A thoughtful girl named Lauren sent a link to these achingly ugly monstrosities by our friend Al Wang. They’re at Opening Ceremony for only $925. The description begins: “alexander wang knows a thing or two about what a girl wants.”
What would that be, Al? Terrifying footwear covered with hair?
(I want to thank Lauren for this distraction, because I am really struggling. I have been reading about grief and it doesn’t help. Knowing what’s normal doesn’t make it easier. I can’t see a way out of this. Finding solace in The Stupid and Awful is my only coping mechanism.)
Sister, living in grief is hard enough, without reading about it. What the fuck is normal on any day, never mind one without your son. Sending you strengh.
Those are some frickin awful boots.
Sister Wolf, if The Stupid is helping you cope, then cope away. We’ll always be here to help you jeer the atrocities.
I reckon Al is in this game to lighten your load. Words fail me – other than yikes! Okay maybe Yetti or Monsters Inc. Do you think he had a Monsters Inc fixation?
Crikey, those boots are quite simply hideous! I would make me chuckle to see what sad arse might actually buy them. The boots look like they need rescuing by PETA!
My thoughts are with you, whilst I can only compare with losing my dad, each person makes the own journey through grief and you just can’t comprehend the emotions you go through while dealing with it. Hope you don’t mind a new blogger commenting. x
I absolutely never got the Al Wang thing. His stuff just looks so cheap and I’ve heard it does indeed tend to fall apart quite easily. No thanks, I can buy over-sized tees that won’t fall apart for a fraction of what old Al sells.
In spite of that, I’m kind of liking those boots. Please don’t hate me! But I think they’d look ridiculous (in a truly ridiculous way, not as in ridiculously cute) with my hairy coats. I could be a walking Sasquatch! (Yeah like old shrimpy me could pass for a giant?)
I don’t see anything wrong in finding solace in the Stupid and Awful, and think everyone needs to go with what works for them. So rage on Sister Wolf!
XXX
Suzanne
It’s not just the hair; walking in these boots would be like walking on stilts made from Hi C cans & jump-ropes & they’re just about as attractive.
I’m with you, Witch Moma. As a DIY person I could make a very similar boots by nailing pieces of of wood to my old boots as heels and platforms, and covering the boots in a flokati rug. I could, but why would I?
A hat made of roadkill squirrels (by a cool taxidermist?) would match them nicely.
How about these:
http://www.thefashionpolice.net/2010/03/alexander-wang-attaches-grandads-boxers-to-grannys-sweatpants.html/alexander-wang-sweatpants
Isn’t it what every girl wants?
Al – how did you know that I’ve always wanted to dress like a dominatrix Wookie?
Al Wang may think he knows a thing or two about what a girl wants, but not what this girl wants. I’ll gladly be the minority, if it means not wearing those boots.
I wish there was something I could say to take your pain away. I think of you all the time and send you all the love, light and energy I’ve got. Seek solace wherever you can find it, and take heart that if peace is found in viewing fucked up shit on the web, there is no lack of it. Your friends and fans love and support you wholeheartedly. xoxoxo
I already have my hands full with my dog shedding, don’t need hairy shoes to add to the problem!
I wish I had words to make you feel better, I truly do. Please stay strong and keep talking to us, you are in my thoughts everyday.
Cricket9-Designer sweatpants, are those the ones that have made some people sweat in sweatshop and then got sold for designer price?
A lurker here just wanted to chime in to show support. I think yr onto something with your coping mechanism btw. Everyone has their own route towards sanity.
Cricket9: Those sweatpants remind me of my grandad. I would often bump into him on his way to the bathroom at night sporting a well worn pair of long johns, not one of my most cherished memories!
Does this mean I can stop depillating? Cos I’m onboard with that.
I would call them “the chewbacca boots”; if u want to look like Chew, then the boots are perfect for you. Love Star wars but the idea of looking like a hairy monster doesnt seduce me at all.
I think its normal that u couldnt forget the grief, u would carry it for ever, but its a good thing to amuse yourself with this silly fashion stuff, its nice to see that even in your worst moments u conserve the sence of humour. Send u all my support again 🙂
The Real Housewives of __________ would fall into the category of Stupid and Awful, which is why I enjoy watching them (any of them, but especially NY and NJ) when I need something filled with banal drivel to zone out to.
DOMINATRIX WOOKIE!!!!!!!!!!
MJ, that made me chortle. Thank you.
Regards,
Fellow Bourbon Drinker Alicia
hmmm, what if this started a new trend and women stopped shaving below mid-calf????
Take solace wherever you can find it, Sister. It won’t always be this awful. Thinking of you every day.
xoxo
Janet
Do you think he would put something fugly out there for the masses to worship and laugh all the way to the bank? That’s my first impression of these hairy ass boots.
if you want some solace in the stupid & awful, i can send you plenty!
They look like something from the Addams Family, but if Morticia wore them Cousin It would probably be pissed. Or scared.
When my youngest niece was little, her other aunt gave her some harry boots, that she found at some upscale children’s shop (she has more money than me) and
Baleigh burst out into tears, because she was scared of them. I am sure she would have the same reaction to these, as they are truly frightening.
Oh man, they are a worthy distraction. And I’m so sorry to hear that you are struggling. But it’s a mark of the love and relatedness you shared with your son. I’m still giving you all my positive vibes…
I want to comb them.
You know I just hate these stupid fucking boots but ……….. if it helps………OK …..but just this once.
Give up the stupid fucking shoes!!
Please.
