In response to my last post about rock bands, I received the following comment by someone using the name Gene Simmons:
i hate that old dried up cunt, the one who ´s son died
~
Here are my thoughts. It’s wrong to attack someone like this, online or otherwise. Why the hell would a total stranger try to hurt me in this way?? Just because they could get away with it? It is beyond my understanding.
So I wrote back to this person, and said:
What a horrible thing to write to me! May I ask what moves you to write such a hateful comment to someone you have never met? I hope you never experience the loss of a child. Meanwhile, I’d like to know why you would invoke the loss of mine in response to an innocuous blog post about rock bands? Sister Wolf
The next day, she replied:
you know what you are right
I ´m deeply sorry
your loss is way too big for me to understand, and i was outta line
this is what made me write that:
“that girl whose boyfriend punched her in the face”
when a person suffers through abuse, besides the beatings and insults and humiliation
what hurts the most is the scorn of those around her,
things like
“that would never happen to me”
“that happens only to stupid bitches”
and it pissed me off that while you demand compassion about your situation,
you show none towards someone who was fucking publicly punched in the face and then mocked endlessly for it
sometimes the only person who doesn ´t shit on you for being in that situation
(that looks so simple but it ´s not)
is your abuser
so you go back because in that moment he is being sweet, when deep down you know that it won ´t last
and it was a mistake I ´m sorry
I know things don ´t get better by insulting someone else in pain
and there i was trying to put you down to make myself feel better
when we are all fighting something
that random comment just struck a cord, felt personal you know?
óbviously I ´m not without fault myself
I hope this makes you feel less insulted
yours truly
Gene Simmons
~
Having read and reread this explanation, I don’t feel Gene Simmons knows the difference between a pop star and a blogger who lost a child. I don’t “demand compassion” as Gene Simmons states. I have no demands. I merely expect human decency from those who wish to leave comments.
Gene Simmons is actually a 31 year old aspiring artist named Gabriela who lives in Mexico. There she is, above. She needs to take responsibility for the things she writes. She’s not 12 years old, after all.
I don’t want to hear ONE MORE WORD about my vag, which in fact does not suffer from dryness. And I don’t want to be taunted with the death of my child.
Please explain to Gabriela why her apology is worthless, since I don’t feel adequate to the task. Explain to her that the cause of abused women isn’t furthered by grotesque insults lobbed at other women, under cover of a pseudonym.
And if you want more of Gabriela in your life, you can visit her here.
Maybe Gabriela was ‘punched in the face’ by her boyfriend and that’s the real reason why she left a nasty comment. I get the feeling she has been been abused in some way, otherwise why would that comment have upset her so much? She’s writing about herself, not a pop star.
Laura- yes, I agree. But I WAS NOT TALKING ABOUT HER nor did I dis Rihana, who revels in her abuse by singing with Eminem about “liking it”it. A battered woman need not bring up my son, PERIOD.
Sister Wolf…I also live in Mexico….shall I hunt her down? 😉
Aside from her awful grammar I was offended by her cowardice. People feel they can say anything online; like anonymity is license to misbehave.
Sadly none of us can make anyone out there on the web behave like accountable adults….but she (Gene Simmons) should know that in THIS community of people who enjoy your blog, she has no friends!
Daniel – Yep, it’s the cowardice and the license people give themselves to say truly outrageous and cruel things because something “stuck a chord.”
True that! I don’t think what she wrote was acceptable at all. I was just trying to understand why she would ‘troll’ to begin with.
huh. it is strange to have a face to put to an internet troll. usually they are these odd faceless miasmas. i’m not sure if it is more creepy to see one actually materialize as an actual person. on the one hand, it is horrifying to put a face to it because you have to wrap your head around a specific person (not a somebody!) being so cruel and angry just for the hell of it. on the other hand, you can see that the nebulous troll miasma is just a person- a really miserable person most likely- and then develop some compassion. working long hours as a waitress at a place where i’m alternatively hit on and insulted, i’ve found it really useful to just feel badly for people than get angry or upset when they treat me like crap. i just figure they must be miserable and i feel badly for them. this chick is obviously going through something.
Sophia -It IS strange! I think of them as evil entities but I feel they should be Outed. I have never left an anonymous comment anywhere. Ever. If you have something to say, create a forum or vehicle to express it.
We are all going through shit, don’t you think? It’s not an excuse for all forms of behavior though.
