progressives surely wouldn’t want to support.

(Ukraine was the top recipient of aid in 2022, having received nearly $12 billion from the U.S. that year following Russia’s invasion of Ukraine in February 2022.)

If you want to know the history of Israel, it’s easy to research. Historians and archaeologists agree that a Kingdom of Israel existed by ca. 900 BCE and that a Kingdom of Judah existed by ca. 700 BCE.  The Jews have been deported from their ancestral homeland by various empires, thousands of years before Palestine was invented by the British division of land formerly governed by the Ottoman Empire.

Let’s get back to now. “The Hamas attack resembled a medieval Mongol raid for slaughter and human trophies—except it was recorded in real time and published to social media. Yet since October 7, Western academics, students, artists, and activists have denied, excused, or even celebrated the murders by a terrorist sect that proclaims an anti-Jewish genocidal program. Some of this is happening out in the open, some behind the masks of humanitarianism and justice, and some in code, most famously “from the river to the sea,” a chilling phrase that implicitly endorses the killing or deportation of the 9 million Israelis. The decolonization narrative has dehumanized Israelis to the extent that otherwise rational people excuse, deny, or support barbarity. It holds that Israel is an “imperialist-colonialist” force, that Israelis are “settler-colonialists,” and that Palestinians have a right to eliminate their oppressors.” *

Progressives have fallen to this fiction like they once fell for Stalin and Hitler. But their beloved Palestinians had every chance to build a thriving state instead of voting to be ruled by Hamas. Jews worked hard and created Israel out of a desert. Palestinians could have done the same if they weren’t so focused on killing Jews. (White savior complex much?)

What about the charge that Zionism is racism?

Prior to 1948, Zionism was an aspiration—the national liberation movement of the Jewish people, founded by Theodore Herzl in the late 19th century, to re-establish a Jewish nation as a solution to the antisemitism Jews faced in Europe. After 1948 until today, Zionism became a reality: a homeland not only to persecuted European Jews, but Jews from all over the globe, including Jews fleeing persecution from the Soviet Union, the Arab world, Turkey, Iran, and Ethiopia, amongst others. Israel is one of the most diverse countries in the world with over half of its population being from Africa, India, and other areas of the Middle East. The vast majority of Jews around the world identify as Zionists, meaning they support the existence of Israel as a Jewish State in the historic Land of Israel.

Antisemitism has existed now for millennia, and the prevailing ideas about Jews running everything, about how “good” they have it, is just as stupid as the Elders of Zion.

As the saying goes, “Germany will never forgive the Jews for the Holocaust.” Jews are despised for being weak, and also when they fight back. Jews are somehow responsible for everything bad. Why? The term “Jew” at various times in history has been connected to both materialism and intellectualism, socialism and capitalism, worldly cosmopolitanism and clannish parochialism, eternal chosenness and unending accursedness.

Even the UN is rife with antisemitism. So is the Red Cross.

In closing, you intellectuals arguing about whether Jewish babies were actually beheaded or just burned alive need to get a fucking grip.

Jews are the indigenous people of Israel, their ancestral homeland. Deal with it. War isn’t genocide or ethnic cleansing. And apartheid does not apply to the state of Israel, as much as you love the word.

L’chaim for now.

It’s hard to make new friends when you’re old, and even harder when you’re morose, needy, and opinionated. I’ve lived in my “new” community for 7 years and have made one friend, but she’s very busy with work and family. I’m not an extrovert by any means, but I do crave companionship, so much so that new people usually hasten to escape my orbit.

When I first moved here I had high hopes for meeting people. A friend of a friend was dating a woman called M, who was smart, well-read, and “fun” when she was drinking. Soon after we met, she invited me to sit on her lap, and I did! Why not? She was amusing, pretty, and I was drinking too.

M befriended me and introduced me to her teen daughters. She reported that the girls thought I was So Cool, and she hoped I would spend some time with them. I grew close to the older girl, a gorgeous high school student who thought she was ugly and had been dumped on the ride home from prom by a boy who texted her while his dad drove.

