Can’t Mrs. P Just Shut Up?

I know it’s not just me, because I went to a dinner where everyone was shouting across the table about Sarah Palin. I am now feeling resentful toward CBS, which keeps dribbling out more pieces of Katie Couric’s interview with that fucking moron. Can’t we just get it over with?! It’s starting to feel like an ongoing root canal of a great big molar.

Try reading Mrs. P’s answer when Katie Couric asked her if she disagreed with any Supreme Court decisions besides Roe vs Wade:

“Well, I could think of, of any again, that could be best dealt with on a more local level. Maybe I would take issue with. But you know, as mayor, and then as governor and even as a vice president, if I’m so privileged to serve, wouldn’t be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today.”

How could Katie manage to contain herself?!   This sort of gibberish has inspired a Palinism Generator (thanks,   Nick, for finding it!)   My webmaster was nice enough to modify it slightly and here is our new version.

But it doesn’t stop there.   Here’s what Palin said in an interview with talk-show host Hugh Hewitt:

“It’s time that normal Joe Six-pack American is finally represented in the position of vice presidency.” [No, it isn’t! ] “I know what Americans are going through. Todd and I, heck, we’re going through that right now even as we speak, which may put me again kind of on the outs of those Washington elite who don’t like the idea of just an everyday, working-class American running for such an office.”

Can’t you just hear that inexplicably Fargo-esque accent and diction??

She ends up revealing that the First Dude lost $20,000 from his 401(k) retirement account last week.   Wow, how the hell do you get to lose that much if you’re just, you know, Joe Six-Pack??

Here’s how: Regular ol’ Mrs. P is worth $1.2 million! How does she manage to look so trashy with that kind of money?!   Please, god, make that question come up in the debate!

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37 Responses to Can’t Mrs. P Just Shut Up?

  1. Sonja says:

    Sister Wolf, calm down. It’s not about how much she’s worth, and 1.2mill ain’t even that much these days, let’s face it. It’s about what she stands for!! That poor excuse for a woman. God, grant me the opportunity to smack her upside the head. My work would be done.

  2. Skye says:

    Don’t ever calm down Sister Wolf – just keep the rage alive!

    Since my net worth is about -$1000 with no assets, and the stock market just claimed my husband’s job I’m willing to say $1.2 US is a lot of money. A lot.

  3. Sonja says:

    Jeeze, i wasn’t meaning to be condescending Skye – far from. I’m just saying that the point is what the bitch stands for – I will hit the streets for the real issues in a heartbeat. I will come down to you from Canada and hit your streets for the real issues IN A HEARTBEAT.

  4. hammie says:

    On the contrary, I would say it takes a lot of money and careful styling to look that trashy.
    She actually reminds me of the shoplifters we got in Country Road, who would take anything, and then wear it back in the next day conspicuous in the absence of Hammsultation – to steal more.

  5. $1.2 million is a heck of lot – come on most of us are worth jack shit.
    I’m with Skye -don’t calm down keep it coming and that looking like trash question has to be asked!

  6. Juri says:

    Heck, if it weren’t 11 am, and I didn’t now for sure there’s nothing stronger in my mug than coffee, I would think I’m drunk. I’d be sure I’m reading under the influence, drunk reading, even as I read her words and drink my coffee, that strong black liguid which I am privileged enough to sip.

    She surey is a linguistic maverick, not afraid to defy all the rules and conventions. I suppose being incoherent and nonsensical makes it easier for “guys and gals” and “regular joe six-packs” relate to her. Her language is coded to exclude “those Washington elite” who don’t understand the plight of $1.2 million net worth working class people.

    Two or three sixpacks might break the code and make her understandable to Juri six-pack. I might try that while watching the debate. Heck, I’ll even wear a baseball cap. Who know’s, after 18 beers, she and I will finally be at the same wavelength, and I’ll be able to grasp the hidden message under her gibberish.

    Heck, I feel like that guy who broke the Enigma code. I’m excited!

  7. Sister Wolf says:

    Hahahahaha! ‘privileged enough to sip’ – you HAVE cracked it!!

  8. dewayne says:

    i think we should hire mercenaries to rape that bitch, but knowing her, she’d probably pay them herself afterwards.

