Today I discovered that my blog was down, and I called out to my webmaster (i.e., my kid) to find out what was wrong. I was very pissed off, suffering from the delusion that my “readers” would be unable to access my blog and therefore lose interest. The whole purpose of a blog is to have interested readers, right?
But I wonder about these readers. Apart from my personal friends, is there a readership out there? I’m beginning to see that the blogs I go to most are the ones that deliver a predictable element: either fashion, gossip, politics, or the arts. I’m wondering if anyone wants to return to a blog that might be focused on crime, grammar, fashion, or Horrible Stuff, with only a consistent point of view to connect the subjects.
I’m disappointed that I don’t have millions of readers who leave enthusiastic comments like I see on the fashion blogs. Thirty people will comment on a blogger’s new skirt, for example. I’m lucky if I get one comment from some idiot who defends Kimora Lee Simmons, months after I’ve made fun of her.
So in essence (and here I’m getting to use the phrase “in essence,” which I really like), I feel that my dream of being offered a lucrative book deal or a devoted following of brilliant eccentrics is not going to come to pass. I’m annoyed but maybe I can turn this into a positive experience by deliberately addressing myself to the one or two people who stumble into my cyberpath.
Hi, you two! What’s new? Anything good or bad to report? Did you see the Jimi Hendrix sex-tape? Aren’t you sick of that Reverend Wright? What a fucking egotistical maniac, right? Oh god, and what about Rumer Willis being chosen as one of People Magazine’s most beautiful people? Hahahaha!
Also, when I went to the dentist today I found out that I have six cavities, yes, 6. But at least my dental hygienist made me laugh by talking shit about the other hygienist, who apparently wears a wig.
Okay then. Leave a comment about my skirt! Just kidding. xxoo.
I check you out almost everyday!
p.s. Nice skirt!
Your blog is one of my Google feeds, so I lurk here fairly often … I come for the Horrible Stuff 🙂
well, you’ve got me. i’m like ten thousand awesome readers in one short girl. oops! i mean lady. so you can let the dream live.
I check you every day and often link your posts to my Facebook page for my friends to read.
Rumer Willis looks like Eric Stoltz in Mask.
Skirt.
You look really pretty today.
I agree with your other readers. You always look great.
You know I am one of your biggest fans. Though I read 100 blogs, yours is always one of the first I stop by, leaving the other, lesser blogs til later. I know I should save the best for last, but poor impulse control is my middle name.
Is Jimi better than that fucking slug Gene Simmons, the laziest “lover” on earth? Rev. Wright AND the media – both irritating as hell. And you know my opinion about Rumer, the potato-headed goddess.
Your fans- we are legion.
Lindsey, Kari, Anon, Nichol and of course Suebob, thanks for your comments. If I weren’t a nun, I’d ask you to marry me.
xxoo
Sloth and Tobilynne, my spam-catcher thing is not the sharpest spam-catcher thing in the shed. But I found you there, and you’ve given me the strength to go after Rumer Willis with renewed vigor.
xxoo
Hello.
I read your blog every now and again, when I remember about it. I should add it to my google feed, like that other dude(or dudette).
And no, I haven’t seen any Jimi Hendrix sex-tapes. What’s that all about?
And where’s your skirt anyway?
I’m still trying to decide which of the article tags best represents me: “friends” or “motherfuckers”. It’s a hard one…
I’m a regular reader. u crack me up. keep on truckin’.
This blog is fucking hilarious. I esp love the Sylvia Plath dress post!!!!!
Thanx 4 linking me…
Ivan, I don’t have a skirt as such, but I do have a dress. I’m thinking about posting a picture of it, even though it makes me look fat.
Brian and undeadsinatra, I feel like you are friends rather than motherfuckers.
Riz, it is an honor to amuse you.
Godammit dot com, I feel like a fucking queen and it’s not even mother’s day yet!
For what it’s worth, Susie B just introduced me to your blog and I think it kicks ass. K
I read you about once a week, to get my updates on horrible stuff. You survived a recent blogs-i-read purge, for whatever that’s worth. I like you.
You could try http://www.statcounter.com/ if you really want to know how many, how often and from where.
Just discovered you today via Kingdom of Style and now you are on my ‘daily fix’ list – totally inspiring language+brains+honesty+style! looking forward to more!
K-line, Different Kari, and Eloise: Thank you for your support!!
As for stats, I already have Google Analytics but I am too stupid to interpret its reports. I did learn that on one day, 600 people in Russia read my blog. But no one in Iceland reads it! So I’m thinking about a post titled: Bjork.
I’ve always loved you!
Best recent post: Cult Wife Fashion.
Hi there, Just found your blog via kingdom of Style – love it! I am sure your readership will go up now that Susie B and the Queens at the Kingdom are promoting your Blog.
we were the most fuckingest fucking fuckers in the history of fucking fuckerdom. remember? way back when? when was that, anyway?
oh well, all that’s unimportant. what is important is that i sometimes remember to check your site more than once a week, and after all this time, you still make me laugh.
Of course I reme mber. We still are, Dewayne. xoxoxoxo
I just found your blog via. Kingdom of Style
i do enjoy!
Your blog is fantastic! it’s refreshing, acerbic, and well written. And you have excellent grammar. I’m a new reader (via kingdom of style) but I’m hooked. I’m trawling through the archives like a mad woman. Some of the blogs that constantly get loads of comments and hits are shockingly bland and poorly written. You lament the lack of enthusiastic comments about skirts but you know that this situation has arisen because you write for the elite and not the plebs. =D
Thank you, marriedwithfour and Alice, for liking godammit.com
Wombat: I am taking your comment to heart and I appreciate your point of view. I will proceed accordingly. xxoo
Well, I don’t know if I qualify as a ‘brilliant eccentric’, but I stumbled across your blog about a week ago and am now making steady progress on reading the entire archive. You make me nod and laugh, which is an ideal combo. The end.
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Like Helena, I recently found your blog via a link from another blog. I loved the blog entry I read so much, that I started at the end of the archive and am working my way towards the present.
I love how you write, even if I don’t always agree with what you say. Sometimes I think your acidic negativity is too much for me, but then suddenly it seems perfect. Sometimes I wonder if you’ve been listening in on my own middle-aged rants.
Write a book – I’ll be happy to buy it.
Look at all those peoples comments, i could swear most people dont even read the whole article!
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