Category Archives: Words

Exciting New Weight-Loss Product!

I came across this ad in a magazine and I was sold by this promise: “Join forces with a complimentary toning lotion for a body that Micheal Angelo could’ve sculpted himself.” It doesn’t get much better, does it?

Posted in Art, Words | 1 Comment

Send Messages After You’re Dead!

Deathswitch.com offers you a way to send email after you’re dead, and I for one like its suggestion to use this service to “have the last word in an argument.” I don’t really know if this website is a joke … Continue reading

Posted in Words | 2 Comments

What an Asshole

I’ve just read an essay by Chrisopher Hitchens called “Why Women Aren’t Funny.” Obviously, it was written to provoke rebuttal, but why does he even bother? An aging drunken bully, Chistopher Hitchens can always be counted upon to express an … Continue reading

Posted in Rants, Words | 4 Comments

A Big Disconnect

   Among the sickening new buzzwords and jargon I’ve learned recently are “drink the Kool-Aid” and “drill down.” “Circle back” now means what “get back to me” used to mean. “Incentivize” is a painful one, isn’t it?   “Ping” means to … Continue reading

Posted in Words | 1 Comment

I Am Thomas Pynchon!

Yes, it’s me. Surprise!   I still value my privacy and I’m going right back into seclusion after I finish this announcement. I don’t mind getting text messages on occasion from J.D. Salinger, but even he can overdo the small talk. … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Words | 2 Comments

It Isn’t What It Is

   In answer to a reporter’s question about the election results, Tony Snow responded “It is what it is.” Jesus Christ, I hate that expression. It’s the fucking worst, is what it is. It has roughly the same informative value … Continue reading

Posted in Horrible Stuff, Rants, Words | 3 Comments

I Love Katt Williams

Katt Williams is a really funny stand-up comedian who uses the word nigger with such repetition and with so much emphasis that after watching his act, I felt kind of deprived. I want to say nigger too! Of all ethnic … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Words | 3 Comments

Shanice vs Caitlin

Call me racist, but I love Black names. In my own defense, I love yuppie names too, like Hunter and Madison. But Black names give me a particular thrill, like the time I heard a mother in Ross for Less … Continue reading

Posted in Words | 3 Comments

What’s Up With Japan?

Without wishing to endorse racism, I have to admit that the Japanese psyche appears to be a little demented when it comes to sex. If bukake wasn’t enough, now I’ve learned about another popular Japanese practice called “chikan“. Chikan is … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, Horrible Stuff, Words | 2 Comments

Let’s Talk About Books!

There are books I’ve read that entertained me, enriched me, educated me, annoyed me, and enraged me. Some haven’t done shit to me. And a few, to some degree, have changed my life. If this gets pretentious, just scream “eeoow!” … Continue reading

Posted in Words | 5 Comments