It Isn’t What It Is

In answer to a reporter’s question about the election results, Tony Snow responded “It is what it is.”

Jesus Christ, I hate that expression. It’s the fucking worst, is what it is. It has roughly the same informative value as the expression “Yes and no.” I hate that one, too.

Why must people torture me with this horrible misuse of language? Words and expressions that became sickening years ago are still going strong. Is everybody deaf? Another one that persists is “That said,” after which you contradict what you said previously. Make it stop! Wouldn’t you think that “At the end of the day” could only be used facetiously?   At the end of the day, you still need to suffer through these excruciating clichés.

So I screwed around and found Urban Dictionary, where you can drive yourself insane with pleasure or outrage, depending on your outlook. Just scrolling around there is like walking through a cloud of killer bees, or being electrocuted. “I’d hit it!” almost made me scream out loud.

Every possible contemporary cliché is listed there, including all the ones you managed to somehow get over. The ones I sort of liked, such as “I’m Rick James, Bitch,” now make me sick, merely by their presence alongside shit like “tonsil hockey” or “oh no you di’int.”

Still, it’s almost comforting to read the definitions of the word “random,” LOL.  And if you hear an unfamiliar term, you can find out what it means. For instance, I just heard “Come to Jesus” for the first time last week, and now I know how to use it. Someone somewhere must be sick to death of Come to Jesus, but it’s new to me, so I’m planning to have some fun with it, irregardless. To anyone who gets annoyed: Don’t even try to run up on my shit.