Cargo Pants vs BP Oil Disaster

Which subject do you find more appealing: Houlihan cargo pants by J Brand or the BP oil leak?

On the one hand, the cargo pants are flying off the shelves everywhere! Stores are having to re-order them to try to meet the ragign demand for them, at $230 a pair.

On the other hand, 37,424,000 gallons of oil has gushed into the Gulf of Mexico as opposed to the 21,000 gallons per day estimated by British Petroleum last week.   In fact, the daily rate is 1,050,000.

On the one hand, the Houlihan cargo pants have been seen on Jessica Alba, Hilary Duff, Ciara, Rihanna and Sea of Shoes, among other fashion victims leaders. They are the It-est It Item you will see this summer. You too can dress like all your idols if you have $230 and an internet connection!

On the other hand, we now know without a doubt that the US government is owned by Big Oil. The staggering lack of action or expertise at handling this environmental catastrophe is clear evidence of who’s running the show here. Obama, Bush, it doesn’t matter who the oil companies put in charge since they just do what their masters tell them to do.

And yet….the cargo pants. They are tangible. They are achievable. They don’t make you think of death and destruction and cancer and deceit and paranoia or greed.

They come in vintage navy, olive and taupe.

This entry was posted in Horrible Stuff, News and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

32 Responses to Cargo Pants vs BP Oil Disaster

  1. Miggs says:

    Well, the pants make ME think of death.

  2. Sister Wolf says:

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahaha! xo

  3. Miggs says:

    Flippancy aside, this is a great post.

  4. Deanne says:

    You and your blog make me so happy.

  5. Braindance says:

    But who is a big enough bell end to take his place, maybe Sting?

    The BP is a monumental fuck up, we are not getting much press on it over here (Blighty) no surprise there though

  6. arline says:

    The choices people make are astounding.

  7. Mary says:

    Those cargo pants are murder on the thighs.

  8. Dru says:

    What I’m really wondering is if any of these fashion people will dare to actually put things in the leg pockets…

    And- sorry for the allcaps, but I have to vent- WHY ARE ALL THESE FASHION FUCKNUTS APPROPRIATING THE CONTENTS OF MY POOR-STUDENT WARDROBE??! First my glasses, then backpacks and messenger bags, then hoodies and button-down shirts, now even my cargo pants that I keep bus fare and my phone stuffed in because it means I don’t have to carry bags when I’m going out.

    I have a feeling I’m going to end up dressed like a Wall Streeter because that’s the only thing I’ll be able to afford after the child fashion bloggers have driven up the prices of my regular clothes by buying them all up, and the financial district look isn’t something they want right now.

  9. Desiree says:

    This is the most hilarious, wild post I have read for yonks!!!! Thank you!

  10. Dru says:

    That oil spill is just tragic though. Of course the BP dudes weren’t going to admit it was beyond them, the last major oil spil I rremember was the Exxon/Valdez one, and that was pretty bad too.

  11. annemarie says:

    Skinny cargo pants…vomit.

    You’re right. I can’t bear to think about the oil spill. Whenever I see coverage on it, I want to look away. It’s a visceral reaction. Perhaps this will be the crisis that curtails the freedoms of the oil companies, though. At least, I don’t remember any other president before Obama pronouncing a moratorium on oil drilling for any length of time. I really hope so.

  12. honeypants says:

    THANK YOU for calling it LEAK and not SPILL. I live on the edge a constant panic attack about this thing. I can smell it from where I am, which is least 60-70 miles from the coast. I can’t imagine how awful it is down there! It’s pretty much The Worst Thing That Has Ever Happened. Or at least among them, like Chernobyl.

    As for those pants, I think BP should collect them all, and use them as part of the “Junk Shot” that’s supposed to coordinate with the “Top Kill” which is totally not going to work, but at least it will get rid of those atrocious pants (which look like they should come in acid wash).


  13. Pudfish says:

    Unless carefully controlled this will be a horrid, toxic, eye- watering disaster, and then there’s the oil leak…

  14. AmandaMichele says:

    I live in Florida. Pretty soon hurricane season will come and me, my home, and my lovely tropical oasis will all be covered in a lovely layer of glossy goopy oil. Fuck cargo pants.

  15. Iron Chic says:

    They ARE named after one of my heros, Major Margaret Houlihan….
    The rise looks awfully low on those pants-not a good look for me.
    $230 can buy 3 delicious meals at my favorite French restaurant…or 100 hotdogs. That is how I budget money in my brain.

  16. Eliza says:

    I grew up in Houston, where most trips to Galveston did not include the beach. Oil spills/leaks were small but frequent. You’d always encounter a thick line of dead fish and gooey blackness across the sand.

  17. Witch Moma says:

    I want those pants, pure & simple HOWEVER, if fossil fuel is involved in their existence, it’s time to just say no. Green fashion based on renewable energy. I will give nuclear power a pass cuz I like Christie Todd Whitman. Maybe she would like the pants too.