M started to ghost me but I tried not to notice. Her boyfriend revealed that M no longer wanted to be friends because I didn’t believe in god. That was a new one! I couldn’t take this seriously, since M wasn’t religious. Finally, I confronted her by text, and she said I was “too sad.” Interestingly, she had been drawn to my sadness at first. But now I was too sad for a woman who never, ever stopped ranting about her daughter had been raped ” in the face.”

I was so hurt that I considered getting a license plate reading 2SAD4U. Actually, I’d still like to have that but I’m too lazy to begin the process.  2LAZ4U would be even better.

Later, I met L, who was daffy but fun, and we shared some obscure enthusiasms, like Mexican Wedding Earrings and silk pj’s. I sent her a photo of my dresser, and she sent me one of her dresser. They were nearly identical!

But every time I asked her if she wanted to get together, L was doing something else. After at least 5 efforts, I gave up. Was I too sad or too lazy? Or was I too much like her? Oh well.

Not long ago, I met V at the supermarket. She screamed, “Your hair is so beautiful!” and I turned around ready to marry her. She continued to shower me with compliments, and I returned each one. She had nice hair, she was really pretty, good style, etc. We stood and talked about all kinds of things including her violent father and her favorite Maybelline mascara. I gave her my phone number and told her I would love to hang out or go to Sephora together. When I texted her, she blew me off.

Then, at Nordstrom, I met a lady my age who had just moved here from Chicago after a divorce. We talked about our kids and, at great length, about our wrinkly necks and the many methods that won’t help despite costing thousands of dollars. We exchanged phone numbers. When I texted her, she said she would love to get together after she “got settled in.” That was months ago.

M, L, and V could be reasonably described as crazy, but that was hardly a deal-breaker for me.

Last night in desperation I went to the park for a Menorah lighting thing, even though I’m an atheist who doesn’t practice Judaism. I figured there was a chance of meeting someone local who might be friend material. After talking to a few people, I learned that I have a strong aversion to yellow teeth. Then, miraculously, I met a nice woman with a nose ring and a cute baby. She was smart, warm, and exhibited no craziness. We exchanged phone numbers but I think by the end she just felt sorry for me.

My husband came to walk me home from the park, and I expressed my deep sympathy for the small gathering of Jews, which perplexed him. I explained that I was touched by their willingness to come out on a cold night to embrace their religious traditions, even though everyone has hated them for three thousand years.  They aren’t giving up, just like me trying to find friends.

Meanwhile, an actual close friend won’t return my calls and I’m getting nervous. I hope it’s nothing to do with god or sadness. I might try her again later.

L’chaim!

*A friend said on fb that she was depressed by my last post. My answer to her may clarify my position, which my tone might have obscured.  Have not yet heard back from her. But here it is.  Feel free to weigh in.

I don’t like to depress you. I’m aware that white women are not welcome to comment on this subject by definition. Here’s something a little different. When I worked for Dear Abby, her office manager was an old redneck lady who had been with the Dear Abby outfit for 100 years or something. They were technophobes who kept everything on paper, in files. One of their popular reprints was a list of Jews Who Have Done Great Things. It included Jonas Salk, Einstein, etc. I found it one day and laughed in amazement. I read it aloud to the office…”Jews Who Have Done Great Things!” Misunderstanding my tone, the redneck lady replied, “No really, some of them are good!”

So, you know, I have no wish to be considered a Good Jew, or a Good White Lady. I will not be defined by another culture’s criteria, or even by my own culture, whatever that’s supposed to be. As an atheist, I was not born with original sin. As an Ashkenazi Jew, I was not born with America’s original sin. My grandma was given a made up name at Ellis Island because they couldn’t pronounce her real one. My dad was beaten up every day on his way to school for being a “kike.”

America is a cesspool of racism and stupidity. I voted for Jesse Jackson and I’m married to a Mexican American. I don’t want to apologize for having light skin but I do want to apologize for a country that celebrates stupidity and bigotry.

