It’s a cliche that cliches are often based on truth, but the biggest cliches are easy to forget, like the ones about beauty. Beauty isn’t truth, but it elevates the soul just as much as garbage debases it. I keep forgetting to look for beauty in my search for relief. By relief, I mean relief from my own thoughts, which are my own worst enemy (not counting my trolls of course.)
Last night I went to see Van Morrison, and was reminded of the healing power of communal joy. Normally, I don’t want to make the effort to do things that involve any commitment of time and energy. A Van Morrison concert requires buying tickets, a strategy to get across town, a timetable to keep, packing snacks to eat, putting together an outfit that’s comfortable but reflective of my superior style, and so on. Thanks to my husband, I gathered myself to go.
Beauty is probably everywhere for all I know but I’m finding I need to search for it and cling to it. I wish this would become a habit, like checking the New York Times to see what new travesty is afoot. All my habits are bad but I know it’s possible to form new ones, better ones. Smoking weed is a relatively new habit that’s improved my life immensely. Same with Chai Latte.
Music used to a big part of my life before smartphones. Driving and listening to the mixes Max made me was always so pleasurable. A house full of musicians was something I took for granted. The empty nest is quieter, and there is a joy that can’t be replaced but there is still joy to be had. I might need some mechanism to remind me: A rubber band, an alarm clock, a mnemonic acronym like MOEB (Music Or Else Bummer)?
I wish I could follow Van Morrison around the world and see every show. I wish I could rouse myself to get out and see more art. It’s a first-world problem but a life or death one for the severely depressed. (See Schopenhauer.) The crack is not where the light comes in, it’s where the vessel will break under pressure.
What form of beauty do you turn to for consolation? Tips, anyone? Here is a video that my friend Andra sent to me, an excursion into undersea beauty that left me weak with religious ecstasy.
And here’s some sparks of joy for you synesthetes.
On those very rare occasions when I search for beauty, I usually take a look in a mirror! Just kidding but after all of 3.2 nano-seconds of thought, I suspect that the greatest beauty is often accidentally stumbled upon rather than found after a search.
Right there with you! Loved this… XO
I thought about seeing Van Morrison, St Domenics Preview and all, but it was at the Bowl. I had just been to the Bowl for the Sound of Music, (don’t mock), and was not ready for another bus ride from Lakewood. Any planned ahead activity is torture.
Are you also appalled to hear White Rabbit under a Carnival Cruise commercial? I thought Nike and the Beatles were bad.
Trees. And Olafur Arnald’s re:member
David Duff – Sure, stumbled upon is probably the best kind of thrill. But some of us can’t just wait around. The daily struggle is the problem.
Miranda – xoxo
Marla Griffith – We went to the Bowl, busride and all! White Rabbit, yep, horrifying. Nothing is sacred.
Alison – Thank you!!
Your post resonated with me so much. Glad you got out!
I used to “rockhound” a lot, and that always brought me great joy. Sifting through a creek bed for hours looking for a fossil or a piece of quartz – anything interesting – has always connected me to the beauty in the world.
In the last couple of years, I’ve found that even sifting through landscape rock outside any place I’m stuck for a bit brings great happiness, too. No preparation or forethought needed, really, which makes the experience even better;)
Rambling around Sister and I came across Malcolm’s. Hope this hits it for you.
http://malcolmpollack.com/2019/11/17/and-now-for-something-completely-different-10/