“Dress However You Want!”


Okay, I’m 56 years old and just following Carine Roitfeld’s lead. Where’s the party?


Now that I’ve done Walker Porn, I can’t compete in the Miss California contest, but that’s cool. Sometimes you just have to make your statement and pay the price.   Again, behold Carine’s statement. I believe she is saying, “Dress However You Want!” unless she’s trying to indicate, “I Am Nuts.”


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49 Responses to “Dress However You Want!”

  1. Alicia says:

    Ok, i lied in my last comment. Only Carine looks gross. The walker porn on the other hand…HAWT.

  2. arline says:

    You look better than Carine.

  3. Kate says:

    This is just beautiful. You look like a surrealist muse. Difference being: you’ve got the attitude to pull it off, and Carine is hiding her light under that bushel of a cape. She should know that grown woman arms are incredibly hot. I wish you’d do an outfit post everyday, but then it wouldn’t be so special, and Karla and Rumi would probably buy walkers.

  4. Imelda Matt says:

    pass me mah smelling salts….HAWT, HAWT, HAWT!

  5. Mrs. Shreck says:

    Carine annoys me, but this is not why. I’m sorry. I love you.

  6. alittlelux says:

    the little basket on the front of your walker totally pulls the whole thing together. baskets= hottest walker accessory of the season.

    also, you are smokin’

  7. Sarah.p says:

    Ok so first I snorted tea out of my nose, then I checked those incredible pins of yours and now I’m just sulking. Godammit Sister Wolf! No-one is supposed to look hot sporting lace leggings and a walker! It’s not on! Stop it at once! X

  8. Susn says:

    Hey, Sister, bold statement! You’re in great shape. A smile is the most important accessory – and it doesn’t cost anything at all.

  9. Susan says:

    Hey, Sister, bold statement! You’re in great shape. A smile is the most important accessory – and it doesn’t cost anything at all…

  10. I still can’t believe that you are older than me. You seem like you’re still in your 30s, visually and attitude-wise, Madame !

  11. Moda says:

    Stop it, that’s hilarious! Biggie has to be renamed – Smallie? Carine is clearly attending the annual “I am nuts” conference and has dressed appropriately for that.. You know with “big granny pants” as we call them in Scotland (alternatively known as “belly-warmers”) and plenty of thigh. Nice.

  12. Juri says:

    Ah, Walker porn! Pole dancing and mainstream burlesque shows are so 2005. You should copyright that basket and start doing afternoon shows. I’d throw my lunch money in the basket! Or you could brand and franchise your act and become bigger than Ditta whats her name.

    You MUST wear that to that horrible hospital the day your son gets out. Maybe with a fur coat?

  13. I’m speechless with admiration!

  14. Lauren says:

    Rock it Sister!

  15. annemarie says:

    hahahahahaha! you should go to the “hospital” like that!

  16. Stella Mayfair says:

    I. LOVE. YOU!
    walker porn forever!

  17. Suebob says:

    Aw you’re just fishing for compliments about how HAWT you are. Consider me hooked. You rock.

  18. Jill says:

    Fucking Priceless…she says in her little girl voice!

  19. I think you’re lying about being 56; there’s no way.
    The lace, the boots, the basket…I love it, Sister! Carine should hire you at once.

  20. annemarie says:

    Your thighs look way more toned than Carine’s.

  21. Ann says:

    I have no words. None. I stand back and applaud you, you look beyond wonderful!

    And I am SO with Juri – THAT HAS to be Max’s discharge outfit.

  22. honeypants says:

    I love that you could just whip out your own copy of that outfit like it was nothing. The basket, the walker, your tattoo and the hair — it’s priceless. I love you!

  23. annemarie says:

    Jesus! Ann– DISCHARGE outfit!! hahaha!

  24. OMG, Hilarious! Made me smile despite a mean headache this AM 🙂

  25. K-Line says:

    You are hilarious! And HOT – even with a walker!

  26. slimeylimey says:

    Goddamm sister you are more beautiful now than when you were fifteen! hahaha love and adoration, doll!

  27. Elizette says:

    Sister Wolf, I came across the recent ‘Blog Wars’ post of yours yesterday and can’t believe what I’ve found! Your blog is a treasure chest – the perfect antidote to so many blogs that I am a slave (of my own volition, I hate to admit) to reading and yet that do absolutely nothing for my self-esteem or my smarts. You, however, are an outstanding cunt among a Sea of crap! You can count me as a devoted reader from now on.

    On the subject of who gets my goat (this comment would be better posted in response to your ‘Blog Wars’ entry but I’m posting it here for convenience), it’s: galadarling.com. You might find further fuel to fire your ranting there 🙂 Some others’ views about her can be found here: http://www.cutoutandkeep.net/snippets/issue16/gala_darling. Ah, I feel better now that I’ve got that off my chest!

    I’m looking forward to reading your blog. I also send my best wishes for the speedy recovery of you and your son.