Shit like calling out bindi wearers is a waste of energy, in my opinion. I would be happy to see anyone wearing a big Hasidic hat because they are dope.

I have been your friend in cyberspace for all these years because of your brains, your sense of humor, our shared fashion obsessions, your kindness, and our mutual disdain for countless things. I hope we can respect each other’s ideas even when we don’t agree. xo

Regarding the recent take-down of white women called “The 5 Types of Becky,” I’d like to register my indignation, EVEN THOUGH white women are not allowed to join any conversation about white privilege.

Our white voices are not welcome because, duh, white! We can’t possibly have anything valid to offer because we are just stupid Becky’s. From our privileged vantage point, we can see and understand nothing, by definition.

All we do is appropriate the cultures of dark-skinned peoples, and we have to be lectured on this while sitting quietly and bowing our heads. Our heads better not have braids on them or god forbid a big ceremonial Native American headdress.

Fuck us, with our appropriated bindi‘s and whatnot. I just learned that gold nameplate necklaces were stolen from black girls in the hood who were innocently celebrating their unique names. God we are fuckers. Here I thought it was a Sex in the City thing but no. My Jewish hairdresser (WHITE PRIVILEGE!) told me that she was given a name-plate bracelet as a baby in an Israeli kibbutz, but fuck her family for ripping off those innocent black girls.

Now we have ruined those nameplates forever.

I read a long list of offensive cultural appropriation crimes committed during the VMA show last week. I can’t remember them (WHITE ALZHEIMER’S PRIVILEGE.) Katy Perry alone was nailed for at least five of them.

I have tried to imagine an essay about The 5 types of Keisha or The 5 types of Guadalupe or The 5 Types of Mei-Ling and I just can’t. Not because I am too nice or color-blind but because I’m not used to categorizing people of different ethnicities. Sue me. (WHITE JEWISH PRIVILEGE.) I can’t and I don’t want to. How would that help, you know?

If you didn’t know that white people have appropriated yoga, get woke! Start learning to apologize or to just suck it up. Defending yourself is a microaggression. Get used to it, Becky.

I don’t know about you but this shit is killing me.

Just since the inauguration, I have developed carpal tunnel syndrome and eczema. I’m grinding my teeth and I’m glued to Twitter. Each new egregious development sends me into a fit of rage and disbelief. I can’t take much more of it.

And yet. You can’t just ignore it. People who tell you to stop watching the news are just losers whose lives are built on denial and not rocking the boat.  If this isn’t the time to get worked up, when is the time?

I hate these two fat capons. They probably haven’t seen their own dicks in years.

Hating Trump is a no-brainer, but hating Steve Bannon takes a little history to do it right. I like this quote, if you’re in a hurry:

Breitbart once called Bannon the “Leni Riefenstahl of the Tea Party movement.”

Trump’s statement on Holocaust Remembrance Day was remarkable for its omission of the word “Jews,” clearly a nod to Bannon’s antisemitic base. How can you talk about the Holocaust without mentioning Jews?? The White House is standing by the omission, but Reince Priebus at least admitted that the Holocaust was “sad.”

People, what are we going to do about these cunts? We’re going to resist any way we can. Here’s an online Resistance Manual to get started.

The Women’s March was fun, wasn’t it? We can have more fun like that. There’s some stuff that isn’t fun, but let’s do it anyway. We don’t want these two wife-abusing pigs to set up a fascist regime. We want healthcare and public schools. We want out reproductive rights and air that is breathable. We want refugees to feel welcome here.

Trump’s own mother was an illegal immigrant, and so is Melania, but that doesn’t stop him from his hateful rounds. Like a psychotic postman, he will trudge on through gloom of night, until he has destroyed the whole fucking world. If we let him.

We’ll worry about Pence later, along with my eczema.

Leonard Cohen has a new record coming out, and at 82, he reveals in a new interview that he is “ready to die.” Meanwhile, Bob Dylan has won the Nobel Prize for literature.

