Choose Your Assignment!

I was so touched and delighted when “Sam” suggested that my readers could take over some of my worries for me while I tend to my PTSD. The three big-ticket worries I mentioned were Libya, Mrs. Palin, and fashion.

So I’d like to hand over these worries on a volunteer basis. Just pick the one you feel most suited or inclined to worry about!   Here they are, in no order:


Mrs. Palin

The Tea Party

Obama’s ineptitude

Fashion trends

Nuclear catastrophe

Celebrity break-ups

Blogger business deals

Tavi developments


Corporate crime

The economy

Sea of Shoes


I plan to continue worrying about hair and hair products, cosmetic surgery, language issues, cunts and COTW, and minor pop culture irritants. That’s all I can handle until further notice.

Okay, Thank you in advance for your kindness and generosity. Once you have chosen a Worry to be responsible for, just do your best. If you can’t fulfill your obligation and have to step down, it will go to the Alternate Candidate for that category.


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32 Responses to Choose Your Assignment!

  1. David Duff says:

    Mrs. Palin. I really do worry about her. I mean, she nevers answers my letters. I always include a photo – the last one was the picture of me in my L Js which has been known to reduce ladies to a helpless quiver. But still no response. Whisper who dares but I may have to shift my affections – does anyone know anything about that Michele Bachman? She talks good sense, has a great smile, nice legs, and I think she would look rather nice on the arm of an elderly British gent! Be honest, what do you think?

    (Er, not a word to the ‘Memsahib’, mind!)

  2. skye says:

    Can I take celebrity breakups for you? Most of those are a bit USA-centric for me to drum up enough worry to really take the burden, but since I find myself worrying over the current state of say, Naomi Watts & Liev Schreiber’s relationship, or, heaven help us all, Brangelina, anyway, I feel I am ably suited to the worry on this one.

    I will also (as a bonus) take up any concern/distate you may have over the Sean Penn/Scarlett Johanson relationship – unless of course you want to hold onto that one.

  3. Harmreduction says:

    I will be MORE than happy to take over healthcare for you. As I obsess, worry, and complain constantly over that issue already, I would be grateful to continue to do same under the guise of bestowing kindness to someone who deserves it for a change. Thank you for the oportunity to serve.

  4. Mrs. Shreck says:

    I could worry about fashion for you. I don’t know if my worries about fashion are your worries about fashion, so I could also worry that I am not worrying about fashion in a way that fully honors the assignment. I could worry that I am not worrying about fashion as well as you worry about fashion. I could worry that even my very worrying is not of the quality of your worrying. I’m sorry. I love you!

  5. Queen Marie says:

    Queen Michelle and I could take “blogger business deals”
    We ourselves don’t bother with such nonsense so could devote serious time to dealing with this particular worry…


  6. regularstarfish says:

    @Mrs. Shreck,

    I can also worry about fashion since I do it all day long anyway. Let me know if you are having a busy week and would like some back-up on this topic, or if you want to do every other week.

  7. regularstarfish says:

    Alternatively, I can take Sea of Shoes off the list. Finding ways to keep up with a Texan teenager’s fashion choices is of particular concern to all of us in an age when half of the Middle East is undergoing social and political revolutions while still trying to maintain their Islamic sense of what they feel is right.

    It is our absolute duty as Freedom Fighters to encourage appropriate decision-making tactics when it comes to mixing $2 square dancing skirts with $900 Prada pumps.

  8. Ann says:

    I’ll take The Tea Party off your hands, Sister. My rage for them is equalled only by my love for you.

  9. Layla says:

    Oh gosh, I’ve been worrying about the Nuclear catastrophe/s a lot, but not sure if I actually qualify as a ‘volunteer’- hmm? (What is required of those? Posting and blogging about it, trying to make a change in the world – or just uhm, worrying? ;)) I do wish more people would try to make a change so I wouldn’t need to, uhm, worry so much!! (so, co-volunteers wanted!! :))
    I’m contemplating living fridge-less and building a solar pot fridge, not sure if that’s enough?? hmm!!

    PS Rafqa is that you?? 🙂 lol!

  10. patni says:

    I can take sea too. I just found a barbie that looks just like her, so I have been taking her to stupid coffeeshop and large plastic animal type events. I should probably worry.

  11. Kelly says:

    I’d like to join Harmreduction in the healthcare BS—perhaps we could co-chair. I love the idea that taking this on will strengthen your journey…

  12. This is such a good idea – I’ll swap Sarah Palin for our useless coalition Government and the AV referendum, is that allowed?

  13. sam says:

    I want to give the job of worrying about Libya to Sea and she will worry so much that she will put a halt to her self obsessiveness, sell all her crap and take in innocent refugees or pay for hospitals to care for the injured.

    Her ‘mom’ can have Afghanistan.

    There, that’s three worries gone.

  14. Sister Wolf says:

    OH MY GOD, this is fantastic!!!!!!!!! This is working for me already. I Feel a sense of burden lifting…

    Skylark, I do think I may want to keep the scarlett/sean thing for the moment but otherwise THANK YOU girl, this is a big one.

    Regularstarfish, I love your practicality. You rule.

    Queen Marie , PERFECT. If it becomes too sickening, just give a shout and we’ll see if you can swap it for something else.

  15. Liz!! says:

    Listen, I can take Tavi developments. Her desire to revert to the 90s in every stereotypical way is enough to make me vomit, but I will vomit for you, Sister.

    Sit back and let US worry.

