In response to my last post about rock bands, I received the following comment by someone using the name Gene Simmons:
i hate that old dried up cunt, the one who ´s son died
~
Here are my thoughts. It’s wrong to attack someone like this, online or otherwise. Why the hell would a total stranger try to hurt me in this way?? Just because they could get away with it? It is beyond my understanding.
So I wrote back to this person, and said:
What a horrible thing to write to me! May I ask what moves you to write such a hateful comment to someone you have never met? I hope you never experience the loss of a child. Meanwhile, I’d like to know why you would invoke the loss of mine in response to an innocuous blog post about rock bands? Sister Wolf
The next day, she replied:
you know what you are right
I ´m deeply sorry
your loss is way too big for me to understand, and i was outta line
this is what made me write that:
“that girl whose boyfriend punched her in the face”
when a person suffers through abuse, besides the beatings and insults and humiliation
what hurts the most is the scorn of those around her,
things like
“that would never happen to me”
“that happens only to stupid bitches”
and it pissed me off that while you demand compassion about your situation,
you show none towards someone who was fucking publicly punched in the face and then mocked endlessly for it
sometimes the only person who doesn ´t shit on you for being in that situation
(that looks so simple but it ´s not)
is your abuser
so you go back because in that moment he is being sweet, when deep down you know that it won ´t last
and it was a mistake I ´m sorry
I know things don ´t get better by insulting someone else in pain
and there i was trying to put you down to make myself feel better
when we are all fighting something
that random comment just struck a cord, felt personal you know?
óbviously I ´m not without fault myself
I hope this makes you feel less insulted
yours truly
Gene Simmons
~
Having read and reread this explanation, I don’t feel Gene Simmons knows the difference between a pop star and a blogger who lost a child. I don’t “demand compassion” as Gene Simmons states. I have no demands. I merely expect human decency from those who wish to leave comments.
Gene Simmons is actually a 31 year old aspiring artist named Gabriela who lives in Mexico. There she is, above. She needs to take responsibility for the things she writes. She’s not 12 years old, after all.
I don’t want to hear ONE MORE WORD about my vag, which in fact does not suffer from dryness. And I don’t want to be taunted with the death of my child.
Please explain to Gabriela why her apology is worthless, since I don’t feel adequate to the task. Explain to her that the cause of abused women isn’t furthered by grotesque insults lobbed at other women, under cover of a pseudonym.
And if you want more of Gabriela in your life, you can visit her here.
Gabriela, when a teenager identifies herself with celebrities with whom she fancies having something in common it’s disturbing. When a 30-something woman does that it is a cue to her loved ones to stage an intervention.
Then again, your loved ones probably gave up on you 20 years ago.
Wow! Some bitches don’t learn! Gabriela’s cunt seems to be overly acidic….prehaps a bit yeasty as well! What a twat!
And another thing, Gabriela: You have NEVER experienced abuse, violence or anything of that sort. You have read in glossy magazines how that umbrella girl was beaten up by another nonentity in that car but you have no first hand experince. You only wish you had.
I’ve been stabbed, battered, beaten up and so on and so forth. I got my first (and last) group beating at the age of 10 by a group of 5 wealthy kids who took turns beating my friend and myself up at their playground (after inviting us there). I have read about celebrities having experienced abuse but I have NEVER looked at an abused celebrity and thought, ‘hey that’s me’.
If a person is truly hurt he does not look for objects of identification in magazines. How the fuck should Madonna being abused by Sean Penn help my nose bleed? Or that umbrella girl and Chris something. My nose bleeds and dries on its own, and so would yours if it had ever bled.
Another thing about persons who HAVE been hurt/wounded/abused: they don’t troll around in the interwebs and other places looking for grieving people they can hurt or insult. Wounded persons RESPECT the pain and grief they see in other people. You wouldn’t know grief if it kicked you on your terribly fat ass.
Also too, I’m on my holidays in Turkey and the band at the pool is crap but the raki in the bottle is outstanding!
What a rude little pig, much too old to be acting that way (though it’s disgusting and unacceptable at any age). 31 years old, just…wow.
And Juri, I can’t stop laughing. Sad, but likely true. I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to put up with someone like that.
Seriously gabriela give it up. Is it any wonder why you only have 6 friends on zorpia? Your just crying out for some attention. Oh dear.
Juri – I’m glad you were able to bring it back to terrible bands. Also, “Wounded persons RESPECT the pain and grief they see in other people” I wish this were the case more often.
ps I’m glad you’re on holiday.
Sister,
This bitch sounds like my sister in law who is a major cunt and constantly lashes our for attention in the most vile of ways. Ignore her sorry ass.
XOXOXOXXOXOOX
SW- I love KISS and Bret Michaels too much to post on that blasphemous (as David Duff would say), er, post, but here’s my confession (I haven’t been touched by an album in 20 years, really)
Lou Reed: New York
The Rolling Stones: Sticky Fingers
Guns’N’Roses: Appetite for Destruction
Johnny Thunders & The Heartbreakers: L.A.M.F.