I appreciate your thoughtful comment and your insights.
damn…
I had this horrible job where people were so often rude over something as unimportant as coffee. After one verbal assault over what? I still don’t know, the person behind her told me “people who treat others that way just don’t get it, they just don’t get it and they never will”. This woman was always kind and always had a smile and taught me at a very young age that some folks are just assholes and it has nothing to do with you. That lady’s comments about your son are disgusting, and clearly she doesn’t get it, and never will. The type of person who takes the time out of their life to sit and type hurtful things like that is an incomprehensible well of sadness. And talking about someones vag is just weird!
sister wolf
compassion… please if any knows the depths of despair it is you-be kind she just doesnt get it but it appears she is trying
honestly i think its totally heartless and indecent for some random to write something of the sort.
what happened to people having compassion for one another?
there is a different between snark and full-on vile behaviour. that comment definitely crossed the line, and good on you for not letting it go unnoticed.
hmm… to begin with, what this woman said is just thoroughly vile and disgusting. if it had a smell it would be putrid. i don’t want to diminish that in the very least. anyways, it seems like what you find particularly hateful about this lady (beyond the obvious) is her attempt toward anonymity. I can totally understand that but I also just kinda see her behavior as another reiteration of pain of which there is an infinite variety. there are a million ways to be cruel and hateful (new configurations discovered by the hour!). this is why, as you pointed out, we all go through shit- we are all flinging shit all the time! inflicting pain anonymously on the internet is a particularly low variety (i wish dante was around to catalogue the horrors of the net) but it doesn’t seem like the root issue to me. The root issue is, for me, how to deal with hateful, sad people in a way that will ultimately make one feel better. For me, it is trying to develop compassion so that, you know, I can just stop thinking about the shit and move on to something else. It doesn’t always work… but, you know, sometimes it helps.
I realize I’ve written a lot but it is because I’ve thought a lot about this kind of thing (the shit we all go through and the shit we put others through) in my short life. I was sexually abused as a child and teen which, you know, sucked. what was worse for me, though, was when I did try to get help, I was told by a lady adult friend that I was wrong, that it never was happening, yadda yadda. I never got help after that. The abuser was a looker and a charmer- I found out later she had feelings for him. A real sob story (and I’m really fucked up so I don’t know why I’m writing advice on the internet!!… ahem) but that isn’t my point. My point is growing up I thought a lot about things to be angry about and the reasons why people do terrible things- because they do do terribly wicked, seemingly meaningless awful things- and what I can do about that and how I am going to survive spiritually (and, therefore, physically live). I guess the conclusion I came to is that the only way out of it is to realize how miserable hurtful people are and just how much suffering it takes for someone to belch something awful (words and actions). This helps for two reasons: 1) It makes me not want to participate in the cycle so that I can move on. 2) I also am struggling from time to time. I am also sometimes horribly miserable. I know how it feels to have a lot of hurt and then sometimes hate inside… so then I can empathize. This helps for (another) two reasons 1) Even if I don’t know a person, it helps me realize that they aren’t entirely one thing or the other. They are a person. Our experiences of each other are really limited. For example, maybe this troll is kind and sweet to her grandmother. Is her grandmother’s experience of her any less valid? when I was a kid I loved the movie dead man walking (I wanted to be a nun for a short period of time… rofl). There is a line in it in which the sean penn’s character says something to the effect of- what if your life every day was about the worst thing you’ve ever done? That really stuck with me. I don’t ever want to treat people in that way. 2) Realizing their suffering makes me feel connected. It might a connection to the vast web of human suffering but somehow recognizing that is uplifting to me.
I probably sound like an annoying do-gooder and I’ve blathered on for a long long time… anyways, those are my thoughts. I’m not going to edit!
I am sick to death of people breaking bad behind the shroud of secrecy that the internet offers. People say shit online that they’d never say in real life and it is unacceptable. Trolls SHOULD be outed and placed on public display. Actions have repercussions. We’ve all been through personal traumas; that does not give any one of us the right to write vile, unsolicited nastiness on someone’s blog. Apology not accepted, especially when offered by a 31 year old who should most certainly know better.
Sophia – And I won’t edit your thoughts. I grew up in an abusive environment and as a teenager I was raped more than once. I am aware that people who do awful things are deeply wounded.
