Madonna Angst

I know, you all love Madonna. You love her dance hits, you admire her for ‘reinventing’ herself, maybe even for being a survivor in the fickle world of pop music. And you think she looks GREAT for 50!

God, I hate Madonna. Just like my tattoo says, ma haine dure. I saw a video clip from her recent show and wow, she was a sight to behold. She looked to me like a grandma doing calisthenics. She seemed a little winded as she lip synced into the mic, but who wouldn’t, from all that exercise!

To be fair, I should commend Madonna for being a fit granny, because many grannies just let themselves go. But I see her turning into Mae West right before my eyes, and no one seems to want to mention this.

Here’s an offer: I will put on a track suit and jump around while lip syncing the song of your choice, for only $19.99. If you call now, I will throw in some weight-lifting tips, too. I guarantee that I’ll look younger than Madge, if not quite as muscular. I’ll even put on a fake English accent!

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6 Responses to Madonna Angst

  1. Tobi Lynne says:

    She really creeps me out … glad it’s not just me.

  2. Charponnaise says:

    She is a horror. I think the only song she’s ever done that I really liked was Vogue. Her voice makes me want to stab my ears with sharpened colouring pencils. I hate her Charlie’s Angels hair and I really wish she’d put her crotch away. I’m dogsick of being told to admire her.

  3. Echidnagirl says:

    Thank you thank you thank you. I loathe Madonna.

  4. enc says:

    I know where she can get just the right set of Barbie Weights for her workout sessions with you.

  5. Sister Wolf says:

    Thank god I’m not here all alone! I have hated Madonna for a long, long time, and yet there is no escape from her. I have even proposed a pay-per-view TV event for her, where she can kill herself, in the ultimate act of exibitionism.

    But she hasn’t taken me up on it. Enc, I am not getting those Chanel dumbbells, so just forget it!

  6. Mark says:

    At least she still has that gap between her teeth. Or does she?????

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