  16. Audi says:

    I’ll take Obama’s Ineptitude; it’s already an escalating worry that’s been like one of those back-of-the-eyeballs throbbing headaches for me these many months now. It deserves to take its rightful place in my frontal lobe.

  17. Dexter VanDango says:

    Mr. Duff, why do you insist on lusting after American ninnies? Haven’t you found any British wank objects since that rickets-riddled scarecrow, the dominatrix Thatcher?

    I volunteer to worry about men dreaming of blonde Republican bitches welding whips. There are more of them then we’d like to believe.

  18. Catherine says:

    I would like to take part in worrying about fashion trends. I’ll pay close attention to the summer music festivals which has just kicked off. I’ve already seen some Cochella horror, hipsters trying to outdo each other in the 100 degree heat. I bet a lot of those skinny jeans had to be cut off.
    I just wish I had started worrying about this sooner. To think of the poor fashionistas who lost toes to frostbite in the peep toe bootie trend of the past winter.

  19. Andra says:

    This is a great idea.

    I can’t imagine how nobody thought of it before.
    Except of course, the Jews did … Remember “The Last of the Just”.
    The Andre Schwartz Bard book from the 1960’s where a group of just men take on all the troubles of the world.

    I think you will have to add Mr Trump to this list now.
    Imagine the double Donald Trump and the Palin bitch will make next year for the Republicans. If they are elected, and it is certainly a possibility, given the stupidity of many Americans (sadly) they’ll blow up the fucking world before the inauguration’s over!

    Apart from that useless contribution I don’t think I’ll be much help. I’m not much good at worrying…. I am more your “rose coloured glasses” type.
    I think everything will turn out just fine in the end and, when it doesn’t, it’s too late to worry.
    Sorry Sis.
    I’ll do the best I can.
    Hmmmm….. worry, worry. I’m workin’ on it.

    At least I can worry that I don’t know how to worry.

  20. Cricket9 says:

    I’m very, VERY worried about Mr. Trump already – I can take it on; I can also do the nuclear catastrophe and healthcare (it would be our Canadian healthcare tough). Other than that, I can share fashion trends if needed.
    Recently I’m also worried about Moms. Yes, Moms – the ones that make all the amazing discoveries: “A Mom figured out how to get rid of wrinkles!” “A Mom discovered how to melt your belly fat!” “A Mom’s secret how to have a white teeth!”
    What the hell? Who’s minding the children when the Moms are busy working on “A Mom’s method for curing cancer!” Any answers, Mr. and Ms. advertisers???!

  21. Sister Wolf says:

    Andra – “They also serve who also stand and worry” John Milton

  22. Andra says:

    Cricket – I think this Mom type is Mrs. Brown – check out the Irish videos of Mrs. Brown.
    Mrs Brown’s bikini wax is a good place to start.
    Sis – I’m sorry. I’d just rather laugh than cry.
    I just don’t have the right disposition for all this worrying stuff.

  23. Cricket9 says:

    Andra, I’ll check Mrs. Brown, thanks!
    Well actually I made a good progress on NOT worrying in general, since it usually doesn’t make any difference except making me more miserable. But, for FUCK’S SAKE – Mr. “I Have a Hamster On My Head” Trump for president?! That is worrisome, since the second election of Mr. Bush Jr. I’m convinced that anything can happen in America.
    I should really go to bed. Tomorrow morning I have a meeting with my boss about a problem; I’m supposed to figure out a solution, plan of action etc., but mostly – how to explain that a solution proposed by our senior boss as “quick and easy” is not quick and easy at all, and we definitely should not go that way. All that on one page. Ha ha. Good night everyone!

  24. Andra says:

    Good luck Cricket.
    Go in swinging!!

  25. Aja says:

    Fashion trends. I’m on it. I think that subject is big enough for multiple worriers.

  26. Konnie says:

    I can take the nuclear catastrophe off your shoulders too if you like! As I have been living in Japan for the past 8 months (and sort of witnessing everything that has been happening in the last month and 8 days) I have been worried way, way too much about nuclear and natural disasters! So please consider yourself covered 🙂

  27. Suspended says:

    I make a good cup of tea. That has to be of some use?

  28. David Duff says:

    Mr. Van Drango, my second will attend you later and arrange a meeting at dawn in m’ lower paddock. Please be so good as to indicate whether pistols or swords are your weapon of choice. Sir, you insult two of the dearest ladies in my life and they will not go unavenged!

  29. marie says:

    i’ll cover corporate crime, the economy, and back up Audi on Obama. these are topics i currently worry over until i force myself to change the mental track, so i’ll just let it circle a few more times to absorb your would-be worry. good luck. i hope you can release these.

  30. Erika says:

    I will take on worrying about the economy because we live under a false monetary system anyway so why not ? I can’t blog right now, my computer died and I am currently too poor to replace it. That however will change soon, and I am enjoying the blog break except yours which
    I loyally check and stand by.
    I understand your PTSD and send my love vibes hoping you feel some warmth from them. Hmmm, we were talking book sending before, would love to send you some Borges and Kundera.

  31. Dru says:

    I can take on Afghanistan (am probably the closest to it geographically, of all of us here).

    I’m still very much on board with the book-sending idea too, Sister- or with anything that has even the smallest chance of making you feel better.

  32. Cat says:

    Suspended: Yes, no tea=no good 😉

    Looks like I’m a bit late! I can relieve anyone of their temporary extra-worrying if they get a bit tired. Just say it people and I’ll do multi-subject worrying with extra nail-biting and head scratching to make it more efficient. You go get some tea to calm your worries.

    Much <3 to you SW!

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