You may not care for either artist but that just means you have no taste or you’re a millennial or something.

I realize today how much both of them mean to me, how much I was influenced and inspired by them, that they are key figures in the soundtrack of my life.

Bod Dylan’s performance of Hallelujah, from 1988, isn’t the best cover of the song, but it’s stirring nonetheless, and it’s cool to hear.

What a great couple of old Jews!

L’chaim, motherfuckers!

(c) Leonard Cohen by Graeme Mitchell

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In my 20s, a hundred years ago, I remember enjoying newspaper ads for grocery stores that said “And For Our Jewish Friends,” with photos of Hanukkah or Passover food. I enjoyed what I felt was the discreet racism of “Our Jewish Friends” and probably inferred a silent “You kikes!”

I thought this Jewish specificity was a thing of the past but nope, the clickbait above popped up yesterday.

So where are the Hottest Presbyterian Woman Under 40?  I couldn’t find them, but I did find fifty more Hot Jews, including many names I’ve never heard before plus Sarah Silverman, the poster girl for attractive Jewishness.

If you google the phrase “And for our Jewish Friends,” it crops up everywhere, usually a polite afterthought to an Easter or Christmas wish. “Hey Jews, look, we’re not excluding you!”

When will America single out Muslims and Buddhists in their holiday greetings or hot babe galleries? Until that happens, I resent the shout out to Jews.

Fuck you, Dominant American Culture! I’m not your friend. I don’t even believe in god. But here’s how I served some pastries at my housewarming party last week.

L’chaim and Merry Christmas, inshallah!

My favorite aspect of the Borat character is his antisemitism. Naturally, my appreciation of this relies on the knowledge that Sacha Baron Cohen is Jewish. And the more Jewish I feel, the more I feel at liberty to mock Jewishness. Like Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce, Sacha Baron Cohen is allowed to approach antisemitism in ways we wouldn’t tolerate from a non-Jew.

The other day, I was amazed to hear the British headmaster of the elite London boys school where Baron Cohen was a student, boasting on NPR about the school’s large population of “Jewish Boys.” Lord Jesus! In 2006, a sophisticated Brit can still regard “Jewish” as a special category! No wonder Sacha Baron Cohen is so savage about this subject!

I have a friend who has learned to try not to use the word “Jewish” to describe former girlfriends. He knows I will scream “Jewish?!?” and he knows where that leads.

A week after seeing the Borat movie, I attended a bar mitzvah, only the second one I’ve ever been to. It was full of ritual and tradition that I can only describe as lovely and moving. But the spirit of Borat hovered over the proceedings. Nothing could shake my sense of seeing Jews as an outsider, even as I felt a rare connection to my ancestors.

Jews! They are just so Jewish! My grandma used to stuff her handbag with packets of saltine crackers whenever we went out to eat. If she heard that someone was sick, she couldn’t get enough details. She would always ask, “What is the doctor’s name?” meaning “Is he Jewish?”

At the bar mitzvah, the Rabbi described how the torah he was using was hundreds of years old, and had been preserved by the Nazis to use in a museum of Jewish Icons. Silly Nazis! This story and all the biblical crap about Moses and Abraham helped to remind me how much the world hates Jews. And that, of course, made me that much happier about being Jewish.

As long as some upper class British guy is still commending his school for accepting “Jewish Boys,” Borat will have a mission to accomplish. Thank god the Jews run Hollywood and the media!

~

*originally posted in 2006

Oh, look: Beyonce visits the Anne Frank house. A good time for an instagram. But she handles herself so much better than Justin Bieber, so that’s a relief.

Let me just quote my favorite line from “True Detective“:

L’chaim, fatass.

Ha.

And behold the young Wolf, 18 years old.   We are dressed for a Passover dinner with our in-laws.   My pants represent the gold idols that the Jews were not allowed to worship.

Not really.

Feel free, if you dare, to criticize my styling of the pants.