  9. honeypants says:

    Haha! My friends at work told me they just decided they hope Biden makes her cry tonight! On camera! She would never lose her composure like that though. But as Letterman said last night, he feels like a kid on Christmas Eve, just hoping that something really weird happens. It will, I know it, and I can’t wait!!! I’m practically drooling! Yes, I do wish we could all watch it together…

  10. Sarah P says:

    I don’t even know what a Joe Six-pack is, but do we want another drunk in the white house? Another problem with this broad is she makes every person on the face of the earth need to drink. I realize now that it doesn’t take that much for the normal Joe six-pack American to reach that point of considering or condoning assisination!

  11. enc says:

    I wonder how long it’ll be until Palin is made over.

  12. Juri says:

    I just read this beautiful piece about Joe Six-packs:

    The show will be on at 3 am my time. Who would have known, a couple of months back, that I’d sacrifice a good night’s sleep on a thursday night to see an idiot from Alaska make a complete fool of herself on live television.

    This is ridiculous but I can’t go to sleep now. 39 minutes to go.

    Oh Sarah P… don’t let me down tonight. RAR!

  13. Where the hell is Andy? It’s so dull around here.

  14. Honeypants says:

    She won’t blink, but she sure will wink! I counted four 😉 😉 😉 😉

    And the “nucular” was killing me.

    Mostly, she looked like she’d been reasonably well coached, however, she kept not answering the posed questions and going back to energy energy energy.


  15. annemarie says:

    i hate this bitch! she actually didn’t do too badly! fuck her! fuck her! fuck her! and then at the end, when she said that she preferred “tawking to the American peepil” like this and not the “liberal media” spinshit? God help us all! bitch!
    and the WINKING– vomit!
    What the fuck is wrong with people? You just have to wink, smile and bullshit your way through a debate and you get a chance at vice presidency?
    It is sad. Very, very sad. Armageddon is nigh.
    The on;y trump card was Joe Biden almost weeping. Fucking SCORE! that was a brilliant move. But even saying that makes me feel cheap and dirty– is that all you have to do? A bit of melodrama and some hokey “I’ve been there too” bullshit? For the second most important job in the country and arguably the world?
    sad sad sad. I am depressed. I’m going to bed. Good night.

  16. ash says:

    Alan Turing cracked the enigma code. He is one of my personal heroes.

    I think Joe Biden was on his best ever behavior. He really did a good job. And FUCK Sarah Palin. Nice Cue Cards, whore! I don’t care what cards Biden was playing, he looked straight at the camera and told it right.

    I do not think it was a cheap move that Biden used. I have a husband who lost his wife and son to a car accident many years ago, and I think that was a real moment. AND FUCK YOU SARAH PALIN, for not even acknowledging it.

    I think I was most moved at the end when all of the families were on stage. When that Sarah Palin took the baby. And she was patting that baby on the back. If you are a mother you know that pat. The manic-in the middle of the night patting the babies back. It is funny that she even remembers it, since she is not there at night to put that baby to bed. But she remembers. When your nerves are shot, and you don’t know what else to do. You pat that baby’s back and you rock back and forth on your heels, and you hope this moment will pass quickly. We get it ,Sarah. Go on back to Alaska. I am sure you have something to drill there.

    I really hope people vote for Obama. If not, I really hope Australia let us live there!!!!

  17. Bex says:

    The debate was very. insightful.

  18. Juri says:

    Heck, darn, doggonit! Wing, wink and energy-independence.

    Most of the time she had no idea what she was talking about but had memorized some of the answers pretty well and delivered them like a robot. It was fun to watch her voice begin to crack every time she had trouble matching the pre-recorded answers to the questions.

    But she did remember the names of Ahmadejan and Kim Jong Il which she kept dropping pretty often. Almost as often as Grandpa’s name. Was that supposed to impress someone?

    I think I’ll have to watch the re-runs to try to find out what the hell she actually answered to some of the questions.

  19. Juri says:


    Heck, I must memorize that name myself so I can disguss it with parents on the sideline the next time I go to a kids’ soccer game.

  20. Honeypants says:


    Heck, I must memorize that name myself so I can disguss it with parents on the sideline the next time I go to a kids’ soccer game.”

    HA HA HA!!! Yes, you’re right Juri! And I found the KJI name dropping a bit odd. Yes, we KNOW he’s scary, but no one’s said anything about him lately, and that is not where the current focus is.

    And does anyone remember her referring to “I’ve seen the tapes.” Meaning that was part of her Debate Boot Camp? And her “joke” that no one got when she asked what the VP did?

    And the “shout out.”

    UGH. She may have been pretty well rehearsed, but I agree it was obvious. Moments of her true self peeked out. And it scared me.