I am never going to renounce “negativity” because I like to rant and that’s why I started this blog. And I do council compassion where it is helpful and appropriate.
This post is about getting crazy strangers to stop taunting me about my loss and I fucking mean it. There is no excuse for trolls like this. None.
I don’t think I understand Trolls reply. This is how I interpreted it; SW wrote that she didn’t like a rockband. Rhianna (who I assume none of us know) got punched in the face, and SW should have more compassion for her, according to Troll. Therefore Troll who is fighting mysterious pain of her own attacks SW.
Well using that sort of “logic” I told my brother I didn’t like his shoes this morning so someone should be assassinating the President of New Guinea in about an hour.
Gabriela the Troll, your apology is beyond worthless and your original insult silly and pointless. You don’t want things that represent you to be silly, pointless and worthless do you? If your life is going to shit, change it for the better and don’t try and hurt other people, it doesn’t work.
cybill – thank god you are here to help. Will you accept the post of Minister of Communication?
Well, there it is. Everybody else has said it all.
Especially Sister Wolf.
Spot on, sis.
Have the guts to say what you want to say and face the repercussions.
That’s life.
What’s that old saying, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
Still true.
With honour Sister Wolf (I get to wear a sequinned sash as part of the job description don’t I?)
yeah, well, i do love your negativity and your blog! i guess i just like to take a different kind of path in my own life. mostly because i don’t like feeling negative and can get dangerously unhappy if i don’t, like, do the hippy dippy kinda positivity crap (embarrassing but true). doesn’t mean i don’t appreciate you, though! love your rants and thoughts.
I have no respect for people who are rude with out the courage to put a name to it. And some things are just too big to be a strangers business. Something like losing a child is not something you joke about, and certainly not hiding behind a curtain to some one you do not know.
In some ways the same could be said of domestic violence, but you did not attack Rhianna about being , you just said she was punched, as indeed she was, and it was spread across every piece of “news” media that exists.
But to cut to the chase, You were not commenting on her personal life, you said you didn’t like her music. Which is your right, I have also experienced domestic violence, although i never paired up with eminem to promote it, and i do not like a single note of her music either.
And like I have said before, if you are looking for positive light and affirmations, you may not want to read a blog entitled Goddammit I am mad and getting madder. I had a troll on my blog when i started it who kept on complaining that i whined too much. I called my blog, my whlog, my whine log. what the hell do you expect?
Sophia – Whatever works for you, I support it.
patni – YES godammit, Rhianna does not represent battered women, as she herself insists. And she digs guns and has tattoos of them. She is no champion of civility or anything else.
How does being abusive teach someone to NOT be abusive?
I just don’t get trolls
cybill – Of course you get the sash. You can also wear a leopard print hat like Mobutu. That is my dream, anyway.
The rock band post was brilliant. Rihanna did get punched – fact. Cybill is spot on there is no logic nor justification to someone anonymously typing a vile comment in Mexico aimed at SW.
I love the quote “people who treat others that way just don’t get it, they just don’t get it and they never will”.
No matter what shit you get dealt in your life by the shitty stick there is no need to be vile to others.
There is a programme on the BBC called Mock the Week – it reminds me of this blog. It just makes fun of people, situations and events. The word ‘mock’ is a shall we say a bit of a giveaway.
I get bored of stating this – if you blog, i.e. publish on the internet for others to read, digest then anyone can make fun or mock you. That you have to take on the chin. People might think your blog is stupid, worthless, pointless – whatever and that is their right.
No one has the right to be a troll. Being a troll typically involves being anonymous and use swear words as if they are descriptive words and mainly being downright nasty. Name calling by typing has to be the lowest of the low. Ugh!
The only redeeming factor in this is the fact the troll actually did take note and had the grace to attempt an apology but then tried to wrap it up in her own self pity. Still one step at a time.
How I long for the Wizard of Oz style annihilation ‘Ding Dong the Trolls are dead, the Trolls are dead, the Trolls are dead, ding dong the troolllllllllls are dead!’
Just to come back to a point in my comment that sits there in isolation – the bit about the blog mocking is trying to contextualise the idea that people get offended! So if you are a blogger that others perchance might mock for some reason then so be it. If you write something in your post that someone disagrees with then of course people can say so but they don’t have to jump straight into being a troll. I’m waffling now due to in clandestine rage over trolls!
I do not think that the loss of a child is something you joke about, but abuse is not something to joke about.