  28. Vee says:

    You’re the real thing, Sister Wolf.
    All the Rumis and Carines of the world are pale, sputtering flickers, poor imitations of your torch of amazing beauty, brains, strength, and pure, unadulterated bitchiness.
    As far as I’m concerned, you can wear whatever the hell you want!

  29. JK says:

    Could be worse Sister.

    Sarah to Levi, “You’re invited to Thanksgiving you,,, mumble, mumble f’ing mumble turkey…. mumble mumble….”


    “Dammit the gall! Selling out your house of the Holy! Your body for Crissakes!”


    Personally – I think Todd knocked up Levi’s Mom. And if I’m right, even though Sarah is now married to Todd, are Levi and Todd still cousins?

  30. I never want to say anything bad about Carine, because I think she leads an unconventional lifestyle, and that’s always good. But holy shit–if you look like this in a leotard at 56 with a broken hip!!!! Seriously Sister Wolf-Bananas, your are shutting it down, a whole new level, killing it. Can we pimp your walker?

  31. Ewwww–I meant you’re–god knows I don’t want to have a spelling mishap or grammatical error with Sister Wolf–God, do you all know how I depend on Dictionary.com??

  32. Aja says:

    Give that Carine a run for her money. Or rather a slow walk. Loves you.

  33. Alana says:

    Gala Darling’s only skill is picking up on trends before anyone else does.

  34. Sister Wolf says:

    Alicia – Hahaha! If Walker Porn takes off, I’ll have it made.

    arline – Yay, me!

    Kate – And I’m not even flashing my armpit hair!

    Imelda Matt – Are you wetting your pettipants??

    Mrs. Shreck – As long as you’re annoyed, that’s what counts. xo

    alittlelux – HAHAHA, my sister rigged up that basket for me. It’s very useful!

    Sarah.P – Oh, fine, I’ll stop it.

    Susan – Another complaint?! Oh dear.

    Sardonique – Wait. You mean we’re not in our 30’s ????????????

    Moda – Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

    Juri – I’ve said it before: You are a fucking genius.

    Make Do – Hey, you can pose like this too, if you’ve got a stupid pair of tights!

    Lauren – Yeah baby!

    annemarie – I should. It would teach those fuckers a lesson. (not sure what lesson though)

    Stella MAyfair – I’ll hang on to the walker until you get one, how’s that?

    Suebob – Ooooh good. I’m glad you’re finally hooked. xo

    Honeypants – HAHAHA, isn’t it funny that I already had that shit?? I love you too!

    annemarie – Ann is my sweetie.

    Blackburn – I made myself laugh too. Thanks for the funny shoutout, xoxo

    K-Line – I’m NOTHING without that walker.

    slimeylimey – Adoration back to you, limey, xxoo

    Elizette – THANK YOU! I will go check it out and get back to you.

    Vee – jesus christ, I fucking rule, Vee!

    JK -It’s too confusing! Make them stop!

    Judy aldridge – Haha, I am so shutting it down! Let me just say, it is Calvin Klein underpants and a Splendid tanktop. I think Pimp My Walker is the show we’ve all been waiting for. You may produce.

    Bex – Damn right.

    Aja – HAHAHA, a very slow walk. Loves you back.

    Alana – And yet that is quite a skill. Is that the One I’m going to hate??

  35. WendyB says:

    Very Helmut Newton/Lady Gaga in Paparazzi. You’re looking hot against your will, I’m afraid.

  36. dust says:

    Photoshop? Surgery? Pilates? Deal with a Devil? Good genes?

  37. Alana says:

    Yes. http://galadarling.com/

    Some quick facts so you can get to know her.
    * She legally changed her name to Gala Darling
    * She constantly says “Ummm HELLO?” when praising clothes, makeup etc.
    * This is her boyfriend whom she calls “The Dish”

  38. Vee says:

    Alright, Alana. I clicked your links. Sister Wolf, I think this “Gala Darling” character is quite deserving of at least some of your vitriol.
    Ugh, why does she insist on taking most of her pictures from a terribly unflattering camera angle? Her nose appears to be growing out of the frame….

  39. BubbaZ says:

    Dearest Sister Wolf,

    How could you have missed this story? Two of the biggest assholes in the world form a mutual admiration society: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20319295,00.html#

    p.s. You’re the definitive MILF


  40. I love your stupid tights, and your hot walker look. I want to say “Work!” but I guess it’s too passe?

  41. Oh–seriously–can I produce?? Holy fuck!!

  42. Mia says:

    Hahahaaaaaa, you’re the best! 😀 And you look great! I hope I’m gonna look as great when I am 56 too 🙂

  43. hammie says:

    you are fabulous, but the basket just floors me. What do you keep in there? hand colored easter eggs? xx

  44. rollergirl says:

    Hilarious and hot!

  45. selina says:

    You are far too old to wear that outfit. And way too skinny. Sorry just thought you’d want someone to give it to you straight instead of fawning all over you

  46. Sister Wolf says:

    selina – Of course I’m too old, you moron, that’s the point. Don’t hate me because you’re fat, though. xo

  47. jimbo says:

    whoa you are mental

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