  21. annemarie says:

    ash– i thought Joe Biden was great and that the choking up was a real moment too. I just think that for that to stick out as one of the best moments for him in the debate (at least to a “lot o’ folks sitting around the kitchen table” in the “Heartland”) seems wrong.
    But you are right, and holy shit I hope Obama wins as well!

  22. annemarie says:

    ugh, the SHOUT OUT was so fucking crass!

  23. annemarie says:

    Except for in movies, I have never heard a real live human being say the words “doggone it” before.

  24. Juri says:

    Honeypants – Exactly! KJI and “the Castro Brothers” were a bit odd picks for name dropping, if the idea was to flash her knowledge about international politics. Maybe the numerous papers and periodicals Palin reads (without being able to name one when asked) do keep a closer eye on those “horrible dictators who hate America” than the ones we follow.

    I haven’t heard from KJI since they told he’s doing great and is able to brush his own teeth. One of these days he might be able to take a bath too. God forbid!

    And the Castro Brothers?? Fidel is almost dead, anyway. When was the last time anyone saw him?

    But the way her voice pitched into falsetto during “..who hate America” was priceless. I hope someone makes into a ringtone so I can use it in my mobile.

  25. ash says:

    The Castro Brothers! I think she meant the Clancy Brothers! Because someone really needed to keep an eye on them!

    Why did she even bring Fidel up? What is wrong with her? Good God woman, I bet you have the late Senator Paul Simon’s bowtie spinning in his grave!

  26. annemarie says:

    I’m sticking to my theory that all the references to Reagan, the “Castro brothers” and KJI are meant to tap into the memories of the folks in the Heartland who miss the unproblematic polarizing of good and evil during the Cold War,

    [Disclaimer: I myself of course don’t think it was unproblematic….etc]

  27. honeypants says:

    Oh, this is the most brilliant thing I’ve seen all day!!!

  28. annemarie says:

    that’s funny honeypants! I’m beginning to cheer up somewhat!
    Here is another thing to be happy about: the polls that show Obama and McCain neck in neck do not take into consideration the thousands of new voters who have registered (76,000 in Nevada alone!!) and therefore are not really valid reflections of which way the electoral wind is blowing.
    Just because SHE saved face last night, does not mean their campaign is in better shape now.

  29. OMGGMAB says:

    I’d like to slap her stupid eye winking face! Does she think she can flirt her way through an international crisis the way she’s trying to do with American voters? I can’t wait for her to go back to Alaska where the 500 people who voted for her to be their governor can revel in her 5 minutes of fame!

  30. OMGGMAB says:

    “Oil and coal, it’s a fungible commodity, and they don’t flag, you know, the molecules, where it’s goin’ and where it’s not…” – Sarah Palin

    The words of a genius who should be allowed to run a country where she would have access to use of “nuculer” (OMFG!!) weapons. If she’s in charge, we need to head for the caves of Afghanistan!

  31. Sister Wolf says:

    Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes ,yes.

    Rape her?? I hope you mean “rape and kill” her.

    About patting the baby: I think she was smacking his back, trying to wake him up so she could parade him around…I found it highly suspect and not motherly or realistic at all. Fucking Cunt

  32. Sonja says:

    eew, I don’t like the rape jokes, I have to say.

  33. Sonja says:

    but I did LOVE the Palen Debate Flow Chart, Annemarie, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised to learn that it was the real deal.

  34. Sarah P says:

    We have to worry about Cuba because Palin can see it from her beach home in Florida. All the middle class working hockey moms know how hard it is to be worth $1.2 billion dollars and they have fear in their eyes when they think that about the danger they are in from the Castro brothers rearing their heads into florida from their make shift rafts. YES PLEASE RAPE HER AND FUCK HER IN THE NECK BEFORE KILLING HER!!!!! KILL HER A MILLION TIMES!!!!!

    And I dont necessarily like rape jokes either. Thats why I am not joking. I mean I certainly felt violated by her winking last night. No matter where I looked that fucking eye was following me, winking at me, letting me know how cutesie Palin thinks it is that she is raping the fuck out of all of us!

  35. Sonja says:

    yes, I see where the rape references are coming from – my sensitivities got the better of me – but I still think that metaphor is hugely problematic.

  36. Sonja says:

    …GET OUT AND VOTE AND TAKE EVERYONE YOU KNOW WITH YOU is your only recourse, no?

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