Just because Rihanna is a popstar doesn’t mean she is not a human being. You talk about decency, her behavior, her status, but what matters is that you decided to write that line, even if she never reads that, you wrote that, that came from you.
And this unexpected line in the middle of a humorous post is the kind of thing that can trigger so many feelings in some people and hurt so much. I don’t know what this girl have been trough, I’ve never experienced what Rihanna has and I can’t even imagine what is to lose a son. But I know I won’t ever joke about someone’s death or abuse. I don’t think what she did is excusable even considering that she mighty have written that because she was hurt, but I don’t consider releasing someone’s personal information online excusable either, even if what she said hurted you. You don’t know why she choose anonymity while touching that subject, exposing her and her deep feeling towards this may have been very cruel too. Maybe you made her learn a lesson, maybe this won’t change anything in her life, maybe this will trigger worst things and maybe now she is or feels in danger.
Ah, the world needs both Sophias and Sister Wolfs (or should that be Sister Wolves?), but not these rubbish trolls. I think sometimes it can be valid to comment anonymously, but not in this case.
I couldnt give a monkeys what is going on in Gabriela’s life or head, whether she has suffered shit or not. “If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything” is a universal motto which should be applicable to everyone, regardless of their situation. Also totally pointless hoping that you are “less insulted”. I think being called a “old dried up c**t” is insulting enough as it is, let alone referring to your son. I think Gabriela needs to stop with the inane insults and actually start learning something of the world, and the people that live in it. Until that time comes, she may as well put friend making on hold and quit the Zorpia profile.
As someone that has suffered domestic abuse, I really do understand why she lashed out at you. Though, it was not something to be commended, she was humble enough to apologize. Honestly, it was a bit insensitive of you to refer to Rihanna as ” the girl that got punched in the face”.
Erin. Which is worse? Referring to someone as being “punched in the face” or as an “old dried up cunt who’s son has died” – directly to them. Im sure Rhiana wont see the comment and be offended personally, and being someone who has been punched in the face, many a time before, I didnt see this as offensive in the slightest. I think you and Gabriella should fuck off and go suck Rhiana’s arse to be honest.
Dear Gabriella,
I can’t believe all the cries for compassion you are getting here. I wouldn’t take it personally; you really don’t inspire compassion and I very much doubt you deserve any. I think that the only reason all these comments were left is because people rarely like to miss the chance for a good ‘ol spot of moralizing.
In the most flippant and cowardly manner possible, you tossed out a cruel and wicked comment to a person you don’t know, a woman who LOST HER CHILD.
Allow me to remind you of what you wrote:
“i hate that old dried up cunt, the one who´s son died”
You are a toxic and shallow person, so locked up in your own pain that you cannot even begin to fathom what it might be like to be someone else, to experience what they have gone through. I find it laughable that you are an “artist.” Then again, Hitler was also a failed artist.
The only people I feel compassion for are those who have the misfortune to cross your path.
Why are people insisting that you be more sensitive towards the feelings of a young woman who thinks it’s “healing” to bang on about she loves the way it hurts and S&M to 7 year olds?
Rihanna could have been a lot more productive and positive in relation to her own experiences with domestic violence, but instead we got short shorts, stupid songs and the fact that she likes the smell of sex. What a trooper.
I thought your comment on Rihanna was flippant, but funny. I don’t care about her either. Or Bruno Mars, he is like a goblin king intent on secreting his bland soul destroying whining into the ether.
I am forced to listen to them both at work, what a couple of pricks. Always fucking complaning or banging on about some crap that is totally irrelevant and pointless in relation to the world and it’s people.
Troll face, there are much more human and emphatic ways of making a point, you just come across as confused and emotionally stunted.
I have a troll names Ronald Fleischman. He doesn’t post on my blog, he calls my home number and threatens me. Someone(s?) uses my name on Topix—or so he says…I don’t visit Topix—to taunt him. He accuses me of hacking into his computer and ruining his business. He knows where I live and says he is going to “get me before I get him.” He has a friend that has called to harass me too.
SW, all I can say is that it is not too much to expect human decency from commenters. Obviously my situation is not analogous to yours…yours actually has more direct personal invective and mine is just some crazy old guy in Chicago shooting his mouth off because he is a lunatic.