  18. Ann says:

    Those pants are shit. The oil spill is shit. The whole lot of it is shit.

  19. Alicia says:

    Why must I cry?

    When I have no real response, I usually default to that song…because it’s so tragic…as are these pants…and the oil spill (which I think we all can start calling a deluge at this point).

    I hate that we’re run by oil companies. I really, really do.

  20. This is a trick question isn’t it?! Actually I have to admit I tried the cargo pants on in black and they looked shite. Don’t buy them people, send the money to help clean up the beaches instead.

  21. rebecca says:

    I hate that we’re run by oil companies too. By big companies in general. It’s so frustrating that it makes me want to cry oftentimes. Because we have absolutely no control over this thing, short of buying a plane ticket (more oil) out there and mopping it up ourselves. Which is also useless because there’s just too much of it.

    And the more stuff like this happens, that I have no control over, because this big business stuff has completely bought over our government, the more I think “fuck them” and take my money elsewhere. Like buying a bike and cycling to places that are within cycling distance. And buying foods from local farmers instead of from big companies that use tons of oil. That kind of thing. Fuck them all. Now if I could only afford solar panels and a Tesla…

    Oh, and those trousers are ugly.

  22. HelOnWheels says:

    What I want to know is WHEN THE F*CK IS BP GOING TO BE CHARGED WITH CRIMINAL NEGLIGENCE!!!???!! Because that’s exactly what they’ve participated in. I’ve started writing all of my D.C. governmental representatives. If they don’t do anything I’m voting them out of office at the next election (well, like I usually do, but this time I’l be more angry when I make my selection in the voting booth).

  23. erika says:

    I can find better pants at my local thrift on the dollar rack. The oil spill sucks. Way to go humanity. I am in life is worthless and stupid kick. This is not helping me.

  24. Bessie the Buddha cow says:

    Deanne Says: “You and your blog make me so happy.” Same here.

    Also, HelOnWheels, BP SHOULD BE CHARGED!

    New Letter campaign SW?


  25. arline says:

    What is a solution, that we can each make everyday of our existence?

    We are in some serious shit, and we can all choose to do things differently. It would not even take that much.

    I saw those stupid cargo pants today, and wonder how they can actually be valued at what they are selling for (and apparently like hot cakes).

    I also saw pictures of animals covered in oil, which made me cry.

    What is important? What kind of world do we want? We have obviously chosen one that wants to self destruct, but have lots of money in the meantime.

  26. TheShoeGirl says:

    I am not on board with this cargo pant trend. Skinny cargo pants are even worse.

    Your blog makes me happy.

  27. Sheri says:

    Pants should only cost $230 if:
    1. you look better than you ever have in your life while wearing them
    2. they not only wash and dry themselves, but fold all of your other laundry.

    The oil leak sucks, our dependence on fossil fuels sucks, our tendency to make and use and dispose of things we don’t need and don’t really have a place for sucks, and the fact that there isn’t a viable alternative without returning us all to living in caves and eating only what we can grow sucks. (I try to grow vegetables, but there are too many trees in my yard that, in the interests of global warming, I’m not willing to cut down, and what I do manage to cultivate despite the glowering gloam is eaten by deer.)

    I love bitching and moaning about the state of the world; I would love it even more if I could follow that up by offering viable alternatives.

  28. Bessie the Buddha cow and how to change the world: says:

    Here’s one that I’m sure everyone knows about. A vegetarian driving a Hummer has less of an ecological impact than a meat eater riding a bike.

    You can all start by eating less commercially grown meat, (yes, including chicken, fish, pig, turkey, etc). And you all know how much fuel, water and feed it takes to make 1lb of steak. (30 gallons of water, 16 lbs of grain . . . and cows shouldn’t be eating grain . . . grass fed, if you must eat meat, is best).

    You can start a revolution by what you put at the end of your fork. You can change the world by what you spend your money on (no $230 fucking weird ass cargo pants). Change does begin with each and everyone of us.

    And letter writing (e-mails) are extra added value to your changing the world one forkful at a time!

    Eat green, be green, and living a long and healthy life is one way to get back at the big conglomerates that are fucking up OUR planet!

  29. Those pants make me want to kill myself.

  30. This is such an enormous disaster (the oil leak, the pants are the usual minor annoyance) and our government should be taken to task as much as BP – failed us on so many levels. And how to punish them? You think BP cares about getting sued?! These fuckers have an oil leak from 1950 about 30x the size of Exxon Valdez in our backyard in Greenpoint Brooklyn and are they cleaning it up? Sure, to the extent of maybe a cup a day, because they’ve got some of the world’s best lawyers and they had city officials in their pockets for years.
    Ah, thanks for the venting space. Down with Big Oil! Write your congressmen!

  31. sketch42 says:

    The pants sicken me. So does the oil spill. But I dont have to look at the oil on the streets of nyc everyday.

  32. sketch42 says:

    The Chanel bags made out of hay are the most offensive thing I have seen all year.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *