Suck it Up, White Women!

suck it up

Regarding the recent take-down of white women called “The 5 Types of Becky,” I’d like to register my indignation, EVEN THOUGH white women are not allowed to join any conversation about white privilege.

Our white voices are not welcome because, duh, white! We can’t possibly have anything valid to offer because we are just stupid Becky’s. From our privileged vantage point, we can see and understand nothing, by definition.

All we do is appropriate the cultures of dark-skinned peoples, and we have to be lectured on this while sitting quietly and bowing our heads. Our heads better not have braids on them or god forbid a big ceremonial Native American headdress.

Fuck us, with our appropriated bindi‘s and whatnot. I just learned that gold nameplate necklaces were stolen from black girls in the hood who were innocently celebrating their unique names. God we are fuckers. Here I thought it was a Sex in the City thing but no. My Jewish hairdresser (WHITE PRIVILEGE!) told me that she was given a name-plate bracelet as a baby in an Israeli kibbutz, but fuck her family for ripping off those innocent black girls.

Now we have ruined those nameplates forever.

I read a long list of offensive cultural appropriation crimes committed during the VMA show last week. I can’t remember them (WHITE ALZHEIMER’S PRIVILEGE.) Katy Perry alone was nailed for at least five of them.

I have tried to imagine an essay about The 5 types of Keisha or The 5 types of Guadalupe or The 5 Types of Mei-Ling and I just can’t. Not because I am too nice or color-blind but because I’m not used to categorizing people of different ethnicities. Sue me. (WHITE JEWISH PRIVILEGE.) I can’t and I don’t want to. How would that help, you know?

If you didn’t know that white people have appropriated yoga, get woke! Start learning to apologize or to just suck it up. Defending yourself is a microaggression. Get used to it, Becky.

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10 Responses to Suck it Up, White Women!

  1. Tom Isenberg says:

    Hi Sister Wolf. I agree that human rights that are selective are not human rights at all.
    And when I look at a person, of course I notice their physical characteristics, but my thinking and judgement stops there as I only see a human being, at least until they open their mouth.

    The article does state, however, that “not all white women are Beckys, but all Beckys are white women.” While there are probably “Beckys” of all races, creeds, religions and nationalities including many men who are “Beckys” (whether heterosexual, homosexual, metrosexual, bisexual, asexual, transgender, non-gender and so on), it is true that not all white women are Beckys. You, for example, Sister Wolf, are definitely and definitively not a Becky. I can personally vouch for that.

  2. erekcja says:

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  3. Sister Wolf says:

    erekcja – I know a Spam Becky when I see one.

  4. Suspended says:

    “Spam Becky” bwahahahaha.

    People spend too much time scrutinising absolute shite so they can be the first to be outraged on the internet. It’s all about the “likes.” When people become too comfy, they become too cunty and war is probably imminent. Not knowing how good you’ve got it is the biggest misstep.

    I’ve come to realise that “minority” is a state of mind clung to by uninteresting people in a vain attempt to feel they belong, have purpose, matter. Perhaps it makes them feel they have a voice in a world that isn’t listening (because it’s staring at its phone with headphones in.) They no longer know how to rebel in a way that’s actually useful because they can’t just swipe it left to get rid of it. They don’t have concerns that actually matter. “OMG Katy Perry didn’t just snatch off her wig.”

    The world will force them to grow up. I hope they can cope.

  5. Frank says:

    I self identify as a becky

  6. Kellie says:

    I identify as an all white cis female. As such, I am out of fashion, not interesting, unimportant and racist.
    Honestly, I have had enough of this bullshit. Every damn day there is a new transgression or cultural appropriation or offense being committed.
    I just cant anymore.

  7. K says:

    It’s hard because no one can ever be perfect or reach the apex of ally-ness that would please all the people all the time. And that makes it discouraging as an ally to even want to try – why bother if it’s only met with critical condemnation? Perhaps what we should really ask the author of the piece is, can you provide us – in this case, white people – with suggestions of how not to annoy you with our friendship? Because I really want to know. Because I really care that human beings, all human beings, feel worthy, loved, accepted, valued, etc. I want that for everyone and I want to know what I can do, other than self flagellate for being born into the unearned privilege I live and breath every day, to help support or forward that belief. Don’t just tell me I’m an asshole for trying if you can’t tell me what I should be doing instead.

  8. Dj says:

    Am I missing something? Who is this Michael Herriot and wtf? I’m not getting this. Why is he such a sage, all knowing expert on white women? Sorry, I’m offended by him, his small mind and the fact that he has nothing better to conjure up. I don’t expect black women to be carrying baskets instead of Louis Vuitton. I don’t expect white women to wear prairie dresses instead of scuba dresses. everyone appropriates. Mexican girls are named Ashley and Brittany, black girls get Brazilian blow outs, white women lay in the sun to get brown. Asian women have tons of plastic surgery to look non Asian. Black men marry white women. White men play basketball. Get a life Becky hater, I have a feeling more than a few beckys told you “no thanks.”

  9. Maya Sienicka says:

    Yeah, we white cis hetero women can’t do anything right, and we offend just by existing. Since I’m well over 60 and don’t have fucks to give anymore, that’s fine with me. BTW, the “cultural appropriation” is such an American invention, bullshit, and a First World made-up problem. I asked my Indigenous gardener if wearing the typical Indigenous outfit would be offensive. He looked at me as if I’ve grown two heads and said “no, why, if you want, my wife can take you shopping”. I don’t want to wear it; a friend of mine does, on occasions, when she’s INVITED by the Indigenous community to join some festivities. Recently watched a video of a Japanese man and his American wife discussing “can a White person wear kimono and when is it appropriate (if ever)”. He said “any time they want, it’s OK”. “But what if they do it incorrectly?” “Many Japanese people don’t know how to do it correctly, so they get help, not a big deal”. He clearly thought that the whole issue is nuts. But it’s so nice to feel offended. UGH.

  10. Finn Beckett Andujar says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you– all of yous.

    From a half white, half Puerto Rican, blasphemous wearer of kimonos (coupled with an indigenous head dress, no less) who grew up in the the South Bronx and got my ass kicked on the regular for never being able to fit into the parameters of either tribe. I’m married to a merry, alcoholic Irishman whose family has never had a Latina infiltrate their bloodlines but, by golly, “those grandkids are so darned good looking!!”. I’m old as fuck, sexually invisible, and can’t keep up with the ever changing lexicon and it is so tiresome anyway. Oh– and my older brother’s mother was black, but he is gay and prefers Asians. So there. Ahhhh, life is beautiful…

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