Once upon a time, a Crazy Russian Bitch launched a bizarre attack on me on a blog I visited. Then, she started attacking me on her own blog, mocking the way I wrote about my broken pelvis. She blocked me from commenting on these personal attacks, and she finally became so belligerent about me on the first blog that she ended up in a feud with its authors.
Then, she mocked me to one of her readers, David Duff. I found David Duff’s blog and left a friendly comment there.
The Crazy Russian Woman was beside herself. When Mr. Duff refused to be discourteous to me, she was furious. She wrote a post about why he was a bastard, and why she was deleting him from her blogroll! Ooooooh!
Since then, she has written a vicious post about another blogger who has cancer and had inadvertently enraged her by turning to God.
She has continued to behave like a crazy African dictator, so obviously she can often be enjoyed just for her delusional arrogance. Here, she calls Obama a ‘socialist piece of shit.’
Meanwhile, David Duff has continued to defend my honor by maintaining a civil and warm cyber-friendship with me despite the fearsome wrath of Her Craziness.
The internet can be full of potholes for the unwary, but it’s nice when someone turns out to be a true gentleman, even if he’s an archconservative. David Duff is therefore the first recipient of the Sister Wolf Samurai Award. All hail him!
Awarded the Sister Wolf Samurai Award!
My God … I mean, my God … you’re sooooooo kind … sooooooooo generous … and I have sooooooo many thank yous …. my agent (God bless you Solly) … and my mother … I really must thank my mother … I mean despite it all …. and my dear, dear agent, Solly … and you’re all such wonderful people … and my dear agent, I mean, he’s not really dear, you know what I mean? … but on the other hand he ain’t cheap either … but I love you Solly … and you, Mom, despite it all … and the Russian lady, I mean, I would never have won this award but for you … so here’s a Russian kiss for you … mwah! mwah! … and I love you all and …
(And so on and on for several more paragraphs of not very convincing – or funny – satire written because my flab is well and truly gasted and I am at a loss for words. I have literally lost count of the number of blogs from which I have been more or less roughly ejected so it is a welcome change to receive such an accolade. Thank you.)
Your mwahs alone deserve a mwah, David.
Nobody mwahs like me, baby!
Don’t aim any mwahs my way Mr. Duff, toward SW maybe. I have considered you fit for some Oriental award myself but I was thinking Ninja or something.
Sister Wolf sees you as you are – deservedly astride that horse (why not white? I take it that would clash with the red armor) and toting that “My what a sword!”
Especially given the content of your latest post. No. Aim no mwahs in my direction.
Congratulations Mr. Duff, to receive the Sister Wolf’s Seal of Approval is much higher commendation than any Knighthood.
Hooray for Mr. Duff!!
“Tomorrow blossoms,/ And bears his blushing honours thick upon him”.
(Thank God for the OUP Dictionary of Quotations!)
I am insanely jealous and suitably impressed.
xx
wait! I am confused again! why hasn’t someone simply tracked the crazy russian bitch down and #$@!$%! on her clearly inadequate *&^! settling the matter once and forever?! clearly this matter trancends the realm of verbal chivalry, as impressive and worthy as David’s efforts have been in the good Sister’s defense.
this is when it pays to know a few genetically defective, morally impaired hooligans to back your play!! I’ll call my little sister immediately.
Well done Mr. Duff. You are a credit to your mother.
Well SW you generoisty knows no bounds but Mr Duff truly deserves your award for such honourable behaviour in the face of adversity and crazy bitchness.
Hail, David Duff!
Mwah hah hah. Of course the accolade is merited. But when it’s topped by credit from Her Arch-hotness of Ranelagh (I have my sources, AM!) then Duffster you truly have arrived. Course it’s death by flagellation next week as usual, kay?
I’m having a Bowmore in your honour.
The crazt Russian is giving us tyrants a bad name. I wish the bitch would just shut-the-fuck-up…kinda!