“Let’s not all start sucking each other’s dicks just yet, gentleman.” ~ The Wolf, Pulp Fiction
I know how shocked you are by Mrs. Palin’s announcement today, so I’m going to share the inside scoop.
Yes, she was tweaking on meth. Levi’s mom forgot to tell her how good this batch was, so it wasn’t Mrs. P’s fault. Nothing is ever her fault.
Yes, she asked her kids whether she should resign, and yes, there were four votes of Yes and one “Hell yeah!” Trig swears like a sailor at his young age, but it’s not Mrs. P’s fault. It’s Todd. That dude is all Motherfucker this and Motherfucker that. Naturally, Trigg likes to imitate Grandpa Todd.
Yes, Mrs. P. admitted she was “wired” differently. That’s not her fault! I personally am wired funny. I bump into things and I can’t do arithmetic. So what, I’m still a valuable citizen of this great country of ours.
Yes, she misattributed a military quote to Gen. Douglas MacArthur, but that’s not her fault. She told Piper to look it up and Piper got it wrong. It won’t happen again, believe me.
Yes, she said that the world needs “more Trigs.” She didn’t mean that Trig should be cloned. God is against cloning! Cloning is science! What she meant was, “I plan to hide behind my developmentally disabled child whenever I need to deflect criticism.” See? It’s pro-life.
Here’s the thing. Sometimes, you have to lead by quitting. Like in basketball, Kobe Beef or whatever his name is, might ensure his team’s victory by walking off the court in the middle of the game. That’s a sports analogy. Or if you’re fishing, you might cut bait to catch the fish. That’s like a popular saying in Alaska, you probably don’t get it, but it totally makes sense.
It’s a bold, bold move. The fun is only just beginning.