Ventriloquist’s Dummy Phobia!

There’s nothing better than a weird phobia, don’t you think? While Fear Of Clowns seems pretty common, it’s nice to know that Ventriloquist’s Dummies inspire enough dread to be listed in the pantheon of modern phobias. “Imagine what your life would be like without Automatonophobia, Fear of Ventriloquist’s Dummies, Animatronic Creatures and Wax Statues!” challenges the heading on a website offering therapy. Wow, I CAN’T imagine that, but it sounds great.

At present. I have just three operational phobias: rodents, freeway driving, and midgets. I have a friend whose phobias are jewelry, wigs and mimes. I’ve told him that mimes don’t count because it’s a universal aversion, but he insists on calling it a phobia.

Not to brag, but I used to be terrified of armlessness. More specifically, I was afraid of people with only one arm. Even more specifically, I was afraid of seeing people with one arm, not the people per se. Sometimes I would approach a kid with his sleeves dangling empty, and my heart would freeze. After several close calls, I figured out that kids like to wear sweatshirts with their arms inside against their bodies.

Obviously, phobias can come and go. I plan to cultivate, if possible, both lutraphobia (fear of otters) and apeirophobia (fear of infinity.)


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4 Responses to Ventriloquist’s Dummy Phobia!

  1. Mark Poirier says:

    My friend, let’s call him Matt Frank, has a ventriloquist dummy, a very scary one from his youth that’s in mint condition (even by eBay standards). This friend, whose name is Matt Frank, thinks it’s funny to prop this dummy next to sleeping guests and give the dummy a butcher knife. I was a victim of this prank and nearly ruined Matt Frank’s sofa with a bladder full of morning pee.

  2. Bunty Van Beaver says:

    Ha! One armed photocopying….bring on the Prospere!

  3. Ann says:

    Armless phobia seems very real to me.

    My phobias include my wet hair from the shower being stuck to my body. I very nearly have a nervous breakdown every time I wash my hair because I lose tons of it each time I shampoo and condition, and the hair sticks to my fingers and wet skin like elderly women on a Loehmanns clearance rack in Boca Raton.

  4. Well I can relate to the dummy phobia as I get anxious everytime I see Anthony Hopkins.

    If you really have a phobia like that I would stop venting about it though as it will only make things worse LOL.

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