I have reported RF to my local police. I am not going to change my phone number because of this asshole. I want to believe that RF will never show up at my door, and I hope I’m not naive. I didn’t bring this up to garner sympathy—just want to point out that shit like this happens.
“The girl that got punched in the face” is indeed a young woman who got punched in the face. That’s a fact, and the girl in question publicly exploits being violated to some degree. She is not an advocate. She is a business. That’s neither here nor there, though. My point is that “dried up cunt whose son died” is not a factual statement. It’s a venomous one aimed at someone who hadn’t launched a malicious attack at The Troll, nor anyone else. Gabriela needs to fuck off and find a more productive way to deal with her issues in favor of anonymously slinging invectives at a grieving parent.
The internet is a sick place, a place where people can come be assholes, perverts, villainous, horrible human beings, and hide behind “anonymous” It’s disgusting, and makes me wonder who these disgusting people are in real life. Even if i HATED someone, I couldn’t possibly come up with the words people have called you on here.
And seriously, like the world, the internet is a BIG place, if she doesn’t like what you write, she should just go elsewhere.
Gabriela was completely out of line, hiding behind her anonymity to insult you, but I agree with Erin – the Rihanna reference was a bit insensitive (sure, everyone knows about it but it’s still insulting, as if she was nothing else before or after the beating – shit like this is often why ordinary girls don’t report it, no one fancies being known as “that girl who was beaten/abused/etc.).
Not that I think Rihanna is particularly going to suffer because of one comment on a blog , but I can get why gene/Gabriela got mad. It doesn’t in any way excuse her taking shots at you anonymously via Max, though – that was just wrong.
why not accept an apology? if we go about being stubborn, what good does that do anybody? whether it’s abuse, or death, or illness, or whatever, pain is still pain, and each person’s pain is excruciatingly difficult. compassion is the only way we can begin to heal.
I noticed that comment the other day and am so glad you called her out for it. To me this seems like a classic case of the abused becoming the abuser; she’s obviously suffered some sort of abuse herself and is using the cover of anonymity to lash out at someone else. She had an opportunity to open up a meaningful discussion if she really felt that strongly about it, but instead she chose the cowardly option of taking a cheap shot at someone else’s suffering.
I got the point you were making with the ‘girl who got punched in the face’ comment. Rhianna makes a caricature of herself by taking every damn opportunity to talk publicly about her sex life and how she likes to be tied up and whipped. Sure, she’s not obligated to be a spokesperson for battered women, but she could at least show a little more discretion. Why not demand that interviewers focus on her music rather than her personal life? Oh wait; her music sucks. Never mind.
i just felt bad about what i had wrote and tried to fix it
thought that saying something cheesy might help
there is nothing i can do now
on the bright side you can moisturize your dry cunt with your tears
Gabriela – This will be your last comment here. I rest my case.
^ God, you are a pig.
annemarie – a pig AND a poet.
Gabriela – you’ve just made me absolutely certain you’re a troll, where before I just thought you were a woman who’d had some awful experiences and was lashing out at something she took personally.
Also, if you really felt bad, you wouldn’t have left that last comment.
annemarie – let’s not insult pigs, they’re nicer and cleaner than our troll above (I had one for a pet when I was a kid, they’re darling if you don’t mind them eating everything in sight and following you everywhere)
Dru – They really are cute! I have a jpg of two little pigs swimming that is SO CUTE, want me to send it to you?
Carey, that was not an apology.
Troll face is unable to come up with anything of value, hence the last comment.
Some people thrive on this kind of attention because it’s better than none, pathetic but true.
I am going to drink more red wine and pretend to myself that the world is not a massive cluster fuck of pain that has to be navigated with a core of steel and a funny bone.
Capitalism can’t have everything it’s own way because it will create a hell that no rational person would want to live in.
Chomsky
Speechless. People like that really make me want to live in a cabin in the woods. On behalf of humanity, i’m sorry.
I forgot to wheel this gem out http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/3/19/ Always true.
i still feel compassion for the too ugly to be a pig person, but really, sadness and pity is what i feel most. she is a lost, dark, empty person. although it just may be too late, i hope her c*nt is always well-lubed and that she figures out how to break the cycle of pain and abuse and be thoughtful and kind.
sw, you were right about her personality, but like sophie says, i think we have to deal with vileness in a way that doesn’t keep smearing it around this world we live in together.
i love your rants, you often help us readers get through it, knowing that we’re not alone. thanks.