Head Lice : Too Icky for the Rich and Famous?

   Hair Fairies is “the only full-service salon in Los Angeles and Manhattan dedicated to removing head lice in a kid-friendly environment” and whoever came up with the idea to offer this service is a godamm genius.

Head Lice is an equal opportunity parasite that tends to plague young schoolchildren. If you think of it as a malady of the lower classes, then you don’t have kids. Outbreaks of head lice are now more common than chicken pox, and in a way, a lot more upsetting. At least, for the parents.

When your kid’s school sends home a flyer telling you to check his or her hair and scalp, chances are you will freak out. If it’s the first time,  expect to  feel a combination of outrage and disgust. Lice?! Eeoow! If it’s not the first time, one is more likely to curse: SHIT, NOT AGAIN!   The bottom line of head lice is that it’s a huge pain in the ass to get rid of them. You have to apply a toxic shampoo that will strip off your nail polish, and then you have to search through the hair for nits (the tiny eggs that cling to each hair and have to be picked off with a special comb.)

When my kid had head lice, he attended a swanky private school and rubbed heads with the children of the rich and famous. My husband and I took turns picking the nits out, and we offered our child a penny per nit, to entice him into sitting perfectly still under a lamp for hours. I think he made almost a dollar. I became very adept at scraping off the nits and drowning them in one graceful movement.

Now, if you have money to throw around, you will never know the unique teduim of picking  nits out of your kid’s hair.   Why should you?   Just pay someone else to do it, like you pay for everything else. Call the Hair Fairies!   They’ve hired some very talented folks who have the patience and financial desperation to slave over your child’s lice-ridden head while you run around getting Botox injections and screaming into your cellphone while you head for yoga class.

I think it would be fun to call the Hair Fairies at 1-877-285-0069, and make an appointment for Connor, Lourdes, Maddox and Apple. In fact, if you call in the next 15 minutes, I’ll throw in a free set of steak knives!