Baccara: Baccara
PS. I love you Sister Wolf. Don’t EVER leave us!
Gabriela, some 25 years ago at a party somewhere in my well-balanced teenage-hood/dom we had a party. We were around 17 years old. One of us went to the bathroom, climbed into the tub and begun cutting himself. Another one of us went to take a piss, looked at the bleeding one in the tub and said, you should cut deeper so you would bleed better. Then we went on with our drinking.
The point of the fairy tale: this is the wrong place to “discuss” your self-destructive plans. “What then?” Let’s fucking see. You first. GET HELP!!!
Sister – I think you deserve to have a cute painting of a pig to look at instead of me, here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/w_yvr/253556051/ (I recall you liked Sowa’s pigs a while back)
And also some happy updated classic TV show themes, since we prefer music to trolls.
well, the girl seems to have some problems (we all do right?) but then she MUST leave you and Max alone. Talking about a deceased person in that way is not acceptable. I just lost my aunt recently and also learned that a young teen I have known since he was a baby was dead in a car accident in 2005, his childhood friend was with him and died too. I didn’t know about it and read about it online in a news article. His mom took care of us when we were small and mom was at the hospital giving birth. She cooked food for us and cleaned our apprtment. I just can imagine what you feel sister wolf, I cried a lot for this boy, I remembered him when he was a baby and I cried. I know now that when you see someone when he is a baby you have hard time when he goes. I am not a mom but I just can imagine what it’s like to lose a child. I know some adult I knew died and I didn’t cry that much, sometimes it’s because I didn’t know them well but then again I didn’t know this boy well either, just seeing him outside playing with his friend. I think this girl has problems and usually people who have problems I try to find some compassion in my heart for them because they are lost.
I am dealing with depression on and off and it’s so hard, I say mean things to my husband sometimes and then I regret it. My husband is dealing with his childhood problems too but refuse to admit that those problems are the cause of his anger.
Candy – Thank you for writing, in the midst of your own problems. All blessings to you and your husband.
Tina – If only your sister-in-law was a troll you could block!
No, because I’m not interested in gratuitous browbeating.
Sis- I’m so sorry 🙁 This person is a total fucking cunt.
How do you track IPs like that. I just had a pretty nasty ( though not nearly as bad as this one directed towards you) comment that I’d like to track……
Juri, you rock.
You might enjoy this story about troll-outing: http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/01/21/pearlman.online.civility/index.html
Strange how ordinary they are, eh?
OK, so you did something awful, you were called on it and you apologized; then a moment later you did something awful again – to what point exactly?
Pigs are definitely nicer…
Wendy – Well, not all are “ordinary.’ That one from Dallas is still writing to me to this day, a whole year later. Still taunting me, etc.
I wouldn’t get excited over someone calling me “retard” like the guy in that story. But people should expect consequences, that’s what we try to teach children.
another idiot.
Some days, I wonder where they come from. there seems to be an endless supply.
You dont have to, and are not expected to take that shit.
Keep outing the fools, they will get the hint.
love you, meanie pants!!!
What the fuck SW!! I’m so upset write now. Here I was trying to understand this bitch, when all along she was evil. I take my comments back!! Why would she dig her own grave even deeper? She should be apologizing not sending you more nasty comments. What a fuckwit! I’m so annoyed at myself for giving her the benefit of the doubt. Erghhh
Wendy, I read that article in your link.
Yes, I can see that a lot of these people are just pathetic
little people who feel lost and helpless and think that by hitting out (anonymously, because they can) somebody else might feel some of the nothingness that they exist in.
There is pain in a lot of lives and it can be hard to deal with in a civilized manner, apparently, for some people.
I don’t know what the answer is but it’s sad.
Sad, sad, sad.
Andra – Don’t be sad. We have proved that strangers can also bond with love and compassion.
Kellie – Hahahahaha, xoxoxoxoxoxo
I’ve read her apology three times and I don’t comprehend the English. And most of my friends are science students – I know bad English. Suffice to say, I’m out.
Someone once said, “The practice of Philosophy is the picking of fights with dead people.”
Perhaps jousting with Internet trolls is bickering with people who haven’t lived yet?
