A Boot With a Mission

The first time I saw this boot at Barneys online, I was truly stunned by its awfulness. What could be uglier?!   Wasn’t Louboutin supposed to be the holy grail of footwear?!

I even tried to find it again to show my BFF, but I forgot where I’d seen it. Tonight, I came across it again, and it still fills me with horror and wonder. What is the point of this boot? What a fucking monstrosity! And look at the price! Even Kate Moss herself couldn’t pull off something this grotesque.

And then it came to me: This boot would be good for throwing at George Bush! Imagine it hurtling through the air, it’s purple fringes flying, as it makes its way to its deserving target. Now, I see its beauty. I feel like Edward Teller!

Now, can someone give me $1,575 plus tax?

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17 Responses to A Boot With a Mission

  1. Mariah says:

    That shoe throwing footage warmed my heart cold heart, and a truly magnificant duck by Geaorge Bush, if i had a chance to throw these gorgeous shoes at anyone I would gladly take up the challenge.

  2. annemarie says:

    I can see the beauty in those. I can imagine seeing them on both:

    a) some trashy ho with bad bleach job swilling gin and crying in a deserted bar playing bad country.

    b) some six foot tall beauty in skin tight black outfit running into a show at Fashion Week. (I actually saw a pic of Emmanuelle Alt wearing these in black. They looked good on her, of course. Black also defo a safer choice)

    In any case, they are way too nice to throw at that fucker. Old fashioned rotten eggs and/or tomatoes would be better.

  3. and it’s so fitting because the fringe screams texas!

  4. I would gladly pay $1575 for the honor of beating George W. over the head with these boots.

  5. HelOnWheels says:

    No, no. You do NOT throw Louboutin at Dubbaya!! Even if they are the ugliest Louboutins I’ve ever seen. You throw smelly, moldy, pissed-on, reeks-of-sewer-and-garbage-dump clogs at Dubbaya. That heavy wood heal would have the desired impact.

  6. HelOnWheels says:

    Oops….that “heel” not “heal”. This is what happens when you try to post on the sly when you’re supposed to be working.

  7. Sal says:

    HAH! Oh how I would love, love, LOVE to see that.

  8. David Duff says:

    I thought you should know that darling Sarah (we talk frequently these days now that she’s not so busy) agrees with you. As she told me earlier, with a wink, “Ya cain’t go moose-shootin’ in them, those pesky critters ‘d see ya comin’ from miles away.”

  9. Lola says:

    Before you write them off as too hideous to be turned redeemed by any wearer, I’d like to present you with two words. Dolly. Parton.

    That is all.

  10. David Duff says:

    And a very nice pair they are, too, Lola.

    Er, words that is, what did you think I meant?

  11. Lola says:

    And I suspect, Mr Duff, that compared to the value of Dolly’s lovely pair, they are actually practically recession-proof.

  12. Imelda Matt says:

    If you’ve ever thrown a boot then you’ll know that the dynamics are all wrong. No, this best left for wannbe fashionistas and the underpaid skeletons that work in fashion print media.

  13. Mark says:

    Those boots are vile. They look like something the stoner chicks wore in 1983.

    I think we all need to give thanks: Shoes thrown at Bush–what a lovely way to end 2008!

  14. lisadom says:

    Those boots appeared in a children’s animated puppet series in the 1970’s, I think they were called Dougal then. (Guess Queer eye gave him a makeover and turned him into a boot)

    No sis, if you want a t-rowing shoe (irish accent) for your Dubya, you get ye a converse sneaker 1983 with a chunky sole, embedded with dogshit; the fresh kind with the consistency of pate. Little bit of shit on the laces for good measure.

    MY NEW PURPLE SUEDE BOOTS ARE SPECTACULAR HOWEVER, and the ground should be swept before them.


  15. arline says:

    I cold not agree more sister.

  16. susie_bubble says:

    I can think of a few more worse offenders that would be perfect for Bush-targetting…

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