If you think the sweatpants are awful, google “Alexander Wang shorts fashion police”. They are awfulness squared.
The wookie dominatrix boots would be much improved by pink little plastic hair clips and bows. You could also do little braids and so on. I can imagine people on the snowy streets of Ottawa falling down and rolling in the snow laughing at the sight.
Many hugs and good vibes, ((())) Sister!
So Wang that they’re wong.
Alexander Wangker
Urgh, jesus, they’re MADE IN CHINA.
I bet Al is making sure all the Chinese workers who were involved in the hairy boot are unionized and getting their due portion of the $1000 he’ll sell them to idiots for.
Well, you can’t get much more superficial than thinking women want to spend $1000 to look like they have Yeti feet.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling…of course it’s normal but that doesn’t make it suck any less. It’s good to hear that something can help distract you from the pain for at least a little while though. Sending lots of love your way. Stay strong and have faith that you will find a way out of it in time.
As for those boots…words fail. Actually, so do the boots.
If loving these is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Al Wang!!!!!!! hahahahahahaa. SW you are my first laugh. been hospitalized for 3 days and am freaking weak. Thank God my baby’s fine. Worried the whole time.
Al Wang sounds like William Hung. Really.
Someone stole my Chewbacca line. Sorry to hear you’re struggling. I am now making it my personal mission to send you some truly stupid shit. It might take me a while . . .
I think we need to go back to having mourning rituals. Keening, beating of the chest, tearing of the hair, wearing black for as long as you need to…We just need SOMETHING. I don’t know if it would help, but I would be willing to try.
It’s not fashion, but our sick website http://craftastrophe.net is moderately diverting. And there ARE pierced nipple clogs, so it isn’t entirely lacking in footwear.
Something even more horrifying. But cheap, at least:
http://www.modcloth.com/store/ModCloth/Womens/Walking+on+Rainbows+Boot
(That reminds me of that old Woody Allen bit about the two old ladies –
1st Lady: The food here is terrible
2nd Lady: And in such small portions!
)
Oh how I hate grief, I hate grieving, I hate the whole fucked-over, devouring, despairing dead-endedness of it, no way out, no rest, dreams full of it, even. One of God’s, or THE gods’, or who or whatever’s, or the great Nothing’s, little jests. Jeez, Sister Wolf, I wish I could speed time up so you could be out of the flaming hot core of it. I’m glad there is plenty of the Stupid and Awful out there to help you cope. xoxoxo
It’s ok Sister, I know it seems like it’s never going to be ok again but it will. When my brother died suddenly my mum was really shit for 2 years and then on-off shit for the 3rd year. Now she’s ok. She said that her life will obviously never be the same again but that time really does make a difference. She said that she never thought she’d feel happiness ever again but she does. She laughs now at really stupid things like the dog and she now enjoys slagging off news reporters enormously. I eventually tried meditation just to get some peace from my brain. It did give me peace and was the main thing that got me through the grief. It took me a while to want to get to that point though.
Just try to get through the day Sister, I’m rooting for you and vibing you all the strength I can. And love, a lot of love.
I’m a new follower (too soon to say ‘addict’?) of your cool blog. I live in Nice, French Riviera. Imagine a little L.A where rheumatologs make more money than plastic surgeons, with expensive bidet floating on the meditterranean sea (so-called yacht) and you are in Nice.
I forgot russian novo-rich tourists from Poutine era. Russians love Nice since ages. One of those Riviera lovers (much more dandyiacal) was Nijinski, the beautiful ballet dancer of ‘l’après-midi d’un faune’, a Debussy prelude. (a faun’s afternoon, my traduction sounds horrible). Alex Wang’s boots could be enough awful for a gothic adaption of this ballet. Next on Broadway.
ps: sorry for my cliché about L.A, while reading your blog, this cliché vanished.
Enchanté!
^ hahaaaa, wendyB!
i wish those uglies could be the client on tabatha’s salon takeover season 3
I KNEW i was wasting my time shaving my legs.
I call this pair a ¨bootwig¨. A very expensive bootwig.
That’s it, from this point on I quit shaving!
I remember your good friend The Shoe Girl doing a post on hairy shoes and boots a while back, plus a raccoon-face clutch bag. That little dose of monstrosity may help ease the pain a little. Sending love. (I may have to do a rage against Sea post in your absense, she claims she hasn’t blogged this week because ‘real life is so much fun’, then tweeting about how amazing Dynasty is a bit later. I thought you’d appreciate the knowledge that she is, in fact, trying to become one of them. And making good use of her time.)
Is that human hair? Its fucking hideous. In fact, I pretty much hate everything at opening ceremony… its all crappy hobo hipster clothes at wacko prices.
If you’re after the Stupid and Awful (and also effing funny) here, enjoy
http://www.thefashionpolice.net/2010/06/skinny-jeans-meet-wide-leg-jeans-and-you-can-wear-them-both-at-the-same-time.html
I’d be all over them- I love love love anything that looks like it could have come out of Star Wars (and “dominatrix wookie” just sent my coffee up my nose) but I won’t really be hooked on anything until “Alex” offers Yoda ears for sale. I respect the Force greatly, see.
Much love to you, Sister, I hope you will feel better someday.
Guys, I’ve seen shoes that are more hideos and expensive than these. BEHOLD!!!
http://cgi.ebay.com/NEW-GASOLINE-GLAMOUR-CANDY-PLATFORM-CRYSTAL-HEELS-PUMPS-/290447183304?cmd=ViewItem&pt=US_Women_s_Shoes&hash=item43a0004dc8#ht_5381wt_1024