First I want to say it’s tired and I’m late, so I’ve only skimmed the comments and I hope I’m not ignorantly repeating too badly. SW, what she said to you is inexcusable, there is no doubt about that. Personally I’ve come through a horrendous period and can *kind of* empathise with the commenters sentiments. There are many stages to pain and trauma and I can only guess that your commenter is experiencing something awful. I was raped and following the event I experienced immense anger toward strangers, friends and family if they said or did something that I somehow related back to my experience and felt they were personally attacking me, logical or not. The thing I have learnt is that everyone is always going through something shit, but it is always relative – I can’t comprehend losing a child, but someone else can’t comprehend being raped and some people are being tormented by what could seem excruciatingly trivial to you or I. Pain and trauma do awful things to us and make us say (and do) awful things. I guess all we can do is accept and understand that and help each other through the pain. It was very wrong of your commenter to take her anger out on you in such a vile manner, but maybe since her attempt at apologising we could all turn in support of her as well (if that is what she needs), and turn her negative into your positive. Arghhh I hope this kind of makes sense SW, like I said it’s late and I’m typing on my phone. To finish my convoluted tale, my whole thinking on this was brought about by my constant and naturally fruitless quest to find something good in what happened to me, depression and anxiety were taking over, eating disorder was kicking in. Then by chance I saw a different family dr to normal who said to me, maybe the good is yet to come, maybe your experiences can help someone else who is suffering be it from something similar or completely different, you know what it’s like to be balancing on the edge and you are coming back.
Ruth – I know what you mean — I was out of my mind for months with post traumatic stress. I picked fights with people, even in my own family. And I lashed out in anger and pain.
However! I am a person, not a saint or a concept. I cannot have people attacking me in such a horrible manner. People who use my grief to try to hurt me are beyond my sympathy.
I do believe in trying to draw on my understanding of trauma and grief to help others. I have written to countless readers who chose to share a personal trauma with me.
Trolls will have to rehabilitate themselves without any help from me.
Thank you for writing. xo
This is just… psychowank – all you said was Rhianna got punched in the face & that you hated her, which she did (not that you hated her BECAUSE she got punched in the face hardy har what a stupid bitch because you would never say such a ridiculous awful thing). Perhaps you were somewhat brusque but I hardly think that deserved such a response. Shit, this is YOUR blog for YOUR thoughts.
And what in the flying fuck does Max’s death have to do with any of this? I think your openness and honesty about what you’ve been through makes you vulnerable to attacks from total fucking idiots like this, which makes me sad. I’m just angry anyone could be so stupid & callous and just… horrible. But I think this is the best way to deal with it: expose them, out in the open & get people to talk it out.
xx
i was shocked by her comment when i first read it. when i saw her (strained) apology, i was sort of impessed. after all, it would have been much easier not to respond, or to say something even more vile. but that’s what she’s done here in the comments. totally unforgivable.
so, so sorry she did that to you.
@Nats- “If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything” is a universal motto which should be applicable to everyone, regardless of their situation.
Isn’t slamming anyone and everything the whole point of this blog? Why wouldn’t this girl then be entitled to her opinion? It is a low thing to write about someone who has lost a child but there are many low things that are written about on this blog, yet no one slams Sister Wolf for writing it…
Jelly – Let me be clear. ANY TIME someone writes a comment with a sentence like “It is a low thing to write about someone who has lost a child but”
THERE IS NO BUT. Why can you not understand that?
It is the worst thing that can happen to a human being. The worst thing. It is not comparable to any other loss or trauma.
How dare you make me explain this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t come back.
What a nasty little sad person that twit is – no excuse. Sad representation of humanity.
I am so disgusted by her cruel and unforgivable hatred. 🙁 You are in my thoughts, Sister! xox
There’s no excuse. It’s unacceptable, period. If anything, someone who has suffered should be more empathetic to other’s suffering.
Jelly – when will you learn to read? And perhaps also engage your brain. I appreciate that I speak the Queen’s English and ‘slamming’ isn’t in my top 1000 words but I’m speculating that you think this blog is about mindless name calling. I suggest you up the meaning of the word discourse.
Losing a child is the worst thing ever. We all know that even if we can not comprehend it. Lets go back a few stages, the grief, the stress, the loss is unbearable. In this instance there is a licence to behave – however.
I couldn’t have cared less if SW had come round to scream at me every day and called me all the names under the sun. She could have ‘slammed’ me every which way with verbals.
Grow up Jelly, get a life or more importantly understand life.
I wish there was a way to have someone screen the comments before you even get to see them. If it mentions your son, DELETE.
Its out of line- NO MATTER WHAT. Makes me very very sad.
I think I fucking love you. And that’s just after reading your vengeful and witty exchange with none other than “Gene Simmons.” What a cunt!
Thanks for the post, and the whole blog for that matter.
I read on…
– Tina
I’m confused. I’ve read your beautiful posts about the loss of your son and I am sorry for your loss. I know firsthand about addiction and suicidal ideation and other issues you touch upon. I will never know your loss. I wish you courage moving forward.
However: this is a blog. You allow any and everyone to comment. Anyone who’s been on the Internet for more than a month understands that malicious trolls will be malicious trolls. Either disallow anonymous commenters via a registration or something of the sort…or expect the occasional randoid from Mexico.
But after she offered her naive apology… what else is there to do? It’s the Internet. You have waves of support and you single out this random hurting person who just acknowledged that she behaved stupidly? I’m befuddled.
acd – Please: I have stated that it’s unacceptable to begin a comment with “Sorry your son died but…”
But nothing. Stay befuddled. You are beyond my help. Just take your business elsewhere.